I stare at the ceiling. Fuck if he isn’t right. And I hate it. What’s that saying? Get what you want, lose what you have. Which is it gonna be? My career, or the woman of my dreams? It seems fate is a bitch and won’t let me have both.
I know exactly how this is going to play out.
*****
Chapter 12
Lexi
I rush out of the bar and jump into the nearest taxi. I absently give the driver my home address, and then stare out of the window. My mind returns to the scene I just left, and then all the memories come flooding back.
Saxon was my first love. We started out as friends, and it just grew from there. He was my everything; my best friend, my boyfriend. He was the one person in my life that I could trust and rely on. I went by AJ then, Saxon gave me that nickname and it just stuck.
When my mother died, in the beginning he was there for me, helping me grieve. She was here one day, and the next she was hit by a drunk driver; never even got the chance to say goodbye. After a while Sax wasn’t around as much, and I found out why fast enough.
I was out getting some groceries when a woman walked up to me. She was pretty, dressed simply in a sundress and sandals.
“Are you AJ?”
I frowned in confusion, wondering who the hell this girl was. “Yes,” I told her, a little hesitantly.
“AJ, as in Sax’s girl?” she asked.
“Yeah... Why do you want to know? Is he okay?” I asked, concerned. Suddenly there were a thousand different scenarios running through my head.
At first I thought she would be bitchy, but she almost looked sad, as if she didn’t want to be the one to tell me this next blow. “My name is Shanora. I don’t want to tell you this, but I have to,” she said, and then took a deep breath. “I slept with Sax a few nights ago. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend until he called out your name during… our time together.”
“What?” I breathed out. I had a fleeting thought that there was no way Sax would do something like that to me. But the look on the girl’s face had me questioning everything. It had me nervous.
“I didn’t want to tell you, but I know what it’s like to be cheated on, and I’m sorry, but you needed to know.” Before I could ask her anything else, she rushed off.
Instead of finishing my shopping, I rushed out of the store, and headed over to Sax’s house. When I pulled up, he was sitting on his top step. I got out of the car, slamming the door, and he looked up. Noticing the look on my face he came to me right away, but I instantly backed up and held out my hand.
“Don’t f**king touch me,” I hissed violently.
“Baby, what...”
“Is it true? Did you sleep with some girl named Shanora?” I asked, cutting him off.
He put his head down then looked back up, tears in his eyes. “Baby, I’m so sorry, it was a mistake.”
“Well, that mistake just ended us. Stay away from me, Saxon.” I ran back to my car and he chased after me.
“AJ, please, stop. I’m sorry. It won’t ever happen again. I can’t lose you,” he begged.
Before pulling out, I yelled out my rolled down window, “Should have thought about that before you cheated on me!” Big, ugly, fat tears rolled down my face. I lost my mother, and then I’ve lost Sax, the only other person I had left in my life.
I was alone.
All alone.
I drove off, sobbing hysterically. It didn’t take long for Sax to come over to my house, pounding on my door, pleading with me. But I never opened it because I was busy making my own plans. I finished packing all my things and called up a rental company to get my house set up to rent out. Once I knew Sax was gone, I took my bags to my car, locked up the house, and left. I never looked back.
That was about three years ago. Seeing Sax again has hurt me all over again. The fact that he's in a band with Ryder, I don’t know what to do with that. I want to be with Ryder, but apparently being with him means I get my past rubbed in my face every day. What are the chances of this happening? Apparently the universe is out to get me.
*****
Ryder
Everything's messed up. Sax is missing in action, and Lexi isn’t talking to me. I went over to her apartment and Tee slammed the door in my face; nice to see that family has my back. I know I screwed up, letting Lexi think that maybe I believed some of the stuff Sax was spitting out, but that really isn’t the case. I have no idea what I’m gonna do. I can’t let the band fall apart, years of hard work and friendship, over my personal life. I need to talk to Sax and sort this out.
When he’s not at his house, I check a couple of other places he frequents. Some dodgy looking bar that doesn’t even have a sign, the basketball courts where he plays, and even his mum's house. When all come up empty, I head back to Lexi’s and feel completely stupid when I see Sax’s Harley parked in front of her apartment. Of course he would be here. I can’t help the sliver of fear that runs down my spine. What if Lexi wants him back? I don’t know what I'd do.
I run up the stairs and bang on her apartment door. Tee opens the door, this time letting me in quickly. I walk into the living room and see Sax and Lexi sitting on one of the couches. Sax is talking too quietly, and Lexi is sitting there saying nothing, looking like she wishes she was anywhere else.
“Lexi?” I say.
*****
Lexi
“I’m so sorry, AJ, please give me a second chance to make things right,” Sax says. He’s sitting next to me on the couch, his face drawn with sorrow.