With one hand still planted in my hair, he gripped his shaft in his other hand and pulled himself free from my mouth. “I don’t want to come yet,” he said through gritted teeth. “Let me take care of you.”
He grabbed my upper arms, pulling me to my feet, and planted a series of sweet kisses on my mouth.
“No. I need you inside me. Now.” He read the insistence in my eyes.
“Okay.” He pulled the hem of my sweater dress up and I lifted my arms, suddenly standing before him in just my bra and panties.
I reached around to unclasp my bra ditching it and then quickly removed my panties. I wasn’t sure why, but I needed to be in control. Not bothering to remove Cade’s shirt, I pulled him in toward me, my back pressed against the counter. His eyes held a trace of hesitation, but I pulled his lips to mine. “Take me.”
He lifted me onto the counter and rubbed at the lips of my swollen sex. “Are you wet enough, sweetheart? I don’t want to hurt you.”
He needed to cut it out with this nice guy shit. We both knew he wasn’t. This was exactly why my heart was in shreds.
Finding that I was already soaking wet—damn hormones—he rolled on a condom taken from his wallet. I wrapped my legs around his waist and dug my heels into his ass, urging him forward. Seconds later I felt his c**k nudging at my entrance. Yes, this was what I needed, just to forget about everything else and lose myself in the sensations. A wave of desire raced through my belly.
He inched forward, slipping inside me slowly. Achingly slowly.
I arched my back, lying against the cool hard counter, and squeezed my eyes closed. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”
Cade’s movements picked up, if only infinitesimally, and his fingertips grazed my br**sts. “Alexa? Look at me.”
I opened one eye. “Just do it Cade. You’re not going to break me.”
His hands moved to my hips to pull me forward against his pelvis. I watched his movements for a moment before letting my eyes drift closed again. I rocked my hips against his, despite the pleasure-pain combo gripping my insides from the fullness. I let out heavy pants, pushing my hips forward in time to meet his thrusts, cutting into his ass with my fingernails.
“Stop, Lex, stop. This isn’t revenge sex.” He pulled away from me, his cock, warm and wet, resting against my belly. “What are you doing?” He took my shoulders, gently shaking them until I met his gaze.
I sat up on the counter, tears welling in my eyes. What the hell was I doing? This wasn’t me. I wasn’t a goddess in the bedroom—or kitchen, as it were—I was inexperienced and clumsy. I was only doing this because my feelings for him terrified me. I loved him. I f**king loved him. I sucked in my bottom lip, refusing to cry. “I’m not a p**n star. I know I’m not like the other women you’ve been with…”
He released a frustrated breath, and clenched his fists at his sides. “That’s what you thought this was? That I wanted rough sex with you…because of my past…” He yanked up his boxers and jeans. “Fuck.” The curse ripped through his chest in a low growl. His hands were trembling and the look in his eyes was unlike anything I’d ever seen.
I pulled in a shaky breath.
Cade scooped me up from the counter, easily lifting me in his arms, and cradled me against his chest as he stalked from the kitchen. He kicked open the door to my bedroom and tossed me in the center of the bed, where I landed with a soft thud.
He crawled towards me, leaning in close to my ear, his voice low and laced with anger. “If you want me to f**k you hard, I will. But not because you think it’s what I want. I want you. Just you, Alexa. Your soft curves, your lack of experience, your tight pu**y that’s only ever been mine. That night with you, despite what I might have said, we made love, and it was the best sex of my life.” He sat back on his heels, giving me a chance to process his words. “And more than that, it wasn’t just sex that we shared that night.” He rubbed his hands over his hair. “Christ, cupcake. I’m in love with you.”
Chapter 23
Cade
Alexa’s stunned reaction to those five little words wasn’t quite what I was expecting. Her wide blue eyes stayed locked on mine for several seconds before they pinched closed. She shook her head. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
I cupped her cheeks, and she opened her eyes. “I meant every word. I love you.” A smile blossomed on her lips and I leaned forward to kiss her. “If I have to sacrifice to give you everything you want, if I have to change who I am, whatever I have to do—tell me. It’s done. I can’t believe I thought I could live without you.”
She looked down, a rosy blush staining her cheeks. “Cade,” she whispered softly, gripping handfuls of the sheets in her little palms.
“I was f**king miserable without you. An absolute wreck. Please forgive me, cupcake.”
She looked up, seeming to draw some strength at hearing me grovel, her mischievous grin slipping back in place. “And you’ll commit—only to me. No more filming no matter how tough times get.”
“I promise.” I kissed the back of her hand, her knuckles, her wrist.
“And you won’t even so much as look at another woman when we’re together.”
I met her eyes. “I won’t need to. I’ve got the most beautiful girl in the world with me.” We were making our own vows to each other, and no matter how strange they might have seemed they were perfect for us. “Will you be okay with me sitting on my ass on Sunday afternoons, watching the game and having a beer?”