Joe thought of something. "Oh wait, when their engagement ended I wasn't there, so we win."
His wince deepened. "Ah, Joe? You kind of were."
She frowned as she thought it over. "No, I wasn't. Yeah, you guys were fighting while we were up at the ski resort, but you broke up after you dropped me off at my house. So there, that's one major event at least, even though I'm sure there are more that I just don't remember right now."
Nathan kept chuckling.
Bastard.
"What?" she asked, looking at Eric as he bowed his head over his plate, shoveling food in his mouth like there was no tomorrow.
"You were there alright," Nathan said.
Okay, now she was seriously confused. She narrowed her eyes on Eric who was shoveling his food in faster, obviously trying to avoid the question.
"What did you do?" she demanded as she narrowed her eyes on him. She was very sure that she wouldn't forget being in the room when her best friend broke off his engagement. Call her crazy, but that kind of thing should be memorable.
No answer.
"Maybe we should talk about something else," Alice said nervously.
Joe turned her glare onto Nathan whose smile grew wider. "Well, it seemed good old Beth, whom I like to point out I never liked, tried to put her foot down where the two of you were concerned. Seems she didn't like all the touchy feely crap between the two of you that we all long ago accepted as normal, at least where you two are concerned. She wanted him to start treating her the way he treats you."
She nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know she had a problem with that and I understood it and apologized if it made her uncomfortable. Hell, I even spent the entire second day by myself, giving them time alone."
"Well, you may have spent the entire day apart, however......" Nathan said leadingly.
"What?" she demanded.
"Oh, brother," Alice mumbled. She sighed softly as she grabbed another biscuit. Camie still glared, probably about the engagement news. That really was seriously freaky. Caitlyn smiled shyly as she ate small bites, obviously uncomfortable and Joe couldn't blame her since she was starting to feel little uncomfortable herself.
"What the hell don't I know about?" Joe demanded, glancing between Eric and Nathan.
Eric groaned loudly as he dropped his fork on his plate and sat up straight. "Fine! You want to know what happened? I'll tell you. She made demands on me all day, hung on me all day, talked all goddamn day, everywhere I went there she was. Every time I tried to shake her off she was there. Finally it was late at night and I wanted some sleep so I was going to go sleep on the couch since there were only two rooms. She tried to demand that I sleep with her and I put my foot down."
Joe nodded. She knew about that. Eric hated sharing a bed with anyone. The few times he tried to spend the entire night in bed with a woman he freaked out. He was very particular about his sleep. He hated snoring, bed hogs, people who shifted in their sleep or made any sounds. For some reason he didn't object to sharing her bed and doing all those things to her.
"You had a problem sharing a bed with your fiancé?" Camie asked, looking unsure whether that news should please her or anger her.
"I'm a light sleeper, damn it!" Eric said defensively. "Everyone knows that."
"Uh huh," Nathan said absently, still smiling. Bastard. "Tell her the rest."
"If you don't tell me what you did to cost me a hundred bucks I swear to god I am going to strap your ass to a backboard on Monday morning and let the guys shave your ass from head to toe." she threatened, knowing the guys would happily do it.
"Fine, my little drama queen, if you must know. The couch was too damn lumpy so I went to your room to get some sleep."
"Wait. If you wouldn't sleep in the same bed with your fiancé then why would you sleep with her?" Camie asked with a suspicious scowl.
Nathan sighed dramatically. "Because she's his bitch. You really need to pay attention."
"Nathan!" Alice gasped, smiling.
Caitlyn chuckled softly. Joe was really going to like Caitlyn, she could tell.
"Anyway," Eric said, stretching out the word. "I fell asleep and sometime after two, Beth woke up and decided to come looking for me. When she didn't find me on the couch she went straight to Joe's room and that's where she found me."
Joe held up her hand. "Wait a minute. I seriously don't remember any of this and I'm pretty sure since she was incapable of talking without screeching that she would have woken me up."
Eric cringed as he looked away.
Nathan laughed long and loud.
Alice sighed, taking a sip of the wine she somehow managed to get without Joe noticing during this weird little conversation.
Camie put her fork down and crossed her arms defiantly over her chest while glaring at her and Eric. Was anyone else freaked out by this?
Caitlyn smiled sweetly.
"Well?" Joe said, sounding as irritated as she felt.
Eric cleared his throat uncomfortably. "It's really no big deal."
That sent Nathan into a fresh round of laughter.
Oh, she had a strong feeling that she wasn't going to like this. Not one bit.
"Care to explain how I was in the room with the two of you while you broke off your engagement without getting woken up by a woman who never said anything below a shriek?"
Nathan grabbed his chest as tears rolled down his cheeks. He started laughing so hard that he actually fell out of his chair and hit the floor with a loud thud.
"Oh, brother," Alice sighed, taking another large sip of wine.
"How?" she demanded.
Eric gave her his best charming smile. "I made sure you wouldn't wake up."
"How?"
He picked up his fork and started pushing around his food, keeping his gaze off of her. "I, uh,....I may have," he cleared his throat, "had to um, place a pillow over your head just for a little bit there."
She gasped. "You smothered me?"
"Yes!" Nathan somehow managed to say through his uncontrollable laughter.
"You bastard," she breathed.
"Oh, come on! I made sure you were still breathing! You only turned blue once and that was because I was too busy defending you to notice!"
"Oh, gee, I guess that makes it okay then," she said dryly.
Chapter 6
"Thanks a lot, ass**le," Eric said, snatching the cake knife out of Nathan's hands.
"Hey!" Nathan made a grab for it and missed.
Eric glared at his older brother as he made short work of cutting a huge slice of their mother's triple layered double chocolate cake with fudge and peanut butter frosting. He plopped the huge slice of cake in a bowl and tossed the knife behind him into the sink.
Nathan rolled his eyes. "Real mature, dip shit." He made a move to steal Eric's cake only to have his hand slapped away. "Ow! What the hell?"
"What is going on in here?" Alice asked in the same exasperated tone she used when they were teenagers and she caught them smoking. At least she didn't look like she was about to make them smoke an entire carton of cigarettes this time.
"Nothing," both men grumbled.
"Uh huh," Alice said absently as she walked around the counter and grabbed a clean knife out of a drawer. She looked at Nathan and frowned. "Sweetie, shouldn't you be getting Caitlyn a slice of cake?"
"I was trying to," Nathan bit out as he rubbed the back of his hand, scowling at Eric.
Their mother let out a pained sigh as she grabbed several plates. She raised an eyebrow as she glanced at Eric. "I'm assuming you're getting Joe a plate."
Eric gestured towards the large slice of cake with his chin as he scooped out some M & M ice cream.
"Are you getting Camie a slice as well?" she asked, sounding hopeful.
He snorted. "What? And encourage her stalker tendencies?" He shook his head.
Nathan chuckled softly as he looked quickly over his shoulder to make sure the three of them were still alone in the kitchen.
"Seriously, mom, what were you thinking? That woman is frightening," Nathan said, feigning a shudder.
Eric sucked ice cream off his finger. "Thank god, I thought it was just me," he said with a sigh. "Seriously, mom, what the hell were you thinking?"
"I was thinking," she said as she expertly sliced and placed four slices of cake onto small plates, "that it would be nice to see my youngest son settle down and give me some grandchildren before I die."
"Jeez, ma, I'm only thirty. Besides I don't see you getting all desperate about Nathan. He's not married either."
"I don't have to set Nathan up-"
"Something I truly appreciate by the way," Nathan muttered.
"-because he puts himself out there and doesn't have a problem keeping a steady girlfriend," she finished as she began scooping ice cream onto the plates, making sure to give Nathan an extra scoop of chocolate swirl.
"Fine, but you don't do this to Joe either. Only me, why?" he asked as he grabbed two spoons and stabbed them into the large slice of cake.
She waved his comment off like it was nothing. "I'm not worried about Joe. She dates when she wants to. When she's ready to settle down she will."
Eric gaped at her. "How exactly is that different from what I'm doing?"
"Because you, my baby boy, have never had a steady girlfriend." She held up her hand to stop his protests. "Beth doesn't count, sweetie. You dated for maybe a month before you got engaged and then were together for another two weeks and I don't think I heard or saw you treat even her anything other than just a friend. You keep all your relationships casual, sweetie. It's past time you had a serious girlfriend. Then we can work on getting you married off," she said with a hopeful smile.
"I just haven't met anyone that I want to get serious about. Has that occurred to you?' he asked.
She smiled. "That is exactly why I invite woman over so that you have a chance to meet someone."
"Mom," he growled softly. "I meet new people every day."
"It doesn't kill you to meet more people," she said, placing two plates into Nathan's hands.
"Well, maybe he'd be more receptive to your matchmaking if,....gee, I don't know, maybe if they weren't nut jobs and frightening as hell," Nathan said wryly.
Alice gasped. "She's not that bad.....is she?"
Both men stared at her.
She nibbled her lip. "Well, she seemed so nice at the grocery store. We talked a few times and she expressed that she would like to meet a nice guy, so," she shrugged her shoulders, "I thought I'd introduce the two of you." She gave him a sheepish smile.
"I'm touched," Eric said dryly.
She sighed warily. "Here." She thrust one of the plates in his direction. "Bring this to Camie so I can get coffee."
Reluctantly he took it, hoping she didn't think this meant they were engaged. The thought made him inwardly cringe.
Grumbling to himself, he carried the two plates into the living room. He found Camie sitting on the love seat, glaring at him like he'd just forgotten their anniversary or something. Without a word he handed, well, more like thrust, a plate into her hand. He ignored her gasp of outrage and walked over to one of the two large overstuffed grey couches, wondering where the hell Joe was.
It had been a good twenty minutes since she discovered he sort of smothered her with a pillow. You'd think she'd be over it by now. Such a drama queen, he thought as he plopped down on the couch.
"Where'd Joe go?" he asked around a huge spoonful of cake and ice cream.
Caitlyn cleared her throat. "She left," she said, sounding on the verge of laughter.
"Left?" he demanded, placing his dessert on the coffee table. His eyes shot over to Camie who was glaring at him. Oh, he was going to spank Joe's ass raw for this. He couldn't believe she'd leave him with this nut because he may have inadvertently smothered her and encouraged Greg to hound her this morning. Nothing he'd done to her warranted this. Oh, when he got his hands on her-
"You should have just said you were g*y instead of wasting my time," Camie snapped angrily as Nathan and his mother walked into the room. She got to her feet. Eric couldn't move as her words registered in his mind. What the hell? Gay? Him? Not a chance.
All four of them silently watched her leave. Three pairs of eyes turned on him as the sound of the front door slamming shut echoed throughout the suddenly quiet house.
He forced himself to remain calm as he asked, "Why does she think I'm g*y?"
"You mean you're not?" Nathan asked, feigning innocence.
Their mother sighed heavily as she reached up and slapped her oldest son upside the head.
"Ow!"
"Would you people focus? Why does that lunatic think I'm g*y?"
"Joe may have led her to believe that," Caitlyn said quietly, drawing everyone's attention.
Eric thought over that little revelation and after a few minutes shrugged. As long as the psycho was gone he really could care less how it was done. He sat back down with his dessert and dug in. He ignored his brother's teasing remarks while he enjoyed his cake lunatic free.
Besides, being accused of being g*y was a small price to pay for weekend of deep sea fishing. He considered this little episode as payment in full. Although he may decide to make her life a living hell on the boat for a couple days, it really depended on if he was bored or not. For Joe's sake she better hope the fish were biting this weekend.