"Well," he said, clearing his throat and feeling a little uncomfortable under her glare, "you know you couldn't do this forever." She cocked a brow at that little announcement so he added, "Could you really see yourself doing this job when you were fifty?"
"Yes," she said with absolutely no hesitation and made his job of convincing her to do something else more difficult. He decided to get rid of the bullshit pleasantries and get to the point.
"There's no way you'll be able to lift a grown man when you're fifty, Joe, and if you think so then you're crazy. Hell, you'll probably have problems doing it when you're forty. Besides that, Joe, you shouldn't have to do a job like this where you have to put your neck on the line and never really able to have a life because you never know if you're going to get out on time or have to pick up a shift," he said, noting the way her eyes narrowed dangerously on him.
"I have a life," she shot back defensively.
"Oh, really?" he asked, cocking a brow. "When's the last time you had a date?"
"I don't know," she said, shrugging it off like it was nothing, "it doesn't mean anything."
"Uh huh, and when's the last time you got laid?" he asked, silently daring her to lie to him. He knew it had been at least a year and a half for her.
"It's none of your business!" she snapped as she visibly tensed in her seat.
"Yeah, that's what I thought, Joe," he said, pushing his plate away. "You don't date. You don't have much of a life outside of work. Hell, I can't remember the last time you turned down overtime. You're thirty, Joe, and if you keep this job you're going to be forty and lonely and wondering how the hell life passed you by. You need to find something else that's safe and will allow you to have a life. I was thinking that I could help with-"
"What about you?" she suddenly demanded, interrupting him and sounding pissed.
"What about me?"
"You don't have a life. You don't date and I doubt you've gotten laid in the last year," she announced and he had to grind his teeth as he forced away the memory of why he hadn't gotten laid in too damn long to be normal. "Are you going to be looking for another line of work?"
He frowned. "No, why the hell would I?"
"Exactly," she said, placing her hands flat on the table and standing up. She leaned forward. "So it's okay for you to still be doing a job you love at forty, but not for me?" she demanded.
He got to his feet and leaned forward, closing the space between them until their noses were only a few inches apart. "Damn straight."
"Why exactly is that?"
"Honestly?" he asked, not really sure if she wanted to hear the truth.
"Of course," she said tightly and if it had been any other woman he wouldn't have laid into her, but this was Joe and he wanted her safe and if that meant pissing her off then so be it.
"While you think that you're one of the guys, Joe, you're not," he said, ignoring the flash of hurt in her eyes. "You're a woman and while that comes in handy when we have a patient that needs a reassuring word or two and a little handholding it's also a huge problem. You're smaller and weaker and when the shit hits the fan it means that not only does your partner have to handle whatever's going down, but he also has to make sure that you're safe and out of the way. It's a huge f**king liability that no one needs and it's only going to get worse as you get older and you know it."
For a moment she didn't say anything as she looked at him and he thought that maybe he needed to push the point a little more, but thankfully she seemed to understand. "I see. So, it's distracting to work with me," she summed it up.
"Yes."
She shrugged as she stepped away. "Then I guess I don't have any choice but to call up Bill and have him reassign me to another shift since I'm such a distraction for you."
Everything in him went still as her words hit home. She was going to work with someone else? Not f**king happening. As long as she was working on the truck, and if he had his way it wouldn't be much longer, she was going to work with him. He didn't trust some other ass**le to keep an eye on her and keep her safe.
That was his job.
"No," he said evenly.
"No, what?" she demanded.
"You're not switching off of our shift."
"That's not your decision, Eric. In fact, I believe you just made it painfully clear that it's a problem to work with me. Well, I found a solution so you should be happy that I'm going to be out of your hair soon," she bit out angrily as she moved to walk passed him.
He stepped in front of her. "You're not f**king switching off our shift, Joe. As long as you're determined to be pigheaded about this you're going to work with me so that I can keep you safe."
She shoved him back. "Who the hell do you think you are?" she demanded, stepping forward to shove him back again. "You're not my boss or my keeper! If I want to switch my shift then I'll switch my damn shift! And if I want to keep working on the truck until I'm old and gray then that's my goddamn business!"
"Bullshit!" he snapped, grabbing her hands when she went to push him again and shoved them behind her back. The movement forced her to arch into him until her br**sts were plastered against his bare chest and she was forced to glare up at him. "Anything that concerns you is my business."
"No, it's not!" she said, struggling against his hold. "I can take care of myself!"
"You don't have to!"
"Yes, I do!" she yelled.
"Why?" he demanded, yanking her back against him when she managed to put some distance between them.
"Because I don't have anyone, you ass**le! Now let me go!"
He glared down at her. "That's bullshit, Joe."
"No, it's not" she snapped, renewing her struggles, but he didn't let her gain so much as an inch this time.
"You have me, Joe! You've always had me," he bit out evenly. How the hell could she say that or even think that?
She'd always had him. Always. They'd been inseparable since they were eight years old and that hadn't changed, wouldn't change. She was just too damn stubborn to realize that she wasn't alone in this world, but she was hung up on that bitch that abandoned her and refused to see that she'd done her a favor. She was the most important person in his life and he thought that he was the same for her. It killed him to know that she thought she was alone. She wasn't. Not as long as he was around.
"No, I-"
Whatever she was about to say was cut off when he did the one thing he'd longed to do since the dare he'd accepted when they were fourteen, he kissed her. For a moment she stood there, tense, but he didn't let that stop him from enjoying her lips. They were so warm and soft and he couldn't seem to get enough.
He knew he'd f**ked up, but he couldn't help himself. She felt so good in his arms and when she moved her lips slowly against his she felt perfect. It was so damn good, but he wanted more.
With a groan he released her hands and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her impossibly closer as he tilted his head and traced the seam of her lips with the tip of his tongue. When she opened up to him he didn't hesitate. He slid his tongue inside of her mouth and couldn't help but feel like he was coming home.
She suckled his tongue into her mouth as her arms wrapped around his neck. In seconds the kiss went from cautious to out of control and desperate. He couldn't get enough of her and if the way she was fisting his hair was any indication then she felt the same way. They stumbled back until his back met the wall.
Without breaking the kiss he turned them around until she was against the wall. He removed his arms from around her and slid his hands over her back to her sides and up. He ran his hands over her br**sts, earning a needy little growl from Joe as her hard ni**les teased his hands through her shirt. She felt so good, a thousand times better than he ever imagined she would.
After a moment he needed more. He released her br**sts and reached down, cupping her behind her knees and pulled her legs up. She didn't hesitate in wrapping her legs around his waist and he sure as hell didn't waste any time in shifting until his erection was pressed against her center.
Even through multiple layers that separated them he could feel her heat. He couldn't remember ever wanting a woman more than he wanted her at that moment. He ground himself against her as he swallowed her moan of pleasure.
She ran her hands over his back and ass, encouraging him on and he knew by the sounds of her breathing and the way she dug her nails into his back that she was close and god help him, but so was he. It wouldn't be enough. Not nearly enough, he thought as he pulled her away from the wall and placed her on the edge of the kitchen table. He needed to be inside of her.
He reached for her pants button when he heard her front door open. They both went completely still.
"Joe? Look, I can't stand you being mad at me so I brought you another milkshake."
The moment he pulled away from her, reality crashed in over them like a bucket of cold water and they both realized they'd just f**ked up.
Chapter 16
"Are you going to share that with me?" Nathan asked, pouting.
"No," she said, sighing as she took a big bite out of her fried dough. She didn't really want it, but she needed something to do in order to distract herself from the colossal mess she'd made out of her life.
"Cheap," Nathan mumbled, throwing her a little pout that had her rolling her eyes.
"You can have some of mine, Nathan," Caitlyn said, smiling sweetly up at Nathan.
"Thank you," Nathan said, looking a little uncomfortable as he accepted a bite of her fried dough. Caitlyn must have noticed it too, because her smile slipped a notch.
She just barely stopped herself from slapping him upside his head. What the hell was wrong with him? Caitlyn was smart, funny, sweet and kind and he was pushing her away. He did this so often that she knew the signs by heart now.
Right now he was distancing himself from Caitlyn and in a week she'd be gone from the picture. In another month or two he'd find another woman that was just as perfect for him and he'd be happy until whatever stupid notion he allowed to take over his common sense had him pushing that one away too. She wanted to scream at him and slap some sense into him, but she honestly didn't know where to start.
"I-I'm going to go get a drink. Does anyone else want one?" Caitlyn asked, shifting uncomfortably.
"No, thank you," Joe said, throwing Caitlyn what she hoped was a warm smile.
"I'm all set," Nathan said absently as he watched the teams of firefighters run a relay race with rolled up hoses.
"Okay," Caitlyn said softly as she turned and walked away.
"Do we need to send you to therapy?" she asked when Caitlyn was out of hearing distance.
He frowned down at her. "No. Why?"
She rolled her eyes as she gestured towards Caitlyn's retreating back. Nathan followed her gesture and sighed.
"It's just not working out," he said with a shrug.
"Then tell her that instead of dragging this out. It's not fair to her."
"I will," was all he said and she had to ball her hands into fists to stop herself from choking some sense into him. What the hell was wrong with him that he couldn't even see what was right in front of him? How the hell could he push someone who was obviously perfect for him away like that?
The man needed his ass kicked. That's really all there was to it.
"What's going on with you two?" Nathan asked, gesturing towards the row of ambulances lined up for the EMS competition. She spotted Eric leaning against the ambulance, shirtless of course, talking to an equally shirtless Dave, the EMT that took her spot, but the sight of Dave didn't send her heart racing, make her palms sweat or confuse the hell out of her.
After their momentary lapse in sanity he hadn't said one single word to her. He simply stepped away from her and went to her bedroom to get dressed, leaving her sitting on the table, confused, aching and furious. Of course the milkshake Nathan brought her had helped calm her down. It really was too bad they weren't selling them here because she could really use one right about now.
By the time Eric reappeared he was dressed and wouldn't make eye contact with her for which she'd been immensely grateful. She'd never been more embarrassed in her life than in that moment. He kissed her and what had she done? She'd turned into Super Ho and practically swallowed his tongue and rubbed against him.
She still couldn't believe it happened and if there was any doubt in her mind then the way her ni**les tightened and tingled every time she thought of him was proof enough. It didn't help that she couldn't stop thinking about him and what almost happened. It didn't matter that she'd always been attracted to him. He was her best friend and she didn't want to lose that.
When he kissed her she should have put a stop to it and pulled away and laughed it off like she did when they were fourteen. But had she done that? Oh no, not her. She practically swallowed his tongue and was seconds away from begging him to screw her on the kitchen table before Nathan thankfully came by.
Now they weren't talking. They'd never gone a day without talking, but not one word from him over the past three days. Then again she wasn't exactly reaching out and trying to connect with him either. For the past of couple of days she'd been screening all her calls and avoiding all his usual haunts. If Nathan and Caitlyn hadn't showed up and bugged the hell out of her until she gave in and let them drag her here to the Fireman's Muster she'd still be avoiding him.