“Shut the f**k up you soft dicked cur!” Lump spat. “How dare you talk to my friends, or about my friend, that way! What the f**k is wrong with you?”
John’s eyes must have changed, because Lump stepped forward to meet the challenge. Then she hesitated fractionally. Her dress and shoes were not good for this sort of thing, and she knew it.
William forgotten, John faced off to Lump. “Soft dicked cur did you call me? I don’t even know what a cur is, but you weren’t complaining about my dick the other night.”
He sauntered forward, all cocky pride, choosing to pick on the dressed up lady instead of all the big men. I’d never met such a coward. And that was saying something.
“Oh, sorry, you’re right.” Lump paused when John smiled triumphantly. “Tiny, soft dicked cur, I should have said. You weren’t much better than nothing, and if I knew where a dildo shop was around here, I wouldn’t have bothered. It’s a mistake I won’t make again. And a cur is a coward, or a mangy dog. Take your pick you f**king cunt.”
“Holy Christ,” I heard someone say.
John had had enough. He was ready to fight, and his target was chosen. He was preparing to strike a woman. It was the first time Lump had ever dated someone that wanted to beat her up. Often a man would wander into her fists by getting grabby on the dance floor, but she never brought a savage around. This was a first. And it was testimony to how off she was these days.
Plus, what an idiot John was. Did he think a bunch of guys would stand around while another guy beat on a girl? The whole situation was beyond ridiculous.
Lump turned to Adam and softly said, “Adam, I can’t do much in these shoes.”
“Say no more,” Adam replied quietly, his eyes on John. “I’ll take out the trash. Willie, I might need a hand. Moose, get the girls clear. Brad, stop looking so scared.”
There was some laughter behind John, which made him half turn to see if anyone was laughing at him. That’s when it all happened. Adam rushed, quick as lightening. He spun John, then reached around to get him in a full nelson, arms around head and neck.
John bucked, throwing kicks haphazardly, landing a shot to Lump, and one to Moose. Lump, just like Adam said, got caught on her dress and stumbled on her heels before succumbing to gravity and toppling backward onto me.
Moose got kicked again, trying to protect Lump, but this time it was near the groin area. He let out a whoosh of breath, bending to cover the soft part of himself. William executed a perfect dead leg, making John yell out, the kicking with his right leg stopping.
Adam got the full nelson in action and lifted the smaller man off the ground. John tried to backwards head butt, but Adam just leaned his face back so John hit chest before his air started to get cut off.
I saw the ceiling after that for a while. Moose had fallen on Lump, moaning and rocking. Lump was entangled in my dress and necklace. I was yelling at her not to move or she might hurt me or break things. Or worse, rip my dress, which would be more than a little embarrassing on the way out.
I saw Adam carrying the top half of John, William the other half. Jim, one of the friends, was walking them out.
I let my head and arms fall against the floor as Lump tried to instruct a crowd of boys to be useful. She apparently needed Moose hauled up in a certain way so as not to expose her crotch.
I could barely breath with all the weight, but for some reason, it didn’t seem to matter. My head was starting to get light.
“Up ya git,” God said from the heavens.
“I always thought God would have a deeper voice,” I muttered, feeling my body lifted by a few corporal hands.
“What’d she say?” God said. Deaf fecker. Which explained the unanswered prayers…
I couldn’t explain why that was so funny.
I fixed and adjusted my br**sts and chest, trying to get everything tucked in. It was hard, because someone was trying to cover me with a jacket. Which made it funnier for some reason. Laughter was bubbling out of me, making me slightly dizzy as well as hazy.
In another world I saw Lump lean down to Moose. Her dress was intact and shootes made it through.
Did I just think shootes? Shoez? Shhhoooooeeeeezzzz—what a funny word.
“You okay, Jessica?”
Lump was unnaturally close.
“Oh sure, not a problem. Our dresses still look great, Lump. Betz. I think it is really cute that Adam calls you Betz. And everyone else started. He is really a nice guy, you know. You should be friends.”
“Are you hurt or anything?”
“Don’t think so. Hit my head, but it is made of wood, so that doesn’t matter. She’s a witch!” I laughed.
Why did I feel so drunk? I’d only had three beers on a full stomach, so drunk was impossible. All the pandemonium probably.
Big word. I giggled.
“And some of Lump’s drink.” Did I just say that out loud? “Doooode, I’m hammered! Ha ha ha. Lump, your drink is intense. What is it? Cran and vodka, right? Is there crack in that cran? Ha ha ha.”
“Jessica...” She leaned into me, her eyes studying mine closely.
“I don’t do girls, Lump. Lump-a-Dump.”
I saw the hottest guy in the world walking in. “William! FYI, Moose’s sex life just went down the drain for a couple days. The pipes ‘r all twisted. Someone should warn the girlfriend. Side note, mine are a go. Let’s do it!”
“Jessica,” William said quizzically. “What’s wrong with you?”
Adam walked up next and stopped when William got that edge to his voice that said something wasn’t right with me.
“ADAM!” I yelled. “You should seriously hook up with my friend Lump. You remember her? Pretty, big boobs. Really nice. She’s around here somewhere. She is really nice. She is probably my best friend. I love her. A-sexually. Worms are A-sexual, did you know? You can cut them in half, and they live! Crazy, right? Sucks they have to get drowned when you go fishing, though.”
I burped. Then my head spun.
“Oh,” I groaned, staggering. “Don’t feel good. Must sit down.”
William caught me before I hit the ground.
“William, I know that you will try leave me. I am no good for you. I am poor and helpless. Ful. Helpful. You too good girl like me. Perfect. I am not.... Fuck, I am drunk. I need to pass out for reals, guys. I need home to go.”
I started to get up, which looked like a beetle stuck on its back, because someone was holding me down.
“When she gets super wasted and needs to puke she is like a homing beacon,” Lump commented from atop a cloud and behind a veil. “She’ll get home somehow and usually without telling anyone.”
“Lump. Don’t tell my secrets!”
Things were not looking good for me. “What the H. E. Double hockey sticks was that drink, Lump? Are you taking drugs? You can tell me. I will help you. Need. Sit. William. Oh William. I love you. Please don’t leave me.”
“Jessica,” William said urgently, really close to my face. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I need to go home, guys.” I headed for the door. Being that I was still laying down, I think that meant I was trying to swim across the floor to get there. My vision was starting to swirl. Puking was close.
“What did you drink, Jessica? What did you take?” William sounded so scared.
“William, I’m your personal boogey-man. Scare you con-stant-en-opal. Train wreck. But I love you. I gotta go home. Need home. Please. Need cab.”
I heard Lump fairly far away. “Get her out of here. She’ll probably start throwing up.”
“What did she take, Betsy? What did you take in the bathroom?” That was William. Things were starting to warp strangely.
“Nothing William! I swear! Nothing! We don’t do drugs. She had a couple beers is all.... and some of my drink! Someone get my drink.”
“Don’t feel good,” I moaned. I tried to get up again. “I’m gonna pass out.”
I was lifted. Everything was starting to swirl. I was f**king hammered and sleepy. Christ, when is the last time I was this drunk and sick?
Chapter Nineteen
I woke up in a strange bed in the dark. I was completely disorientated. The room was moderate size and square but I couldn't see any light coming from windows, which was strange. The bed I was on was hard with scratchy sheets. I had too many of the wrong kind of pillows, which meant simply that I was on top of my pillows, rather than squished into them like I liked.
I stayed very still. I had been in this situation before. Usually with an unknown guy. But I was with William last night. Right?
With a feeling of intense dread that I did something so beyond stupid it would probably ruin my life, I thought as hard as I could about the night before. About where the hell I was. About how I got to where ever the hell I was.
Think.
There was a stale disinfectant smell that I always associated with hospitals. I looked around. My bed had bars… That's when I noticed a tube in my arm.
I panicked! This was a hospital! I sat up at once, the room swimming around me. There was a curtain off to my right, which was why I couldn't see windows. The TV in the corner, the bathroom—oh God, it was a real hospital.
All my fears from my father's slow death came back in a flood, except this time it was me in the bed. Was I dying?
I couldn't breathe. I pulled the tube from my arm, which was painful and my arm started to bleed. I tried to get out of the bed. Being as dizzy as I was didn't help. I couldn't focus long enough to navigate the sheets, bars, and horrible pillows.
"Jessica," William whispered from the corner sleepily.
"William! Get me out of here!" I cried.
"Calm down, love. You aren't hurt. You aren't dying. They'll let you out in the morning. Just go back to sleep."
"Why am I here? What happened? I want to go home." The panic wouldn't subside. A million flash backs were coming at me at once. My dad's sickly yellow skin color. The smell and feel of his clothes when I finally had to pull them from that hospital closet after he passed. His skeleton-like face toward at the end.
I was crying and shaking my head no. "I want out of here. I want out of here!"
William climbed into the bed with me. It was a squeeze, but I didn’t care.
"You gotta calm down, baby. You're not hurt. You were slipped a roofie. Well, actually, Lump was slipped a roofie, and you got the benefit of it. "
"What? Why would someone slip—was it that douche?"
He chuckled. "Yes, it was John. After we took you outside I beat on him until he told me. Good thing the officer that showed up was a family friend..."
"But...why? They had already… you know…"
"Well...it's starting to look like he drugged her then, too. She doesn't know for sure, but she remembers being at his house for a couple glasses of wine, she hadn't eaten all day, and the next thing she knew she was drunk. She doesn't even remember the actual sex, but figured the next morning she just went further than she’d intended. Apparently she has bad taste in men..."
"Always has had, yes. She is so used to guys that fight all the time because of her family that she goes for violent idiots then makes bad choices. She has never been roofied, though. Me, either. It sucks! Do you know if...if they...well, if he used... protection?"
"I didn't ask—that is more information then I care to hear, Jess, but she blurted out that she saw a used...you know...on the ground the next day. She needs to hang around men more—girlfriends might share everything, but her men friends do not want to hear it."
He turned up his nose in disgust. I hugged onto him and burrowed myself into his arm and chest. There we stayed, him not as comfortable as he could have been, me hating my surroundings and wanting to leave immediately. Once asleep, though, we stayed that way until a nurse woke us up in the morning.
Once again, I showed up at Gladis's house with another story to tell. She was starting to think I was danger prone. Moose was convinced that I was the reason a guy should never marry a girl that is too pretty. Too much drama.
He then made me promise not to tell his girlfriend when he realized how the comment came out. While sweet, it did make me think about the bad news that had befallen me since I moved here. It seemed it was just one big, dramatic thing after another.
Lump was the bearer of apologies. I, in turn, was the model of forgiveness. I told her to stop bringing tools around, though. Stop dating them full-stop, actually. Yeah, Adam might be scary from time to time—or, one time—but he didn't hit and he certainly didn't date rape. He even had the opportunity to go all the way with permission and he didn't take the chance. Not many guys could boast that.
Lump agreed, but made me promise not to mention Adam any more. It wasn't going to happen, so stop embarrassing her, him, and myself. I threw a “but” in there, but was silenced with a no-nonsense look.
Fine.
After that episode it was a waterfall of dating. Lump had a new guy every week almost. Often she was dating a couple guys at a time, not sleeping with any one until they were together for at least two weeks, which only happened once.
A few were really good looking, some not so much. Some were overly nice, some hard asses. Some had manners, some must have been bread amongst pigs. No two were alike. Everyone was always really nice to the dates, but no one got too aquatinted knowing the man of the week would inevitably be replaced.
Winter rumbled in and Christmas loomed. It was starting to get nervous about what I would get William for Christmas. I wasn’t in to arts and crafts, so wouldn’t be making anything, and he didn’t need someone to buy him anything. It was the conundrum that was always on my mind.