“I don’t know if you do or don’t; I don’t know you that well. You looked like you wanted to hit me. I was ready.”
Now it was Adam that was struggling to control his anger. “No. You don’t know nothin’ about me. You ain’t even tried to get to know me. Do you think all men hit women?”
“No.”
“So...” Adam turned slowly, deliberately, and put his beer down. He turned back just as slowly, balanced on the balls of his feet, towering over Lump, his body language aggressive. “You just think I hit women. That it? Not most men. Just me?”
Lump’s voice went deathly quiet. “You look like you want to hit me right now.”
I would have been shitting myself if a guy that big was standing over me like that, but Lump looked completely at ease. Not a worry in the world.
“Your fists are balled,” she continued in that same flat voice. “Every muscle on your over six foot frame is taut. Your eyes are pure rage, except for a tiny bit of fear. You are quivering from the exertion of remaining in control, and I bet your gen**als are half erect from the surge in adrenaline and testosterone.
“You might not think you would hit a woman, though from the look of this very moment I think you might surprise yourself, but you are trying to bully me with your physical presence. That, Adam, gives me the impression you would hit me.”
Now she had the upper hand. And she was right.
Unlike Adam, she didn’t wait for a reply. “I should not have hit you last night. It was dangerous for us both. I am sorry. It was not my intention to physically hurt you without cause. I sincerely apologize.”
I could see she meant it. Despite his desire to get under her skin, despite the way he was handling this situation, she truly meant that apology. It would be easy for a person to lose sight of that intent with a man trying to intimidate her, especially a man Adam’s size, but she didn’t waver. She was, successfully, the bigger person here; she was walking away without a fight.
She turned and walked toward the door leading outside. I hurriedly followed. Adam didn’t notice me, or notice William who finally realized there was a problem and came over. He watched Lump walk away, nothing changing in his demeanor but his eyes.
I would have loved to observe more closely, but Lump was walking really fast. I had to jog in high heels to catch up.
I met up with her on a bench under a big Willow tree. There was a pond fairly close that looked regularly tended since there weren’t any weeds or moss growing all over the place. It would have been a great place to spend the afternoon reading a book, or having a picnic.
I needed to remember that. I also needed to remember about those secret passageways!
Mental lists put aside, I once again secured myself in the present. Lump, sitting still and looking straight ahead at nothing, didn’t generally like to be touched when her dander was up, so I sat close and looked at the pond. She would speak when she was ready. Jane joined us a second later. She sat next to Lump on the other side, looking at the pond as well. She had an extra beer that she put at Lump’s feet.
We all sat there, quiet, for about ten minutes. Claire stuck her head outside to see if she should come sit with us. I could tell Flem was right behind her asking her questions because she was slightly moving her mouth and muttering. I shook my head. If Lump hadn’t talked yet, more people would make the whole process only take longer.
Claire backed away, pushing the hidden Flem as she did so. I could hear them arguing, but then it quieted down again.
Another ten minutes of nothing but crickets chirping. It was actually kind of peaceful. It would be a wonderful spot to lay on a blanket and look at the stars with William.
Focus.
I was just about to suggest that Jane and I leave when then the unthinkable happened: Lump started to sob. I looked over at her in awe. Jane was looking at her as if she had just seen a ghost. In all my years as Lump’s friend, which must be going on ten years by now, I had never, never, seen her cry.
And now she was sobbing. Her body racking, her face screwed up, her hands at her sides; sobbing.
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t. I didn’t know what to do. Oh God, I was panicking.
This must be what guys felt like.
Jane hugged her, with more woman instinct than I had. When she didn’t get thrown off I followed suit.
“He—he...he scared me!” Lump cried and hiccupped at the same time. “He is so big and, and...and angry!” Her body heaved and snot and tears dripped from her face.
Jane produced tissues from her bra. God bless tiny boobed women!
Lump caught her snot, but didn’t give a damn about the tears. Her body still shook.
“I thought he was going to hit me! He is so—so...” She shuddered with sobs. “BIG! And stro—strong.”
More sobs. More snot. A few hiccups.
“Lump,” I tried to console, “you could have averted his punch if he tried. You could have gotten away. He wouldn’t have been able to hurt you.”
She cried harder. “I don’t know. He is fast. He was so, so...angry. So mad.” She gasped for breath. “I didn’t know if he would hit me. He is faster. I didn’t know what would happen. I have never been so scared!” She was uncontrollably crying now. Deep, racking sobs that shook the whole bench, and Jane and I with it.
“But Lump,” Jane tried, “you have had guys try to hit you before. You had two guys try to kidnap you once, remember? They tried to get you in a car? You put them both in the hospital.”
She shook her head. “No! They were idiots! Adam could really hurt me. He co—could overcome me. I don’t, don--” She gasped for breath, wiped at some snot. Jane produced more tissue.
“I don’t think I would have made it long. Not against--” She started crying louder and harder. “He is so strong and angry. So full of ra—rage.”
My turn again, desperately trying to talk rationale to get her calmed down. “You have had your crazy, giant brother try to beat you up. Kill you probably. And he knew more martial arts and fighting and stuff than you did. You fought him off.”
“I kne--knew him. He was trained, had rules. I knew--” Sob, wheeze, snot wipe, swallow. “...knew what he might do. Adam is so...wi--wild!” Racking sob. She shook her head. “He hates me.”
I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t think Adam would ever hit anyone, but if he scared Lump this bad, maybe there was something dark in him I didn’t see. If Lump knew something about people, it was how to tap into their dark side and see if the demons lurking there were dangerous.
I looked at Jane. She shrugged back. We hugged tighter and stroked her hair and back. Lump was still crying, but I thought it wasn’t as bad as before. I wanted to rock her, but with three people on a bench, that might not be doable.
I heard quarreling by the door. It was a man and Flem and Claire. They were probably listening to the whole thing and now trying to bar William, or maybe even Adam, from coming out. I then distinctly heard William tell someone to get out of the way. He sounded mad and forceful. He only got like that when it really mattered. Or when I got lost in the ghetto.
Would this be boys against girls? I knew for a fact William would not hurt me, and I was pretty sure Adam was harmless, too, but Lump was in crazy-ville and there was no telling what she would do. I would have to be the road-block on this one. No one would hurt little ol’ me—not even Lump. Still, I wasn’t looking forward to it.
Sure enough, William barged through the door, Adam directly behind him.
“Fuck!” I heard Jane mutter. Lump looked up and saw what was happening.
“Jane, take Lump elsewhere. Get her cleaned up. I’ll head them off.” I stood.
“Got it,” Jane responded.
“I’m fine.” Lump was deathly calm again. I now knew this was probably terrified calm, but not surrendering. Strong woman. She would have probably killed Dusty had our roles been switched.
She did not move, even when Jane and I were trying to lift her up.
William slowed down until he was beside Adam, who was purposely striding out to us. He had a look of determination on his face. When he got close enough to see faces through the dark, he looked at Lump’s face and stopped dead. Disbelieve overcame determination
She stood, squared her shoulders and jaw, and lifted her head. Her body no longer quivered. She looked like a woman accepting her fate. Like she would fight against terrible odds.
It broke my heart.
Alice in Wonderland meets cage fights. It was a fitting end to a screwed up day.
Flem and Claire were running behind and saw that Lump had been crying. I heard a “What the f**k?” from Claire, and a sudden intake of breath from Flem.
Then things got weirder. For some reason Flem took Lump crying as an act of violence. She put herself between Adam and Lump and soundly slapped Adam in the face.
He didn’t move—he was still staring at Lump with an unreadable expression.
Lump screamed for them to stop. She obviously thought Adam would explode.
Jane and I were in the way and wouldn’t let her pass. Adam let the girls hit and kick him while he looked up at Lump again with confusion and intense guilt. A look you might have if you killed your kitten in a fit of anger.
I’d called the wrong person Lennie when I’d first met these guys. It wasn’t Moose at all.
William grabbed the girls, one in each hand, and dragged them away. The girls changed their attack targets, not really knowing what was going on. Now I was yelling at them to stop when I saw Adam coming through us for Lump.
“No!” I yelled. “Adam, don’t hurt her. Adam! What is happening with you? Leave her alone!” I was pleading by the end.
His voice was shaking when he said, “Jessica, please move. I won’t hurt her.”
I was still nervous, but Jane and I let him pass.
Madness. All of this was madness. I no longer knew up from down.
Lump was still standing in her pose from earlier. She was calm, but looked shaky nonetheless. It looked like she was confronting a demon with no hope of salvation.
Too much alcohol and emotion for any sort of normality from the lot of us. Add in boys to a wild group of females and a shit storm ensues.
Adam took two big strides and was directly in front of Lump in seconds. She looked up at him with caution and steadfast determination.
Once in front of her, he slowly, ever so slowly, reached his arms out wide, giving her ample room to withdraw if she needed to. Still moving at a snail’s pace, he reached his arms around her. She tried to step back but couldn’t because of the bench. It was like a rabid animal that was cornered. She looked at all escape routes and decided on one when we all heard, “I will not hurt you, Betsy. I will never, ever hurt you. Please, please believe me. I behaved badly. Horribly. Like my father would have. I swore I wouldn’t never be like him. I crushed a beautiful flower, just like he did. Please...” he begged.
I couldn’t see his face, but I could swear he was crying. I bet that was a first, too.
“Please, Betsy.” He was not saying her name to be an ass this time. He wanted to connect with her. Begging to connect with her. To be forgiven.
His hands were nearly around her now. Moving ever so slowly. She looked up into his eyes, tears gleaming, her body quivering. His arms closed, and he brought her to him. She bowed her head and let him.
He hugged her fiercely. “You were right,” he was saying. “Everything you said about my mannerism was right. I did want to hit you, Jesus help me. I did. I was bullying you. Like you was a man. Like you could fight back.
“Lord, Betz. You could. You can fight back. I ain’t never been hit so effectively by any man. Or bull. If there weren’t a door there, you woulda dropped me. Timber, straight the ground.”
Adam shook his head. He was definitely crying. She was crying. I was crying. We were all crying.
“I wouldn’t’ve though, Betz. Please believe that. I would not have hit you. I would not have hurt you. I wouldn’t never, never hit a woman. Never!” he said this with such venom it surprised me he had it in him.
He hugged her and rocked her, burying his head in her hair. “I came out here to apologize. You had me pegged, don’t ya see? I was even...you know...hard. Kinda. That made me feel sick. To realize that, and you knowin’ it ‘n all. How disgusting—picking on a smaller person. I ain’t like that. Lord, I ain’t never been like that. My dad was, though. He did that to my mom. To me. To my whole family. I was the only one that could fight back when I was grown. Rich family, never raised no fuss, tryin’ to hide it, but he would get drunk and mean.”
I even think William was squeezing out a tear or two. This was awful. I knew I should walk away, but couldn’t. I was hypnotized by his testimony. I suddenly realized I had never seen his family. He obviously had moved very far away from them.
“You scared me,” Lump squeaked out.
Adam squeezed tighter. He turned her around, sat on the bench, and sat her on his lap. He laid her against his chest like she was an infant, and she promptly started bawling. He put his head in her hair again and rocked her. I heard him say he was sorry over and over again.
I felt William’s hand on my shoulder. I turned to him and let him put his arms around me.
“Let’s give them some space,” he said quietly. “She’s in safe hands, now.”
I nodded mutely.
Everyone went back to their rooms after that. Ami and Gladis saw us all coming in, William beat to hell from Flem and Claire losing their minds and trying to protect Lump, everyone crying, some of our clothes scuffed with snot and things all over it. I think Claire half fell in the pond. She stunk.