“Alright, well,” I said, pretending the game was the deciding factor, “maybe we’ll just head to Gladis’s and try on all our stuff. Meet me there later?”
“Sure,” William said, staring at the TV.
Lump was walking before I’d even finished my sentence. I wanted to talk to her about it, but she had one of those looks of concentration that meant she was figuring things out. If I asked she’d probably get all pissy and then the fashion show would be ruined, too, so I quietly followed and drove us home. Boo!
In the next three weeks I had seen Adam once, which was the one time I was with William without Lump. We were out for dinner and Adam met us at the restaurant. He didn't say a word about why he had been absent and would always change the subject when I asked. The guy could be elusive as all hell when he wanted to.
Lump, for her part, never mentioned the scene at the bar, and never brought up his name. Not once. Not even in passing. She wasn’t rude about it. If his name came up by William, me or anyone else, she would politely listen, but would not participate. Not even if I asked her what she thought. She’d just shrug and say she didn’t know him well enough to comment. The end.
Besides her issues with Adam, though, Lump got along great with all William’s friends. She was lively and fun while still her normal easy-going self. She got along as one of the guys, but glammed it up like one of the girls. She was the yin to my yang, and I was so damn happy she was around that my face hurt from smiling all the time.
The only worry was that my friend was not finding her groove. Sure, she joked around and smiled often, but she was missing something. She felt bad that she was taking me away from William, which was stupid because he got more time to for sports and never complained, but it meant she spent more time alone. She couldn't seem to find a job she wanted to settle into, being picky for the first time in her life, and grew increasingly listless. Gladis even started making some calls to friends to see if she could find a good fit. Everything seemed to be topsy-turvy for Lump.
Until John.
John was an average guy from Chicago. He apparently trained in the same class of Muoy Thai kickboxing. They went to class at about the same time and were in the same level. Apparently it was an instant match, though Lump never exactly specified why.
Being that William and I were strong armed into a double-date, we found ourselves sitting with Gladis in the parlor, awaiting Lump’s new squeeze.
“Are you nervous?” I asked with a grin.
Lump was looking fabulous in a slinky red dress and matching lipstick. I gave her Ami’s necklace to borrow, until Gladis one-upped me and gave her bigger jewels. Which she tried to decline. Until a maid chased her around.
“Um…I guess,” Lump said, shrugging.
“A young lady should never say ‘um’, Betsy. It makes her seem dense,” Gladis corrected.
“I am dense, right Willie?” She smirked.
The doorbell rang and immediately Lump was chased from the room with a shocked face. I don’t think she realized how serious Gladis was about this step in dating.
In walked Romeo. He walked like a panther cub. There was grace there, but it was lost on a natural clumsiness due to growing into one's limbs. This guy was way past growing pains, though, so he just looked odd. And short. No way was he taller than Lump.
“Hey,” he said, kind of flopping to a stop. His gaze took in my cle**age, then my legs.
William shifted forward, arm extended. “I’m William. Nice to meet you.”
Speaking of dense, that flat down gaze didn’t have much behind it as he sized up William and completely ignored Gladis.
Not good.
“This place is nice, huh? This Lump-O’s money?” The guy rocked back on his heels with his hands in his pockets.
“Please, have a seat,” Gladis said, her mouth a thin line. "Betz, the woman you call Lump-O, will be down shortly. She is finishing up. Would you like something to drink?"
Adam had been calling her Betz since that night. Gladis, finding out her real name, took to it as well.
Except when Gladis was being devilish. Or crabby. Then it was Betsy.
William tried to adopt it, too, and I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I would not do a thing to stop Lump punching him in the sternum when she got pissed off. I don’t think he took me seriously, but he did continue to call her Lump. For now.
"Good,” the hopefully nice guy said. “Well, yeah, whatd'r y'all drinkin'?" It was obvious he wasn't from the south by his lack of accent. Therefore, his use of southern slang sounded stupid.
He sounded like a tool. I hoped it was just because he was nervous, or else why would Lump find this guy appealing? Where was this exact match she spoke of? It couldn’t be that William just spoiled me, because I had seen the guys Lump usually dated. They were more attractive, smarter, and all around better. And they weren’t all that great as far as good guys went. So… WTF?
"So, Will, you're a big guy, huh?"
"I would guess I am." William was unimpressed.
"Yeah, you are pretty big. How much you bench?"
"I don't, generally."
"What's that haus?"
"I don't lift weights."
"That a fact? You look big. Steroids?"
"Uh... No, actually. I work on a farm. I get all my exercise there and through pick up football games now and again."
"Uh huh. Farm boy, huh? Hm." He turned to me. "How about you? You into Muoy Thai like your friend Lumpy?"
I shook my head. "I am a gym go’er and a dancer. Not much into hitting people."
"Too bad. I would love to get you in the rink." He looked down my body and gave me a crawling sensation. William didn't move a muscle, but I could tell he'd just lost his sense of humor; it had something to do with him holding his breath and clenching his teeth.
Thankfully Lump chose that time to come downstairs on legs for days, to meet a weasel of a man. I wasn’t a great judge, and I could admit that, but from my perspective the groove she thought she found was a bit lopsided.
And then her date whistled at her. Like she was a street walker.
The incredulous look on William’s face was actually quite funny. I would have laughed if I wasn’t worried about the look of murder on Gladis’s. She was not above throwing things, as Lump and I found out the hard way. I was worried that the bottle of wine might end up alongside this moron’s head!
“Betz,” Gladis said, scowl smoothed over into a pleasant, though sardonic, smile “ your date was just telling us he would like to get your female friend in the rink.”
Lump looked at me with a shock of jealousy. Odd. And completely unlike her. I put my hand in William’s.
“I told him I didn’t like to hit people,” I said calmly.
“We could train her, Lumpy.,” John intoned.
“She isn’t one for fighting,” Lump replied blandly. “Should we go?”
Everyone mutely nodded. John quickly drank the last of his drink and followed Lump out. I kept my face blank, like William was doing, and winked at Gladis. She shook her head and told us to have fun.
Lump and John took us to a crappy steakhouse. John drove an old SUV of some sort that was boxy and uncomfortable, but who was I to judge? I was a kept woman by the friend of my boyfriend. I didn’t really have a pot to piss in.
He blared rock tunes the whole way there, though, making conversation impossible. The only thing we could do was focus on the ride. And strangely, having talked to him for that short time, I was fine with being jostled like I was in a sack over someone’s shoulder.
Once there, William reached the door first and held it open for everyone. The first to enter was none other than John. He nearly pushed Lump out of the way to get in. Memories! I had to remember to remind Lump about that idiot Johnny. He totally did the same thing one time! Ha!
Of course, it was only funny now because I had a great guy with manners. It probably wasn’t all that funny to Lump-O.
After Lump made it through, I stopped in the doorway and offered William to go in, as a joke. Face in dead pan, he jumped in front of me, making sure to gently push me out of the way, and tried to close the door in my face.
“Ass!” I shouted. William slowed down immediately with a satisfied smirk and lifted his arm so I could duck under. He let his hand rest on the small of my back as we walked in.
The place was a mediocre, at best. The atmosphere was non-existent and noisy. Plants were fake, waiters were bitter, and the décor was weird. For the first time that night I saw that Lump had a crinkle in her nose. She wasn’t used to expensive places, but L.A. had great cuisine and one rarely went to a chain on a date. In some neighborhoods, finding a chain restaurant was a chore. This place wouldn’t stand up to her scrutiny.
Now I knew what my face looked like with Randall! We were definitely high-maintenance! Poor William.
The indifferent hostess seated us in a booth in the back. We ordered a bottle of wine to split and everyone chose steaks. It was then that the conversation started. Unfortunately.
“So... John. What is it you do?” I asked politely.
“Sales.”
“Oh? What kind of sales?”
“I sell products on the open market.”
“Uh huh. Hmmm.” I nodded like I knew what that meant, suspecting it meant nothing.
“What do you do for fun?” William tried.
“Muoy Thai, baby!”
“John is one of the best in the class,” Lump informed us proudly.
“Little Lump-O here can hold her own. Most girls aren’t worth shit. But Lumpy can handle herself. And me!” He ended that comment suggestively.
“Ew,” I mumbled.
“Will.” John looked across the table, straightening up as he did so. “We should get in the ring. Throw some punches around. I would like to see what a big guy like you can do.”
Chapter Eighteen
William smiled politely. “I am not much of a fighter, I’m afraid.”
“No, huh?” Did John just preen a little? Confidence boost, maybe? “Well, maybe we can bring it out of ya. Throw the fists around and see what happens.” It sounded like he was suggesting playing catch.
“Maybe,” William said in a noncommittal tone. He would not be baited, thank God.
The food arrived quickly. I thanked God for that also.
I was trying desperately to give this guy another chance. Sure, he sounded like the biggest tool alive, he was acting like a tool, he smelt like a cheap tool, but maybe he wasn’t, in fact, a giant tool. Or douche. Or useless pile...
I had to look away from the food rolling around in his mouth. It was hard, though, because he was making smacking noises.
We painfully got through dinner, Lump trying as hard as William and I to get a topic that everyone could agree on. It apparently didn’t exist. This guy didn’t have a broad scope of knowledge. He frankly seemed fairly stupid. And violent.
When the bill came William reached for it smoothly. John did not. Instead, John took out some twenties and pushed them across the table at William. “That ought to cover Lumpy and I.”
Lump looked apologetically at William, keeping her eyes directed away from me. Wise.
“I’d be honored,” William said, shaking his head at the wad of bills.
John looked surprised, but took his money back quickly, thanking “good Will Hunting.”
When we were back in the car I was about to make up some excuse to have to go home early, but William said, “I have some friends that are at a bar not far from here if anyone would like to go?”
Lump agreed and John just shrugged. It wasn’t as awesome as just going home, but hopefully I wouldn’t have to talk to this nincompoop once we got there.
Walking into the bar all eyes turned to Lump and I. We had been expecting a classy meal and dressed appropriately. William as well, but when men dressed up, they rarely showed leg and cle**age. Hence, he didn’t stand out as much in a bar with jeans and sweaters.
So yeah, we were a tad over-dressed. Sore thumbs in a sea of manicures.
I turned to William in outrage. “You--! We are going to stick out here!”
William had a shit eating grin. “Is it my fault I wanted to show off the two fine-looking ladies I had the pleasure of accompanying to dinner, in a place where they would feel like diamonds among rocks?”
Lump looked back at him with a smile. John looked back with thunder clouds.
“Cute,” I said, looking away with a huff.
“What?” he asked exaggeratedly. “Besides,” he quietly whispered to me, “we don’t have to talk to that guy and we can get a cab from here. I don’t trust him.”
“Trust him how?” I whispered back.
“He keeps sizing me up. I doubt he goes many places without starting a fight. Firstly, I didn’t want to be the one fighting. Second, I didn’t want to have to bail him out of anything by default. Including jail.”
I nodded as we walked. I still would rather have just gone home.
Moose saw us walk in. With a smile, he stood up.
John stopped mid-stride, making Lump crash into him.
William easily stepped in front and clapped Moose on the back. “Moose, you remember Lump?”
“Of course,” Moose said in good humor. He stepped up to hug her. “You look beautiful tonight, Betz.”
“Thanks, Moose. You look like shit, as always.”
“I’ll have to tell Jasmine. She dresses me these days.”
“You can dress up a goat, but, in the end, he is still a goat.”
“Oh man!” Moose laughed, putting his hand over his heart in mock pain. “You’re worse than Jessica!”