Deacon breezed on past me, placing the bag on the coffee table, along with the bottle of Coke. Closing the door, I exhaled softly and then turned—
Suddenly, Deacon was right in front of me and his arms were around me. One second I was just standing there and the next, my face was plastered against his surprisingly hard chest, my nose buried in the loose, long-sleeve shirt. And he was hugging me, really hugging me. Not one of those lame, weak ones that made you feel like the other person was frail. No, this was a hearty one, and God . . . Gods, it almost broke me all over again.
“I . . .” I didn’t know what to say. Tears clogged my throat again, cutting off my words and all I could whisper was, “I’m s-sorry.”
“You don’t apologize,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of my gross, greasy head, unlocking best friend status.
I folded my arms around his slender waist and squeezed my eyes shut. “Seth. He . . . he said everything was a mistake. We—” My breath caught. “That we were a mistake.”
His arms tightened around me.
“I . . . I love him,” I said, shaking. “I love him, Deacon.”
“I know,” Deacon said, and his hug became my everything. “I know.”
CHAPTER 12
“You’ve done very well today, Josie.” Laadan stood with her back to the sun, her long dark hair pulled up in a neat bun. The ballerina kind of bun, which was something I couldn’t pull off if my life depended on it. My hair currently looked like a bird was nesting in it. She smiled at what must’ve been my doubtful expression, and the smile was real. Kind. Warm. “It’s not second nature to you. It’s going to take some work.”
Laadan always looked elegant, though. I’d seen her around the Covenant often, typically with the Sentinel who didn’t speak—Alex’s father. She had a timeless kind of beauty, she was a pure-blood, and she had come here after the Covenant in New York was attacked during Ares’s rampage. She was good people—kind and patient.
Squinting, I shrugged as I walked over the pebble-filled dirt. A dull ache throbbed behind my eyes. “It should be second nature. I’m a demigod. I should be wielding the elements like Airbender.”
Her brow wrinkled. “I’m not sure what this Airbender is, but even pure-bloods struggle when they’re children.”
Children. When they were children. Exactly.
“She’s right,” Solos offered from where he was perched on the low wall surrounding the cemetery. “My half-sister is a full pure-blood. She controls air, and when she was little, she used to throw everything in the house around when she was in a mood.”
“When she was a kid,” I pointed out, knocking dust off my leg. “Not sure if you’ve realized it or not¸ I’m not a kid.”
“Oh, I’ve realized that,” Solos replied slyly.
Laadan shot him a look, but I rolled my eyes. Since I began training with him and Luke in the mornings, I quickly learned he was a careless flirt. He’d pretty much charm the pants off anything that wore them.
“You’re getting the hang of it,” Laadan advised, clasping her hands together, drawing my stare. She had the best nails. Neat. Trimmed into perfect ovals. Mine looked like a rat had been nibbling on them while I slept. “We’ve only been working together for four days and I’ve already seen vast improvement.”
Four days? Felt like Monday was an eternity ago.
“Yeah, you haven’t set her hair on fire recently.” Solos smiled when Laadan and I turned to him. “What? It’s the truth.”
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” I asked.
“Nope.”
Laadan arched a delicate brow. “He should be about ready to head to the Council meeting, isn’t that so?”
“Maybe.”
Her smile didn’t waver as she met his gaze. “I think ‘yes’ is the correct response.”
“Fine.” He hopped down from the wall with agile grace. As he strolled past me, he patted my shoulder. “See you in the morning.”
“Yay,” I murmured, not really able to work up the energy for a more enthusiastic response. Enthusiasm was something I was seriously lacking these days, and it had nothing to do with the headache I’d been dealing with since I woke up this morning.
Once Solos was gone, Laadan approached me and the softness in her gaze reminded me so much of my mother, of my grandmother, that for a moment, I thought the waterworks were going to get started all over again. I swallowed the tears down, pushed all the raw emotion down and closed it off.
“You really are doing well, Josie. Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay?” She placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. “You’ve been through a lot and you’ve had to cope with a lot. No one is expecting you to do anything other than what you are doing right now.”
Part of me wondered if Seth had expected more and that was why he . . . was no longer around.
Laadan paused, her gaze roaming over my face. “Have you been sleeping well?”
I nodded, even though that was a complete lie. At night, all alone, all I could think about was my mom, my grandparents, and Erin. Then, when my brain was bored with that, it moved on to Seth, and I spent hours trying to figure out what had gone wrong.
Last night I’d dreamt of Hyperion, and before, I’d always been able to fall back to sleep, because . . . because Seth had been there. I could let go of the horror those nightmares always brought. But last night I hadn’t been able to, which was probably why my head wasn’t feeling too great.