“Oh my God! You were totally eavesdropping on us. What the hell, Seth?” Anger tightened her features, and because there was obviously something wrong with me, I hardened. A pissed Josie was a very hot Josie. “You ended things with me without even telling me why. I haven’t seen you in days, and yet, here you are, listening to me talk to another guy?”
“I wasn’t listening,” I said, and immediately I realized how stupid that stance was going to be. “Not for the reasons you’re getting at.”
Her eyes narrowed. “That’s bullshit, Seth, and you know it.”
“This is stupid.” Mainly, I was stupid. I took another step back. “I don’t even know what I was thinking.”
“I don’t know what you’re thinking either. God, I wish I did, but I do know what you’re feeling.” She raised her hand and pointed at me. “You’re jealous.”
“Jealous?” I laughed. “Of him?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes. Of him. Because why else would you be hiding in the garden listening to us?”
Shit.
I really didn’t have a good response to that.
“I shouldn’t have been,” I said after a moment. Bending down, I picked up her sweater and held it out to her. “I should’ve just left you guys alone.”
Her lips parted, drawing my attention. It took no amount of effort to remember how they felt. Tasted.
I was getting harder.
She drew in a deep breath and briefly closed her eyes. “You treated Colin like crap and he didn’t deserve that. That wasn’t cool, but I’m . . . I’m glad you are here, right now.”
“Come again?”
Josie’s fingers found the end of her ponytail. She started twisting the length. “I don’t want to argue with you. Can we . . . can we talk? I mean, I want to talk to you. I think it would be good if we did and—”
“It won’t be good.”
Her brows knitted. “It can’t be any worse than this.” Her voice cracked on the last word and she quickly looked away, dipping her chin. “I . . . I miss you, Seth. I really miss you, and I lo— I just miss you so much.”
My hand tightened around her sweater. The words I miss you too burned through my tongue, scalded my entire body.
Her glistening gaze drifted back to mine. “Nothing?” she whispered, and then she let out a shaky laugh. “I just . . . want to understand what I—” Her voice shook. “I just want to know what I did wrong.”
What she did wrong? Shocked into silence, I could only stare at her. She thought she’d done something wrong? That this was on her? She hadn’t done a damn thing wrong. She was an angel.
Thick lashes lowered. “Okay. All right.” When she reopened her eyes, she was looking down. “I . . . Um, I have to go . . .” Josie’s voice trailed off and then she was hurrying away, rushing down the walkway and disappearing behind the vine-covered statues.
And I was standing there, holding her sweater in my tight grip when I wanted to be holding her.
CHAPTER 13
Josie
Whitish-red flames crackled over my knuckles, spitting tiny sparks into the air above my hand. I stared at the fire, a little awed over the fact that this was something I could create out of thin air and that I could actually control it.
And well, that was pretty damn amazing.
I wasn’t going to think about the fact that it had taken three weeks of working with Laadan to get to this point where I was now an official firestarter. Three. Long. Weeks.
Laadan was an excellent teacher and incredibly patient, even when I’d singed her eyelashes on more than one occasion. Deacon had been helping out on and off, and he wasn’t as terrible as he’d made it seem. Deacon could control fire. Marcus had been right. Working on controlling one element helped with the other three.
Two days ago was the last time I’d incorrectly summoned the wrong element, but that had been a fluke. I’d been distracted, because as I stood in front of Laadan, focusing on summoning the element of earth, I’d seen Seth on the closest walkway.
I’d accidentally knocked Laadan over.
Seth . . .
My chest ached and the flames faded out. I’d barely seen him since the day in the gardens. I couldn’t believe I’d even tried to talk to him after he’d been such a jackass, but I’d been desperate to know what had gone wrong between us. Sort of still was. What had I done wrong?
But he kept away and I didn’t give in to the urge to visit him. I’d thought that the pain would lessen as each day passed, but it hadn’t. The hurt was just as raw and brutal as day one.
But I was . . . I was going about my life. I was mastering the elements and I was getting really kick-ass at the whole hand-to-hand fighting thing, able to stand on my own against Solos and Luke. I hated myself for thinking this, because it was so lame, like the lamest of the lame, but Seth would’ve been proud if he’d seen how I’d taken Solos down yesterday, sweeping his legs right out from underneath him.
I’d done a little dance.
I’d looked like a chicken with its head cut off, but I’d rocked that dance and I was going to rub it Solos’s face every chance I got.
After practices, I avoided the garden. What once had been a brief respite from all the crap now made me feel uncomfortable, like I needed to bury my face in a pillow and never resurface. But Seth hadn’t scared off Colin.
Glancing over to where he sat, legs stretched out in front of him and his back against a tree, he was intent on whatever he was reading. On the other side, Luke was studying and Deacon, well, he was not even pretending to study. While Luke held the textbook open, pressed against his chest, Deacon had his head in Luke’s lap. For a few minutes, he’d napped. Now, every couple of seconds, he flicked his fingers off the back of the textbook. Luke had either the concentration of a cobra or the patience of a saint, because he hadn’t punched Deacon yet.