“Yes.”
I claimed a small victory at winning this round. “How could they just let you leave…? Without anywhere to go…any money…? That’s crazy.”
He ran his hands through his hair. “Yeah, I suppose it is. But they couldn’t legally hold me there anymore and I knew sitting in a hospital room wasn’t going to help me remember anything. I’d rather be out in the city, experiencing life and seeing if anything sparks a memory. Or maybe someone might even recognize me. Assuming I did live here in Chicago.”
“I guess that makes sense, but I mean, what was your plan? Sleep on a park bench tonight…and then…” I threw my hands up in the air.
“Actually, no. Before I left the hospital they gave me the address of a shelter to stay at for the night and a social worker to visit in the morning about a work program they have for rehabilitating people. I just…couldn’t follow through with it.”
I waited while he gathered his thoughts, not pushing him. Before I even realized it, my hand drifted to his and I lightly brushed the back of his hand.
He gazed up at me, surprised. “Going through with that was like admitting I was nothing, a nameless, faceless nobody. With nothing to my name and nobody who even cares. It was too much.”
“I see.” I understood just what he was saying. Sleeping overnight in a homeless shelter would be a very humbling experience. I was grateful, not for the first time, that I had happened upon him tonight. “You’re not alone.” I squeezed his hand.
He looked down at our intertwined fingers, a frown forming on his face. “There’s something we need to talk about if I’m going to stay here with you.”
I nodded obediently. “Come sit down.” I just wanted to keep him from fleeing. I couldn’t stand the guilt of thinking he was spending the night outside on a park bench.
We each pulled out a chair and sat perched at the dining room table facing each other.
He looked me straight in the eye. “I know my attraction to you has probably been obvious.”
A slow smile crept over my lips. Interesting…
“I know you could get into trouble if someone thought you were having an improper relationship with me. I need to let you know, I’m not ready to pursue anything…with anyone. So if I’m staying here with you, we’ll need to agree it’s friendship only.”
“Absolutely, of course.”
He nodded his head, solemnly, and cleared his throat, taking his time. “Thank you.” He nodded his agreement, but I could tell this conversation was far from over.
I gathered up some extra blankets from the closet and the spare pillow from my bed and set them on the sofa for him. “Hope these are okay.”
“Yes, thank you.”
I stood there awkwardly for a second, unsure what to do with myself while he looked down at me. “I think I’ll go change. Be right back.”
He nodded and watched me turn to leave. I grabbed my pajamas and headed into the bathroom. What was I doing? I had impossible conversations with myself while I stared in the mirror. Maybe it was insane to have him here in my apartment, but I couldn’t see reason or logic where Logan was concerned. My instincts told me that he could be trusted. I stripped off my jeans, shirt and bra and changed into a pair of cotton shorts and a clean white tank top. I lifted my hair off my neck and secured it in a messy bun.
I’d thought about having Logan in my bed for weeks, and now that he was here, I was a jittery mess. I knew I’d never have the courage to make the first move, and he seemed unsure about even being here, so somehow I doubted my fantasy of getting him in my bed was going to come true, especially after his little speech about us being just friends. It both frustrated and relieved me. I wasn’t one to make a first move, and my ego couldn’t handle being shot down by him. Plus, I’m sure he had bigger things on his mind, like where he was going to live, and wasn’t as sex-starved as me.
Chapter Four
I took a deep breath, pulled open the bathroom door, and headed into the living room. I expected to see him making a bed on the couch, but he was no longer there. I checked the kitchen and dining room. Both were empty.
His file lay open and scattered across the dining room table. Photos of the crime scene and an email from Professor Clancy were at the top of the pile. The email was brief, but contained a stark warning against getting involved with Logan, reiterating the violence at the crime scene. Damn it. I hadn’t intended for Logan to see these. I rushed into the hall.
Logan was retreating down the hallway, but when I called out his name, he stopped and turned to face me.
“Please.” The one word plea was all I could verbalize. It meant so many things, please stay, please don’t just leave me, please don’t be the man they say you are…
He seemed to understand on an unspoken level and began walking toward me. I met him halfway, as if drawn forward by some greater force.
“Those things in my file.” He sighed and rubbed his hands across his face. “I’m not safe. You don’t even know me.”
“I know you better than anyone. I trust you.” I knew one thing for certain; I didn’t want him to leave.
“Ashlyn…” My name on his lips was the softest sound. His gruff, deep voice was incredibly sexy.
“What?” I whispered, stepping in closer.
“About the murder…” He clenched his fists at his sides.
My stomach dropped. Oh shit. Maybe this was a terrible idea. Logan didn’t seem violent or dangerous to me, but how well did I really know him? He didn’t even know himself.