“And since they couldn’t legally hold me in the hospital anymore, I signed myself out.”
“Oh.” Oh was all I could come up with. He’d chosen to be homeless rather than stay another night in the hospital. It didn’t make any sense. “Well, do you have anywhere to go?” I reached for his forearm and he stepped back, out of my reach.
“I’ll be fine, Ashlyn. You got what you wanted for your paper. I heard Dr. Andrews say something about your thesis being nearly finished. I figured that was why you didn’t come back today. You’re free to go on with your life. Forget about me. Everyone else has,” he added under his breath.
I stepped in closer, placing my palm on his cheek. “No, Logan. You’ve got it wrong. My paper’s been done for several days. I couldn’t come tonight, but I left a message for you with the hospital staff.”
He raised his eyebrows, like he was deciding if he should believe me. “I never got a message.”
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t ditch you. Come back to my apartment for the night. We can figure things out in the morning.”
He removed my hand from his cheek, lowering it to my side. “I don’t want your pity, Ashlyn.”
“Logan, we both know there’s something between us. This isn’t pity. Please come with me. You need somewhere to sleep tonight. Let me be there for you.” Those last words seemed to soften him, because he closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded.
“Okay. If you’re sure it’s no trouble.”
I looked at the ground, my throat tight, and my stomach a bundle of nerves. “I promise it’s no trouble.”
I led Logan the few blocks to my building in silence, while the tension rolled off him in waves. I hated that he thought I’d abandoned him once I got what I needed for my paper. Couldn’t he see that it was so much more than that for me? We walked up to the third floor, which I’d grown used to and no longer left me winded. I unlocked the door, and grimaced when I remembered the state of my apartment and Liz’s warning about bringing a man home tonight. Who could have known she’d be right and that it’d be Logan? It seemed impossible, but he really was here, stepping inside my crowded one-bedroom apartment, making it look even smaller than it was with his large frame.
I flicked on the foyer light, illuminating the crazy mess that was my apartment. “Home sweet home,” I murmured, tossing my keys onto the side table.
“Wow. I can…see that.”
“And no cracks about my house keeping. Despite the mess, I know where everything is.”
He chuckled. “You don’t have people over often, do you?”
I shook my head. “Just my friend Liz. You’re the first guy I’ve had here.”
“Really?” He seemed surprised, almost unbelieving.
“Yep.” I tossed my heels in the corner on top of my mound of shoes and motioned him toward the sofa. “Have a seat. Can I get you anything? I’m going to grab myself a bottle of water.”
“Water would be nice, thanks.”
I grabbed the bottles of water from the fridge and when I returned to the living room, I found Logan standing in front of the single painting that hung on my living room wall, a rendition of Van Gogh’s “Starry Night”. His finger lightly traced the blue swirls of the sky as if he was remembering some detail. He dropped his hand and went to the sofa at the end of the room. He looming presence dominated my tiny apartment, his handsome features contrasting with the shabbiness surrounding us.
We sat down on the sofa, sipping our bottles of water. My apartment was every bit the student-on-a-budget look, cheaply furnished with hand-me-downs and furniture from Ikea. But I felt comfortable here. I had two large bookcases in the living room overflowing with classic novels and my favorite textbooks, plus various medical journals. My couch was a rich wine color with throw pillows in bright shades of lime and tangerine. The coffee table was a pale wood with enough nicks and dings to make it inviting to put your feet up on. But at the moment, neither of us seemed overly comfortable. We both perched on the edge of the sofa, with several feet separating us.
Things felt strange with him here, outside the hospital room I’d seen him in every day. It was like his every movement was magnified, his scent invading my space, his forearms tense with muscles and veins as he held the water bottle. It was hard to pay attention to anything but him.
After a few minutes of uneasy silence, Logan stood up. “Ashlyn, I think I need to be going. Being here with you isn’t a good idea. You don’t even know me.”
I didn’t point out that I probably knew him better than anyone. “Logan, I want you to stay. It’s late and we should both get some rest. You can sleep on the couch tonight, and we’ll figure everything out in the morning. I’m not letting you go anywhere. You cooperated with me for my paper, and now I want to help. In the name of research, of course.”
He let out a deep sigh, knowing I was winning this round. “So in the name of amnesia research, you’re inviting me to stay?” His voice is tinged with just a bit of humor, like mine was.
I nodded, solemnly. “In the name of science, yes, I’d like you to stay.”
He cracked a slight grin. “Then how can I say no?”
“You shouldn’t want to.”
“I don’t.”
Our conversation had too many twisted meanings and double negatives. Just his physical presence made my head spin and I couldn’t be certain we were talking about the same thing. “So you’ll stay the night?”