It’s perfect until he pulls his fingers out of me and leans back a little, letting my other leg slide down back into the water. Then I just feel cold again.
“I couldn’t resist,” he says, tucking a strand of my wet hair behind my ear. “You looked too tempting not to touch… God, I have such a hard time keeping my hands off you.”
“But what about you?” I say, putting my hand on his lean chest.
“You can pay me back later,” he says with a wink and a grin.
I smile and then he kisses me before backing away to the shore, his shorts soaking wet and hanging at his hips. Beads of water drip down his chest and tattooed side as he makes his way back to the rocks, smiling at me like he’s so happy. Just like I should be. And I am. But every perfect moment could be our last one together and that makes me sad.
After he climbs back up on the rocks, I start scrubbing my body down with water, while Ethan starts to write. I finish up quickly, then wade back to the shore and out of the water. The frigid air hits my body like a wall of snow and I scurry for the towel I hung up on a tree branch. I wrap it around me and wring my hair out before heading over to Ethan. He still has his shirt off, his wet shorts drying in the sunlight peeking through the tree branches above him. He’s got his head tipped down, his black hair falling into his eyes as he jots down words, losing touch with reality like he always does whenever he writes. I climb onto the rock beside him and sit down next to him, leaning over my shoulder to get a peek at what he’s writing, even though he never wants me to see.
“What are you writing about today?” I ask, and he jumps, like he didn’t even realize I was up here.
He hurries to finish what he’s writing and closes the journal. “Nothing important,” he says. “I was just thinking about stuff.… About going back home… returning to the city and life…” He gazes out at the pine trees to the side of us, looking really sad and lost. “We should probably get going if we want to make it back and have a little time to relax before we go back to normal life.”
“Are you sure you want to go back?” I ask, leaning back to look him in the eyes. “You seem so sad about it.”
He shrugs and when he meets my gaze, I can see his sadness deepen. “We kind of have to, don’t we?”
“Unless we want to lose our jobs,” I reply sadly, because even though I can’t wait to get back and take a real shower, I’ll also really miss my time alone with him. “I mean, Denny was understanding and everything, but he’s going to flip if I call him up and ask him for more time off.” I actually lucked out with Denny, my boss at this restaurant where I waitress. When I told him my plans for this road trip, he understood and said something about only being young once. He’s having his niece fill in for me while I’m gone and promised me I’d still have my job when I get back, but I doubt that’d be the case if I stayed away too much longer.
“Yeah, I’m supposed to start work on that house being built up on Maple Street in a week.” He sighs heavy heartedly. “I guess it’s time to return to the real world.” He pauses, assessing me. “Although…” He trails off, cracking the tiniest smile.
“What?” I ask as he stares at me with this strange look on his face. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shrugs, his smile expanding. “Because I was thinking about taking another route back home.”
“What sort of route?” I ask curiously.
He bites on the end of his pen, studying me, his eyes following the beads of water rivering from my hair down my chest. “I was thinking maybe the beach sort of route.”
My mood perks up and it seems to boost his too. “Are you being serious? You want to stop by the beach on our way home?”
He nods, his smile breaking all the way through. “Yeah… you’ve been saying how much you hate the cold and so I figured we could head down south to South Carolina and spend a day there before we head west… maybe to the beach you said you went to as a kid.”
I attempt not to smile, but I can’t help it. “I can’t believe you remembered that.”
He sets his journal aside and scoots closer to me. “How could I not?” he asks, cupping my cheek. “It was probably the only pleasant story you’ve ever told me about your childhood.”
“That’s because I went on the vacation with my friend’s family,” I tell him. “Not my own family.”
“I remember,” he says. “You said it was your favorite vacation ever.”
“It was… I actually felt happy for once… and content.” I pause. “Although, this one easily tops it.”
He gives me a questioning look. “I’m kind of surprised you said that.”
I’m baffled. “Why? I’ve been having fun and I thought you knew that.”
“I did know, but…” He struggles, shifting his weight, and then he places his hands on the tops of my thighs. “You’ve been so upset since Chicago… and then last night…” He waits for me to explain, but I still don’t feel like I want to tell him.
“It’s not because of the vacation,” I promise. “Although I’m not a huge fan of the mountains, I’m still having fun with you… everything is fun with you.”
“Then why does it seem like you’ve been upset lately?” he asks, searching my eyes for something. “Ever since we visited Ella and Micha. And you won’t talk about it.”
“Ethan…” I trail off, unsure. “I just don’t think I can talk to you about this.”
“Why not?” he asks, starting to get frustrated. “Goddammit, Lila. I wish you’d just tell me because it’s driving me crazy. You tell me a lot of things and now suddenly you won’t… it makes me think it has something to do with me.”
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t talk to you about this… I just can’t…” I’m growing worried because I can feel a fight approaching, just like the one we had back in December.
“Why not?” he asks, but there’s wariness in his voice and I wonder if he already knows what I’m thinking about.
“Because the last time I brought it up we ended up fighting,” I say quietly. “And I don’t want to fight.”