Gage stops. “He didn’t know?” He sounds almost hopeful.
“He had no idea, okay? He didn’t desert us,” I tell him, my eyes pleading. I don’t want to ruin their friendship over this, and the problems between Tane and I are just that: only between us. No matter what issues I have with Tane, I don’t want Gage or Levi to be mad at him. He doesn’t deserve anyone’s wrath except mine.
“How could you not tell him, Giselle?” he asks, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “That doesn’t sound like something you would do.”
I hate the disappointment in his tone.
“We spent one night together, Gage,” I say, avoiding going into details. No brother wants to hear about his sister having a one-night stand. “He didn’t even recognise me. Look, it doesn’t matter, it happened. But he’s here now, and we’re trying to work out what the best thing for Parker would be. I can’t keep him away; Parker would hate me and Tane would hate me.”
And my heart might get broken, again. But now it’s time to think about Parker, not me. It’s all about my little boy.
Gage just stares at me, looking like he wants to hit something else. I look over at Levi, who has an unreadable expression on his face.
“I’m sorry I never told you the truth,” I say softly. Levi stares at the ground, not saying anything. “Both of you.”
Gage sighs, closing his eyes, as if when he opens them everything will be solved. “He’s my friend. But you’re my sister, Giselle, and he should have been there for you. I know I don’t know the whole story, but you shouldn’t have had to deal with this alone.”
“Let me handle this, Gage,” I plead. He goes to argue, but I cut him off. “No. Just stop. Don’t ask me questions when I haven’t even figured out how to handle this situation yet. Let me deal with this and I’ll explain everything later. For now, I need to think and talk to Tane.” I can see Gage thinking it over and when he sighs I know he’s agreed.
“We will talk about this tomorrow,” he demands, his tone brokering no argument.
“Why did you guys come back so soon, anyway?” I ask him.
“We forgot Parker’s bag,” he replies. “We didn’t know …” Something like this would be happening? No, I guess not.
I nod quickly and watch as they both leave.
Levi didn’t say a word.
I’ve really f**ked up.
Tane opens his eyes, blinking furiously.
“Are you okay?” I ask. It’s a well-known fact that Gage is a good fighter and he’s built like a brick-house, so I can only imagine how hard he hit Tane.
I watch as Tane shakes his head no, but I don’t think it’s the pain from the hit that he is referring to.
“Wait a sec,” I tell him, getting up and running to Parker’s room to check on him. He’s lying on his bed, fast asleep, clutching a book. The sight makes me feel guilty. I carefully pull the book from his grasp and put it away, then cover him with his blanket. I kiss him on his forehead and run my hand through his hair. He is such a good kid. I really am blessed.
When I return to Tane, he is sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. I see him staring at the bottle of wine, but not reaching to pour any.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he says, still staring at the wall. I sit down next to him.
“When I found out I was pregnant I tried to ring you. Your publicist answered and refused to put the call through. When I tried to explain to her, she laughed and hung up. I’m guessing she was used to receiving pleading calls from women,” I add dryly before continuing. “I decided to fly out to Sydney to talk to you in person. I knew you were doing a gig at a club there, so I went. When I got there, I couldn’t find you. Apparently you had left early with …” I trail off, not wanting to go on. I was told he had left with more than one woman, so I just left. I was angry with him. I was hurt. Looking back, I should have just found him. Whether he was busy with other women or not, I should have just looked for him and tried to tell him. He deserved that much. He f**ked up, but so did I. I flew back to Perth the next flight.
When Tane lowers his head into his hands with a strangled sound, I assume he remembers the night himself. When he looks up at me, his crestfallen expression makes my heart ache. He shakes his head.
“Fuck!” he growls, standing up and walking out of the house. I walk out behind to see him leaning against his car window, hands crossed against the top of the vehicle. When I see his shoulders slightly lifting, I wonder if he’s crying. I walk over to him and place my hand on his shoulder, frowning when he flinches at my touch.
“How can you even want to be near me right now?” he asks, the hollowness of his tone worrying me. I don’t understand.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“All this time you’ve been taking care of Parker by yourself, while I’ve been …” He trails off and I try my best not to finish that sentence. I don’t want to think about it. No matter what Tane has done, I don’t like to see him upset or hurt. He’s my weakness.
“It’s the past, okay? Now we just need to decide how to handle the future,” I say gently. Tane straightens and faces me. His eyes are faintly red, the only indication that he was upset. “I just want you to know that I got into this without expecting any help. I understand that this has been thrown at you and if you don’t want to be—”