While my friends are already aware of my proposed expansion of the charity’s summer camp program to include middle-school children, I haven’t told anyone about my plans to transform it from a glorified babysitting service into something special. The university has given me an independent study course for my work with the charity and I’ve used my time to model a program that will not only engage and challenge the middle-school kids, but possibly change their futures.
I’m not looking forward to my small acting role in the play, but when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. Caroline is forever saying that clothes can change how you feel about yourself. Turns out a wig can do the same thing. I love the way I look, but I’m worried it’ll be too much for my brother to take. “Which one of us is going to prepare Reed for my costume?”
Her lips twist as she tries to hide her conspiratorial grin. “Maybe it should be a surprise.”
I tilt my head to the side. Caroline has even covered my dirty blonde eyebrows with black mascara. I don’t look anything like a natural blonde. “Good idea. He might not even realize it’s me.”
She shakes her head with a laugh. “Trust me, he’ll figure it out. I suppose I should warn him or he’s liable to rush the stage when you walk out and throw his coat over you.”
“The sad thing is, I wouldn’t be at all shocked if he did.” There’s a hint of bitterness in my voice.
Caroline, who was packing up her makeup, pauses and meets my eyes in the mirror. “You know he loves you, Lexi.”
Guilt pricks at me. I’ve never, ever doubted Reed’s love for me. If not for his sacrifice, I would be stuck in Boston taking a year off to regroup from the “incident,” as my parents call it. When I called Reed in tears, telling him about their plan for me, he was quiet for a long moment, so long I thought we had been disconnected. Then he asked in a soft voice, “What do you want to do, Lexi?”
“I want to go back to school—” my voice broke “—I need to go back to school.”
“You will. I promise. I’ll fix this.”
He stormed into the house an hour later and got into a historic shouting match with our parents. He told them they needed to put what was good for their daughter before their worries about themselves. Reed’s a stubborn guy and he refused to back down, even when our father threatened to disown him. Hours later, my brother found me in my room, where I’d retreated from all the hysterics. He sat on the edge of my bed and told that me he’d worked it all out with them. That I’d go back to school in the fall and live with him in an apartment. Then he kissed my forehead and made me promise to call if I needed anything in the meantime.
“I’m here for you, Lexi,” he’d said. “I won’t let anything else happen to you.”
I didn’t discover the extent of Reed’s sacrifice until days later. He’d been accepted to Stanford University to do his Ph.D. under his idol Dr. Donald Knuth—his lifelong dream—and he gave it up for me. When I protested, he refused to listen. So instead of embarking on a sterling career, he became a grad student at Southern University, where he teaches beginning algebra and runs the math lab. When we moved, our parents made us use our maternal great-grandmother’s maiden name—Pendergraft—to avoid any family embarrassment, which means Reed also lost much of the reputation and credibility he had accumulated over his academic career. Yet he has never once acted hurt or angry over the choices he made for me.
It’s a debt I can never repay.
Caroline kisses my cheek. “I’ll talk to him, okay?”
I smile at her, grateful she’s in our lives. Caroline may be Reed’s fiancée, but she’s also a dear friend. I wouldn’t love her any more if she were my own sister. She loves me too, which is why she always intervenes on my behalf. “I’m sorry, Caroline,” I say. “I put you in this awkward situation. I know you and Reed fight over me.”
She laughs. “Did I tell you that our first fight was over you?”
Reed and Caroline first met at a party, and sparks flew the second they laid eyes on each other. Only Caroline was intent on getting a date with another guy that night. “I thought your first fight was over Dylan Humphrey.”
She smirks. “I mean our first fight as an actual couple. If you don’t count Reed blowing his gasket over me walking across the campus by myself after midnight.” She sobers a bit. “But after I found out why…” I sigh as worry wrinkles her brow. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned—”
“Lexi, we’re ready for you,” the stage manager says. “We’re about to start the party scene.”
I hop out of my chair and pull Caroline into a hug. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s the elephant in the room we all ignore.” I drop my arms and give her a sad smile. “But one of these days it’s going to sit on me if we keep doing that.”
I hear my cue and go onstage, staying to the background until it’s time for me to say my single line. We’re supposed to be at a party, so I pretend to talk to Sylvia, my friend and fellow business major, whom I roped into participating in my work with the charity. My role is simple. I’m supposed to be a vivacious, life-of-the-party girl, so my movements are all exaggerated. Rob, one of the Hillsdale actors, walks onstage with another girl and I spin toward him and deliver my one line.
“Why did I ever let him go?”