He sits on the edge of his desk, at a loss for words.
I help him out by changing the subject. “Are you still coming tonight?”
A smile spreads across his face. “I wouldn’t miss it. It’s your stage debut, since I don’t think we can count your riveting performance as Little Bo Peep in the third grade play.”
I laugh. “I can’t believe you remember that.”
“How could I forget it? Mother made me wear a tie to the school program. Some of my friends were there, so I was teased mercilessly for weeks.”
I release a contented sigh, happy to be here with him in this moment. We’ve gotten pretty close since we moved to Hillsdale together. “I miss you.”
His brow wrinkles. “I miss you too. I’m sorry if school and Caroline are sucking up my time.”
“No, don’t be sorry. Both are worthy of your attention. Besides, I want you to be happy.”
He stands and gently grabs my shoulders, turning me around so that he’s looking into my eyes. “I want you to be happy too. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing by bringing you here… if you would have been better off in Boston.”
My mouth drops open and I blink in confusion. “How can you say that?” Then it hits me. “Are you sorry?”
“No, Lexi. Southern’s not Stanford, but if I hadn’t come here I would never have met Caroline. And I can’t even begin to imagine a life without her. I’m grateful for the choices I made.”
I offer him a tight smile. I always worry that someday he’ll decide I’m not worth the sacrifice.
“No, it’s you I worry about.” He pauses then adds. “You’ve been so unhappy since your break up with Brandon.”
“I’m fine, Reed. I promise. I was sad, but I’m better and I thoroughly love what I’m doing with the children’s charity. I’ve never felt more fulfilled.”
He looks relieved.
“I want to concentrate on school and work. I don’t need a boyfriend right now.” I offer him a smug grin. “I thought you of all people would appreciate that.”
“Trust me, I do. But Caroline disagrees. You’re a college sophomore who lives with her brother and his fiancée. Caroline worries that I’m sheltering you too much and that you’re not getting the most out of your college experience. And I have to wonder if she’s right, as hard as that is to accept.”
I gasp. “You’re admitting that someone else is right? Is the world coming to an end?”
He looks out the windowed partition at the guy he left at the table and moves toward the door. “Very funny. I have no problem admitting if someone’s right and I’m wrong. It’s just a rarity.”
“No wonder all your tutors are quitting.”
He scowls. “No. It’s a matter of rules. The tutors who left refused to follow them.”
“Just go easy on them and they might stick around longer.”
“Now you sound like Caroline.” He gives me an amused look as he opens the door.
I stare into his eyes and say in mock sincerity, “Listen to the women in your life, Reed. We want what’s best for you.”
“So you keep saying…” I love it when my serious brother teases me. “Come on, I need to get back to work.” He walks with me through the tutoring room and into the hall. “I probably won’t see you before the play, so break a leg.”
“Thanks. But I’ll see you after the performance, right?” I want to ask him if Caroline has warned him about my costume, but another part of me doesn’t want to start that potential argument.
He grins. “Of course.”
I head to the parking lot and search for my car. It’s not hard to spot. Reed and I shared a car last semester, but in Caroline’s quest to convince him to give me more independence, Reed and I went car shopping shortly after the New Year. He insisted on something “safe,” so we found a used Volvo. White, of course. The safest paint color for cars, according to him. A family-style sedan is hardly my dream car, but at least it’s not a minivan. And it’s all mine.
When I walk in the front door of the apartment, a delicious smell hits me in the face. “Oh, what is that?”
Caroline is in the kitchen standing in front of the stove with a spatula in her hand. “Some frozen meal I found at the grocery store. Want some?”
“Sure. I’m going to change first.” While the business-casual ensemble I’m wearing would work for the speech I’ve prepared for the audience before the play, I want to look as polished and professional as possible. I’m hoping to get more pledges tonight. I settle on a blue dress that looks professional but is soft enough not to look cold and overbearing.
When I return, there are two plates with some pasta and chicken concoction on the bar with glasses of water.
“I thought we could ride together since I’m helping with the costumes and makeup.” Caroline says, setting silverware down next to each plate. “Then I can ride home with Reed and you can have the car. Maybe go out and have some fun with the cast afterward.”
“Caroline,” I grumble as I sit down in front of my dinner. “You don’t have to organize my social calendar. I’m doing just fine.”
“You’re not,” Caroline says softly from the seat next to mine.
“Just because—”
She leans toward me, her eyes serious. “You’re not, Lexi. I see it in your eyes. Something happened to you that night you went out with Brandon before Christmas. Something broke inside you. I keep hoping I’m wrong about that, that I’m seeing things that aren’t there, but something’s wrong. I know it.” She takes my hand. “Lexi, I love you. Tell me what happened.”