I slide my feet into my shoes and grab my phone and keys off the nightstand. If it were a school day, I’d make coffee, but there’s an industrial-sized machine in the kitchen at the office. And there will be plenty of refills to get me through the day.
Hillsdale isn’t a big town, nor is it affluent, which is why Southern University is a strange fit. One of the two local manufacturing plants has laid off half its work force and, the way things are going, it will soon close its doors. The town’s hurting bad and my father’s heating and cooling business is hurting right along with it. Before my arrest, Dad wanted to leave the business, Masterson H&C, to Kyle and me, but now he’s planning on saving the whole thing for Kyle. I wonder what will be left of it by the time my little brother is ready.
Despite the fact that I hate waking up at o-dark-thirty to go to work on Saturday mornings, once I get there, I usually enjoy it. With no one else around, I can plug in my headphones and listen to music while I clean. And I carry my backpack around, so I can study in between tasks. If I didn’t have my notes with me, I’d go insane. Busy work isn’t enough to keep my brain occupied for eight hours. I have no idea how my friend Bobby can stand working on the assembly line at the plant. He was one of the lucky employees who kept his job. Although the term lucky is relative, I guess.
I unlock the front door and scan my ID card to get into the building. The door lock pops and I close myself inside, ready for my eight hours away from the world. Coffee is first on my list, and then I’ll start cleaning.
The day goes by quickly and I’m actually feeling better about my history exam by the time I head back to my apartment, but I’ve spent more time than I care to admit thinking about Alexa, the girl from the play. She caught my attention the moment she walked into the bar last night, but when she started to tell me about her work with the charity, I became seriously intrigued.
Alexa was so animated as she spoke about her plans for the expanded summer program, which is obviously much more than a resume booster for her, and several things struck me as I stopped what I was doing to watch her. One, she was in charge of the program, as bizarre as that seemed given the fact she looked all of nineteen or twenty. Two, if I had two functioning brain cells left I would have carded her before taking her drink order. And three, all I could think about were her lips and what it would be like to kiss her.
And that alone is reason for me to worry about my sanity. I’ve given up women, especially Southern women, and even though she didn’t admit to being a college student, something tells me that Alexa is most definitely a Southern woman.
Still, her idea is incredible and I can’t help but think about how much I would have loved to attend something like that when I was Kyle’s age. Nevertheless, there’s no way she can raise that many thousands of dollars, not to offer the courses she has planned while still making it worthwhile for the instructors. And I find myself disappointed, not only for my brother but also for Alexa.
By the time I get off work, I have three hours before I have to be at the bar, and I need a nap. Getting little over three hours of sleep on Friday nights is a killer, but I can do this for three more months. I know I can. All I have to do is keep my eye on the prize: my diploma.
Both of my roommates are sitting on the sofa playing video games when I walk in the front door. I head into the kitchen and grab a bag of chips from the cabinet, stuffing a handful in my mouth. I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge to wash them down.
“You know that game’s like ten years old,” I say.
“Don’t be a hater…” Austin says, his eyes glued to the screen.
“…just because we kick your ass every time,” Noah finishes.
“Suit yourself if you want to be losers for the rest of your life,” I mumble on the way to my room. They know I don’t mean it, mostly. My roommates are socially awkward and I think they like it that way. In the entire year I dated Sabrina, she only came to my apartment once. She met Austin and Noah and stared at them with a blank expression on her face. They reddened under her intense scrutiny, and if I’d had any sense at all, I would have realized I did not want to be caught in the Sabrina Richmond’s gravitational pull. But I had no sense and my dick led me down a path to ruin. What an idiot. I sigh as I kick off my shoes and lie down on my bed. Live and learn, they say. No more Southern University girls, no matter how beautiful or altruistic.
I close my eyes and sleep isn’t far behind, given my perpetual state of exhaustion. I feel like I’ve only just gone under when I hear Austin calling my name. “Ben!”
I rouse, lifting my head. “What? I’m not settling another bet between you and Noah over whether the original Star Trek or Star Trek: The Next Generation is better. Now leave me the fuck alone.”
“Then I guess you don’t care that your shift at the bar started ten minutes ago.”
“Fuck!” I jump out of bed, disoriented. The bar. I need my black T-shirt and jeans.
“You’re welcome,” Austin calls out, his voice sarcastic, and I feel like an asshole.
Not feel like an asshole. I am one. I know this. I’ve carried a fucking chip on my shoulder since that night in late November when the police showed up my apartment. I was hosting a party of about thirty people to celebrate finally cutting the cord with Sabrina. Everyone who knew her knew she was toxic, everyone but me. So when the police knocked on my door, I figured a neighbor must have called in a noise complaint. Imagine my surprise when I discovered they were there to arrest me on rape and sodomy charges.