I stared at him, bewildered. I wasn’t sure how to feel; even with the suspicions I’d already had, I couldn’t have prepared myself for what he was tel ing me.
“Please don’t leave,” Jared whispered, stil holding my hand to his chest.
I looked down at my feet and then reached down to unbuckle the straps of my shoes from around my ankles. “You’d just fol ow me if I left, right?” I said, kicking off my shoes.
“Even if it weren’t my job,” he said with an impish grin. He looked down at my bare feet. “I’m glad you’re staying, we stil have quite a bit to discuss.”
“There’s more?”
Jared nodded and led me to his smal , grey couch.
“Maybe we should save the rest for another night. It’s a lot to take in,” he sighed.
I ignored him. “Why did you sit beside me on that bench the night of Jack’s funeral?”
“You were crying. Jack was gone. I couldn’t think of any more reasons to stay away.”
“What about your father? Didn’t Gabe care that you were breaking the rules?”
Jared looked to the floor. “He died the morning of your father’s funeral.” He spoke as if exhaustion had just set in.
I gasped. “Gabe is…?” I couldn’t finish.
Jared had comforted me just hours after his own father’s death. I gently pul ed his chin to face me. His eyes were thick with grief, as if he was experiencing it for the first time.
It dawned on me how it must have felt to Jared, to see me suffering, and the deep need he struggled with to make it go away. I felt the same urgency that very moment. My eyes focused on the thin line between his lips, and I moved a bit closer to him.
Jared rested his soft hands on each side of my face. He leaned in slowly, inches from my mouth. His jaw tensed; he seemed to be struggling with what he had been told was the right thing to do and what he wanted.
He shook his head. “This isn’t why I brought you here,” he said, pul ing away from me.
“I know,” I sighed.
Jared stared at the floor, working to even out his breathing.
I touched his arm. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe we’ve had enough truth for one night.”
“Do you want to leave?” he asked, concerned.
“No!” I paused to regain my composure. “No. I just meant that maybe we could talk about something else…if you want,” I fidgeted. “Your training, what schools you went to, friends…girls,” I said, a corner of my mouth turning up.
“Girls?” he repeated, raising an eyebrow.
“You know about my utter failure when choosing a boyfriend, and I’m sure you saw the awkward dates I’ve been on.”
“Those were never a good day at work for me,” he said, furrowing his brow.
“It’s only fair,” I reasoned. “You must have had at least one bad date….”
Jared shook his head dismissively. “I didn’t have time to date.”
I wasn’t sure what expression was on my face, but it made Jared’s eyes squint with chagrin. He clearly didn’t expect to talk about his love life, or lack thereof.
“I was focused on keeping you alive. Making mistakes in my family means more than having to say you’re sorry.”
“Never?”
Jared shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “It wasn’t that I never had the opportunity, or that I wasn’t al owed the time…or even incessantly encouraged,”—his face twisted into a disgusted scowl—“I just had my priorities.”
“Should I feel guilty or flattered?”
Jared looked straight into my eyes. “By the time it occurred to me to care about things like that, I already knew you were al I’d ever want.”
I control ed my eyes from bulging from their sockets, but I couldn’t stop my mouth from turning up into a half surprised, half appreciative grin. My eyes focused on his lips again.
“So…why did you bring me here?”
He shrugged. “You said al I had to do was tel you the truth. That was al I needed to hear.”
“When did I say that?” I felt my eyebrows pul in as my mind rewound the night’s conversation.
He hesitated. “To Beth…last night.”
“In my room? How did you hear that?”
Jared sighed and sat tal er in his seat, bracing for round two. “Just hear me out before you leave,” he said in a low tone. “It’s my duty to protect you. I can’t do that without knowing where you are at al times. I couldn’t walk around freely in your dorm, so we had to have eyes and ears in place.”
“What do you mean eyes and ears?”
“Your father was meticulous.” He was stal ing.
“Spit it out, Jared.”
“When you were accepted into Brown, Jack had cameras instal ed in Andrews and different places on campus. We tracked the GPS in your car of course, but that had been in place the day Jack bought it. We tracked the GPS in your cel phone as wel , and your parents’ house has always been wired.” Jared spoke casual y, but he was braced for another outburst.
“There’s a camera… in my room?” I spoke slowly, the anger and shock nearly choking my words.
“No! No, no, no…,” Jared chuckled nervously. “There’s a camera in the hal . We only placed a mic in your room.”
I considered that for a moment, trying to recal if I’d ever done anything embarrassing. Nothing came to mind—I hoped that nothing would.