“Is that what this is about? Guilt?” Cynthia paced the room, arms stil crossed.
“No!” I gasped. “It’s nothing like that,” I said, embarrassed that Jared could hear her words.
She closed her eyes and sighed. “Nina…please. I’m begging you. You know that I want you to be happy…but this—this is not going to end wel ,” her voice was quiet.
I smiled. “Does anything end wel ?”
Cynthia heaved her usual resigned sigh, but this time it was different. It was the same she used in the seldom event that she lost an argument to Jack.
“I wish this one time, Baby, that you would listen to what I’m trying to tel you. The last few months have been the culmination of every fear I’ve ever had.”
I had been unaffected by my mother’s infamous guilt trips since I was thirteen, but now that she’d used Jack’s death, I couldn’t break free of the blame. She had never wanted me to find out the truth, and I imagined that it was the one thing she wanted to remain unchanged after we lost my father.
When I thought of her dishonesty and how she’d kept secrets about Jack and Gabe and the Ryels from me for years, the guilt turned to anger.
“You can’t tel me how to feel,” I glowered.
“It’s not too late, Nina. You can save yourself,” she said, lifting my chin. Her uncharacteristical y soft affection caught me off guard, but I was resolved.
I pul ed away from her. “I don’t need to be saved from Jared.”
Cynthia sucked in a sharp breath and pinched her nose with her thumb and finger. “Nina….”
I could see that she was finished. She had pul ed every trick from her bag and laid her cards on the table. I felt triumphant as I imagined Jared smiling at my words.
Beth returned, then, sitting beside me on her bed. “Hazelnut and Splenda,” she smiled, handing me a Styrofoam cup.
“Thanks, Beth.”
Cynthia looked at me, exasperated. “I’m going home now. Please think about what I said. It’s important.”
“I wil .” I tried to conceal my relief at her departure.
Beth closed the door and then turned to me. “Did she just give you the sex talk?”
“What? No!” I twisted my face in disgust. The thought of discussing my sex life with my mother made my stomach turn, and Beth clearly had the wrong idea about several things.
“You stayed with him last night?” The corners of her mouth turned up in an enthusiastic grin.
“Yes, but I fel asleep. It wasn’t like that.”
“Oh. Wel , did you have a good time?” she asked, deflated.
“We went to his loft, he cooked—“ “He cooked?” Beth interrupted.
I nodded. “He brought me flowers and there were candles everywhere. We talked for hours, into the morning.”
Beth pul ed her knees up to her chest. “Wow. I told you he was in love with you. I have a sixth sense about these things.”
“You’re amazing,” I granted.
“Thanks for noticing,” she said. Her eyes narrowed with her grin. “When are you going to see him again?”
“Later today, I hope. Our morning was sort of cut short.”
“Cynthia,” she said. I nodded my head and she stood up, gathering her things.
“I’m going to the hospital with Chad and Tucker in an hour. Do you have time before you meet back up with Jared?”
“Yes,” I said, deciding in the moment.
Beth dialed her cel phone, cal ing Chad to let him know that I would be tagging along. Quickly after he answered, her voice lowered. She tried to be vague, but I could tel Chad, Tucker, or both, had a problem with me going. Beth won in the end, and she turned to me and winked.
I was relieved to arrive at the hospital; Tucker and Chad didn’t seem angry with me, but there was an obvious air of tension in Chad’s jeep. I wasn’t sure what al the apprehension meant until we arrived at Ryan’s new room in PCCU.
Ryan didn’t look happy to see me. In fact, he behaved as if my very presence was an insult.
He wasted no time before he pounced. “So how was your date?” he sneered.
“I thought you didn’t want to hear about it.” My answer was automatic and venomous. I hadn’t intended to sound defensive, but his spiteful attitude took me by surprise.
“That was before Beth cal ed everyone looking for you at three in the morning. It went that wel , huh?” he bristled.
I looked over at Chad and Tucker; this is what they were worried about.
Beth looked at Chad with an angry glare, and he shot her an apologetic smile.
“It wasn’t me, Babe!” he shrugged.
“Who was it?” she snarled.
Ryan rol ed his eyes. “It was Josh. What does it matter?”
Beth stomped to my side of the room in protest, crossing her arms.
“What business is it of Josh’s?” I said. “If everyone’s so worried about me upsetting you, why do they keep passing on my business?” I was being entirely too defensive, but I was stil raw from my earlier encounter with Cynthia.
“Maybe they want me to talk some sense into you.”
“Or is it because you’re making everyone think they have to choose sides?” I narrowed my eyes and mimicked Beth’s crossed arms. We must have looked ridiculous side by side; the Prom Queen Mafia.
“There are no sides.” Ryan’s nose wrinkled at my words.