I shook my head. “I don’t understand. Your family protects mine? Since when?”
“My father has known Jack since before you were born…before he married your mother.”
I felt my eyebrows pul in. “Why haven’t we met before?”
Jared squeezed my hand. “We have. One of my earliest memories is of Jack encouraging you to take your first steps. We went on family vacations with you; I watched you blow out the candles on your birthday cakes; I saw you drive your first car; we were always in the background.”
I shook my head. “When we had lunch I asked you if we’d met. You said we hadn’t.” Frustration made my words sharper than I had intended.
“We hadn’t met in the way you were inquiring,” Jared pointed out. “The moment I sat beside you on that bench I’ve been very careful not to lie to you, Nina. I promised myself that if the day ever came that I could final y be in your life—in a real way—I would always be honest with you.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Your father protected mine?”
Jared nodded.
“Who is your father?”
“Gabe Ryel.”
“Gabe is your father? But…I don’t remember you. I spent time in his home. You weren’t there.”
“Claire and I were away. We had to start our training early to be ready in time. Bex is eleven and he’s already finished school. He’s been in training for the last eighteen months. It’s just the way it works.”
“It’s the way what works?”
Jared winced at my irritated tone. He was struggling with each piece of information, now. He spoke as if he expected me to run away with every new fact he revealed.
“I’m getting to that,” he shifted nervously.
I pul ed my hand from his and lowered it to my lap. “I don’t remember any of that.”
Jared watched me pul away from him with a pained expression. “You weren’t supposed to. Your father did everything he could to keep you from the dark parts of his life. He did love you, Nina.”
I shook my head, trying to keep the tears at bay. I couldn’t think of any words. Jared stared at me for a moment and spoke again, “Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“Yes. I’m sure.” Knowing something real, even if it was hurtful, was far better than living a lie.
Jared sucked in another breath. “About the time I was ready to work alone, you were becoming more independent. It was thirteen months before there was a need for my training. Up until then, I’d pretty much felt like a babysitter.”
I cringed at his choice of words.
“Five days before your sixteenth birthday Jack had begun a deal with the cops you saw in the surveil ance photos. My father told Jack it was a bad idea, but the bottom line was always the money, and those men—,” Jared spoke with disdain, “—were the easiest way to bypass the system.
“Once Jack realized that dirty cops are a different breed of criminal with even less regard for the law, it was too late. Jack was used to being targeted, but he wasn’t prepared for them to go after you. No one had ever been stupid enough to push Jack that far.”
“After me? We’re talking three years ago, and I had no idea? How is that possible?”
“Because I’m good at my job, Nina. I had to be.” Jared tensed as he continued, “I’d hoped your father would be honest with you—although at the time I wasn’t sure why—but it only made Jack even more determined to keep you from the truth. He didn’t want you to live in fear, and I couldn’t argue with that logic.”
“What made you change your mind?”
Jared’s hands locked together on top of the table. “The first time you were targeted, I took a bul et to the shoulder. The training made it automatic for me to stop that bul et, Nina; but in that one instant, my eyes were opened. The moment I saw Tipton’s finger press against the trigger I wasn’t protecting you because I had to. For the first time, I realized that I could lose you.”
“You were almost kil ed?” I gasped. I imagined him bleeding from a bul et wound while I went on with my life, oblivious. My heart faltered.
Jared crossed his arms on the table and smiled. “Not even close.”
“So these feelings you have for me…you had them before I ever knew you existed,” I said, more of a statement than a question.
Jared grimaced, incensed at my choice of words.
“Nina,” he shook his head. I had obviously offended him somehow. “I was in love with you before you ever knew I existed. It was very difficult to be around you for hours on end and not be able to comfort you, or touch you…even speak to you. I wasn’t al owed to let you see me, but it was my job to watch your every move. That included standing by while people lied to you, betrayed you, caused you pain.
“Jack reminded me constantly that it had to be that way. He could see that every day it grew harder for me to be non-existent…to be invisible to the woman I loved.” His eyes were unfocused, mul ing over the memories that troubled him.
Jared had now said it twice: He was in love with me.
“You can’t imagine the rage I felt seeing some sleaze that didn’t appreciate you take you to dinner, take you for granted, kiss you…make you cry. It was my duty to protect you and I wasn’t al owed to protect you from that; although, I would have gladly murdered Howard without a second thought the night of your sixteenth birthday.”