"You're driving me crazy," I tell him when he lifts his lips briefly.
He smiles down at me. "Oh yeah? Why is that?"
"Because... I'm used to you handling me with the force of a hurricane. This gentle, summer storm you're giving me right now is a bit disconcerting."
Cillian trails a fingertip down my throat, his gaze following. "What did I tell you? No thinking... just feel."
He kisses me again and I do as he asks. His moves are tender but still passionate. Finally, his hands move and they start gently stroking me, in places that he's never paid that much attention to before.
The underside of my arm. My collarbone. The outside of my thigh. He even nuzzles under my jaw before kissing me softly there. I do what he asks and let myself just feel.
Our clothes seem to melt away, in between the slow make-out session we have. Our hands seek each other in more intimate places, causing soft gasps and sharply drawn breaths. He leaves me for just a second, to grab a condom.
Lying on his side, he hands it to me. "Put it on."
There's my controlling Cillian, and his command causes me to shiver. I slowly roll it on his length, taking my time and squeezing him when I'm done. He lets out a soft moan before pushing me on my back and covering me again.
He enters me slowly while his face hovers over me, his eyes boring into mine. He moves with care and a calmness I didn't know he possessed. It makes my heart swell just a little, wondering if this man is capable of something more.
He moves inside of me, all the while staring into my eyes. I'm helpless to look away, although I have to fight the urge to close my eyes every time he hits me deep. Our breaths come out a little louder, punctuated every so often by a groan from one of us. We build up higher, both on the same path, and when I feel myself start to tighten around him, he links our hands together and kisses me lightly on the mouth. His lips stay there, resting softly against mine, as he starts to cl**ax, and I follow right behind him.
When our bodies finally stop shuddering from pleasure, Cillian kisses me again. "Give me just a second, okay?"
I nod and he leaves the bed, walking to the bathroom. He's back within a few moments and crawls back in bed, drawing me into his arms. Placing his lips on my forehead, he murmurs, "My cailín álainn."
"What does that mean...you keep saying it to me?"
He runs his tongue over my lower lip. "It's Gaelic for 'beautiful girl'."
"Oh," I say, warmed by the endearment. "You make it sound so lovely."
"Lovely sentiment for a lovely girl."
I stroke his chest. "I don't know if I can handle sweet and cuddly Cillian. It's a bit weird."
Cillian just grins at me. "You handle me just fine, Renner. Much better than I deserve half the time."
I'm silent for a moment, still basking in the amazingly sweet sex we just had, and also relishing this new, softer Cillian. I know it's not his truly deep nature, but he's not faking this. He definitely has a gentleness buried underneath the controlling, sexy, rock-star personality.
"What do you need from me?"
He looks at me with surprise. "What do you mean?"
"Well," I say carefully. "I don't think things are going to be easy with Maeve. I offered to step back but you said that's not an option. What role do you want me to play?"
Cillian runs his finger along my jaw, considering my request. "I don't want you to play a role. I just want you to be you. I want us to continue doing exactly what we're doing."
"Status quo, huh?"
"Well," he says deviously. "I wouldn't mind if we add a little more sex to the mixture."
His hand comes up to my breast and he tweaks a nipple. Pleasure courses through my blood.
I jab him in the ribs. "You're rotten."
"Every f**king day, baby. Every f**king day."
Then he kisses me again and I let myself get lost.
***
It was bound to happen—I realize that now. After the countless times Cady has barged into my flat unannounced, it was bound to happen while Cillian was here. And this time, it just so happened while we were eating na**d pizza in my kitchen.
"Hey, Renner... I have a need to do some shopping. Get your lazy ass in gear and let's go."
I screamed at her invasion, partly scared out of my wits when the door flew open and partly mortified to be standing there na**d while Cillian was feeding me a bite of pizza. I jumped behind Cillian, who didn't even have the grace to be embarrassed, facing Cady.
She at least slammed her eyes shut and spun around so fast I'm surprised she didn't get dizzy and fall over.
"Oh, f**k," she said. "What the f**k are you two doing?"
Her voice is filled with bewilderment and an underlying hint of disgust.
"Come on, Cady," Cillian says in a teasing manner. "You know exactly what I'm doing to lovely Renner here."
I jab him in the ribs with my finger and he yelps.
"Cady, just give us a second to get dressed."
Grabbing Cillian's hand, I drag him back to my bedroom. As soon as the door is closed, the idiot grabs me in his arms and tries to kiss me.
"What are you doing?" I say in exasperation as I push him away. "Get dressed so we can go smooth this over."
He grins at me but at least picks up his jeans and slips them on. "Why are you so bent out of shape? There's nothing to smooth over."