I smile at those words. "Yeah, you're not so bad yourself."
He holds me for a few more moments then says, "How about I cook you some breakfast?"
I glance up at him, a smirk on my face. "You can cook?"
"How about I take you out for breakfast?" he amends.
***
Cillian and I are lingering on a second cup of tea at a small diner that is just down from my apartment. The man can pack some food away because he ate his entire Irish breakfast and half of mine. When I commented on it, he just grinned at me and told me that he'd burned too many calories off in the past twelve hours.
"So, what's with the ass**le?" Cillian asks me.
"Asshole?" My mind is blank.
"Yeah, the one that was trying to kiss you last night."
"Oh." I'm not sure how to explain Cormac, so I opt for ambiguity instead. "Just an ex-boyfriend."
"I don't think he got the message that you were his ex," he observes.
Sighing, I take another sip of my tea. "He wants to get back together."
Cillian's words are sharp. "Do you?"
"Of course not... I mean... I had considered it briefly but... no, I couldn't. Not after..." I fall silent, looking down into my teacup. My face flames red, thinking about what he did to me, and I curse myself for even giving him the time of day.
"Not after what?" His words are soft, encouraging.
My eyes lift to his. "I'd rather not talk about it."
He just cocks a perfect eyebrow at me. "After what we shared last night... this morning? Come on, indulge me, Renner. I almost shanked the guy for you last night."
I had forgotten about that. "You wouldn't have."
His eyes go hard. "I would have... if he didn't get his hands off of you by the count of three."
Something about the possessive tone of his voice causes me to shiver and I don't doubt that Cillian would have rained some violence down on Cormac last night if he hadn't let me go.
"You're something else, you know that?"
"I take that as a compliment. So, what's the deal with him?"
I'm not sure why I'm trusting Cillian with this information, because it still embarrasses me greatly, but something clearly has changed between us. I know this is nothing more than just some damn hot sex, but I don't feel like Cillian would judge me harshly.
"So, I had this ideal man. Silly really, but it's what I always wanted. I wanted a nice, stable man. I wanted the house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, a dog, and kids. I thought that was Cormac. We worked together and had dated seriously for about six months. He’s a pilot with Delta and I was a flight attendant. I thought we'd get married one day. Turns out... he was already married."
"Ah... he was a cheatin' man."
I snort over those simple words. "He was so much more than that." I don't say anymore, the shame starting to overwhelm me.
"Tell me, Renner." Cillian’s words are so soft, I can barely hear them. His eyes are filled with sympathy because he knows that whatever I'm getting ready to tell him, is rough for me. For added measure, he reaches across the table and takes my hand. He soothes the back of my hand with his thumb, and I keep my eyes fixed on the heavy, silver Celtic ring he wears on it.
"His wife found out when I sent him a suggestive text. She apparently confronted him and he denied we had a relationship. Which, if that's all it was, would be understandable. But... to prove to her that I was nothing to him, he actually accused me of sexual harassment at work and I lost my job."
"What the f**k? I definitely should have cut that mother-fucker when I had the chance to."
I smile sadly and then pour the entire story out to Cillian. I don't leave anything out, even admitting that I'm basically hiding out here in Ireland because I'm too ashamed to go home and I really don't even know what to do with my life right now.
He stands from the table, pulling me up with him. Then he surprises me when he wraps his arms around me in the most gentle of hugs. "He's a coward, Renner. Plain and simple. He never deserved one minute of the attention he got from you."
I squeeze his waist. "I think my character-o-meter is broken."
He leans back and looks at me. "You're what?"
"My character-o-meter. You know—that thing by which I judge a man's character. I thought he was everything I was looking for."
Cillian laughs. "And what did that character—whatever you call it—say about me?"
"Well, it definitely misled me. I had no idea you could be this sweet."
Cillian shakes his head with mock sympathy. "It's definitely broken, darlin'. I'm just horny and want in your pants, so I'll say whatever I need to get there."
I throw my head back and burst out laughing. When I pull it back up and look at him, his head is tilted to the side and his eyes are curiously watching me.
"What?" I say as I self-consciously smooth my hair.
He grabs my hand from my head and turns it over to kiss my wrist. "Nothing. You're just stunning when you laugh, that's all."
I know I shouldn't let those words affect me but I have no control over the way my heart trips over those endearments. For the first time, I start to wonder if this can really just be sex for me. Particularly when his words affect me so much.
Releasing me, Cillian steps back and pulls his phone out. He dials a number and watches me while it rings. Someone answers and without taking his eyes off me, he says, "Keefe... it's Cillian. Listen... I'd like to take Renner out to Marlay Park today and was wondering if you could get someone to cover her shift."