My voice is dismissive.
I don't offer anything further and I hope she understands why I can't. But it doesn't escape my notice the brief flash of hurt that crosses her face before she turns around and gets back on the lift. I wait until the elevator doors close until I turn back to Maeve.
When I do, she's standing in front of me and throws her arms around my neck. "I missed you."
I immediately take her arms and peel them off. Taking a step back, I turn toward the stairwell. "Come on, Maeve. We're going back to Dublin Mind Wellness."
"No," she says adamantly. "I won't do it."
I turn back and look at her incredulously. "Tell me you're kidding. Tell me you are f**king kidding me?"
She shakes her head. "That place is terrible and I don't need it. I'm good, really. I have no desire to drink and I can do this on my own. I just can't take it there anymore, Cillian."
"That's not how it works. You don't just go and spend a few days and get better all of a sudden."
"Honestly," she says in a firm tone. "I'm fine. Seriously, Cillian. What I did that night... you have to know that was a silly cry for attention. But I saw how much that wigged you out. I won't do it again. I swear it."
God, I want to grab her by the shoulders and shake some common sense into her head. Maeve isn't a stupid girl. She knows this is wrong, but she's deluded herself into thinking she can do this on her own.
"You promised me you'd try," I remind her.
"Just like you promised me that you'd support me," she shoots back.
I rake my hand through my hair and let out a breath of frustration. "I do support you, Maeve. But I have my life to lead, too. You can't expect me to give that up, can you?"
She doesn't respond but just stares down at the tips of her shoes. "I don't expect that of you. I may want it, but I don't expect it."
She looks up at me and takes a step closer. Reaching for my hand, she links her fingers with mine. "Look... I swear to you, I can do this. I just can't go back to that place. I need my freedom. And I'm sorry if I got weird on you. It was just so stressful being in there on my own that I sort of freaked out a bit that you weren't at home. But I know you're right. You have your life to live and I have mine. I just want to do it on my own terms."
I watch her with uncertainty. She certainly sounds like she means it, the part about letting me live my life.
Sighing, I pull my keys out and open my apartment door. "Come on in and let's talk about it."
***
I sit on my couch, my legs propped up on my coffee table. Maeve just left and I have a throbbing headache.
I had called Dr. Madden first and let him know that Maeve was at my apartment. He basically told me there was no way to force her back, but just reiterated to me that I should try to encourage her to do so. He also reminded me that her promises to do this on her own were probably empty, and that without therapy, it was likely that she would relapse.
Armed with that information, I talked to Maeve for over three hours, trying to get her to go back. She was having none of it, even after I threatened to kick her out of the band. Whether I was bluffing or not, I have no clue, but she called me on it. She told me to do it, and that she would sue me and the boys for all we had.
That was an empty threat, because she didn't have a leg to stand on, but at the end of the three hours I was sick and tired of dealing with it. I finally told her I would give her one chance, and if she f**ked up again, it was either rehab or she had to leave OTE.
She gladly accepted my ultimatum and sounded positive that she could do it. But in my heart of hearts, I knew the chances were not good, given what Dr. Madden said.
Pulling my phone out, I make a quick call to Sean and fill him in on what's going on. He said he'd call Daniel and let him know.
There's only one thing left that I want to do today, and I head out the door to see Renner.
CHAPTER 15
Renner
I'm pacing my apartment, sick with worry and dread.
When I saw Maeve standing there, I immediately recognized her as the woman that had been hanging on him that first night in The Hibernian when I had helped Maureen bring the beers in. I had thought her a groupie and never gave her a second thought.
But I'm thinking about her now, and the way she had stared at me malevolently when we had come off the elevators. The woman hated me, on sight... of that I have no doubt.
The things she said to Cillian... they smacked of jealousy. She had been angry that he had not been at home last night and she was angry I walked off that elevator with him. I have to wonder what gives her the right to feel that way. The only answer that comes to mind is that she and Cillian have something going on. Which immediately makes me think that Cillian was f**king around with me behind Maeve's back, while she was off stuck in rehab.
But no... that just doesn't seem Cillian's style. I mean, in hindsight, after I found out Cormac was married, I could totally see him doing something like that. Because I came to recognize his grandiose and narcissistic qualities.
Cillian's not like that. Oh, he's arrogant and has an ego the size of Texas, but he's also confident enough in himself that he would be up front about it. He's say it right to my face..."Renner, I want to f**k you, but I'm f**king someone else too."
I have to give Cillian the benefit of the doubt right now, or until he proves to me otherwise.
The trail I'm wearing in my carpet is given a break when there's a knock on my door. Running over to it, I throw it open, knowing that Cillian's on the other side. I know this because the only other person that comes to my apartment unannounced is Cady and she'd just let herself in with her key.