“About before−”
He cuts me off. “You mean you parading your latest f**k around the building?”
I gape. “You hypocritical ass**le! You’ve f**ked everything with a pulse, but I can’t bring one guy to my apartment?” Okay, totally getting off track here. But the nerve of him!
“I haven’t had anyone since you returned, Taiya,” he says, sitting down opposite me. “But nice to see you were keeping tabs on me.”
“So what? You want a Husband of the Year Award or something?”
His expression darkens, his jaw ticking. “Heaven forbid you say something nice about me.”
“Oh, I said something nice about you at the door when I was drooling over your body,” I blurt out, not looking directly at him.
“See something you like, did you?” he asks, his tone laced with disdain.
“Are you… offended I was checking you out?” I ask, extremely f**king confused.
His lips tighten, and he pushes his blond hair off his face. “Why are you here?”
“I wanted to tell you about Scott,” I start.
“Look, Taiya−”
“He’s a friend. Just a friend. He’s never even touched me, so stop with the jealous bullshit, Ryan,” I get out, cutting off whatever he was going to say. He eyes me suspiciously, as if gauging if what I’m saying is the truth.
“You’ve never f**ked him?”
“No,” I snap.
“Kissed him?”
“No, Ryan,” I answer patiently.
“He clearly wants you,” he says, clenching his fists.
“He doesn’t want me, trust me. Just friends. So stop looking at me like I kicked your puppy.”
“Of course he wants you, Taiya. What man wouldn’t want you?” he says sweetly, and I instantly soften.
“Not everyone feels that way, Ryan,” I say softly.
“Then they are blind.”
“Are we okay?” I ask, trying to stop my eyes from roaming down to his chest. Smooth, rippled, tanned skin. He’s so beautiful it almost hurts. The fact that so many women after me have seen this, have had this man even if only for a night, it hurts like nothing I’ve ever known.
He clears his throat. “Eyes up here, wife.”
“Why? By law doesn’t all this belong to me?” I ask, instantly cursing myself for saying that. I seriously can’t control myself around this man. It’s always been that way.
“Interesting that you say that,” he says. As if taking that as permission, his eyes trail over my body for the first time tonight. “As your husband, I want no more males entering your apartment.”
“You’re kidding me?” I ask.
“Dead serious,” he says, his lips curving into a sly smirk.
“Scott’s a friend,” I say slowly.
“If he has a dick, he’s included,” he says nonchalantly.
“We’re getting divorced. None of this matters.”
“That’s yet to be seen,” he says, studying me under his lashes.
I look around his apartment. “I bet these walls have a few stories to tell.”
“Actually, the only woman who’s been in here, besides you, is Summer,” he throws back, grinning. Clearly happy with himself.
“So you must have moved in recently then,” I guess.
Probably just moved in a few days ago.
Silence. Bingo.
“Why did you f**k around so much?” I ask boldly. I need to know the answer to this.
He looks surprised at my question, at the fact that I just spoke about something important. Something addressing the past, something that I didn’t dodge. He sighs heavily, leaning back in his chair.
“You left me. I was pissed. I was hurt. My heart was ripped open, Taiya. You obviously didn’t give a shit, since you bailed, so I did what I had to do to distract myself.” He looks straight into my eyes. Green clashing with blue. “I’m not proud, or anything like that. It was just my life without you in it.”
“Is that what you thought?”
“What?”
“That I didn’t give a shit. That’s why I left? I left because I loved you so much and you destroyed me. You broke me, Ryan.” I needed this reminder. I can’t let myself lower my guard around him again. He’s my weakness. He hurt me once. Who’s to say he won’t do it a second time? Am I that desperate for him that I’m willing to give him control over my heart again? I might not be able to heal myself the second time around. I can’t run again. I won’t let myself.
With that, I stand up and walk out of his apartment, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
Chapter Eight
Ryan
You broke me, Ryan.
Her words from last night play in my head. This whole situation is so f**ked up. How do two people come back from this? Is it true that sometimes love isn’t enough? I remember that night like it was yesterday. I was messed up, so f**king messed up. I had just visited my father in prison. I don’t know why I went. He’d been calling for years, but Reid and I never went to see him. The last night I had seen him was the night he gave Reid that scar. It was also the night we lost our mother. I went to the prison looking for answers, looking for… something. Redemption from something I’d been carrying around for a long time. Guilt. Something I’d always dealt with, something that made me feel like I wasn’t worthy. Like I was a coward.