That note broke my damn heart. The words run through my mind of their own accord…
Ryan,
All the best days of my life had you in them. Or maybe they were the best days of my life because you were in them. Either way, everywhere I look, I see you.
You are everywhere.
And everywhere hurts.
That’s why I need to leave. Because one look at you and I’ll want to forget. Forget what I saw, forget that you took my heart and stomped on it. That you broke me.
I don’t know who I am anymore, and that just pisses me off. There is no good way this can end. We both just need to move on with our lives, find out what we want. Well, find out what you want. I knew what I wanted. I just didn’t know how to keep it. Move on without me, because I’ll be doing the same.
Taiya
“Don’t worry, I have a plan,” I tell my brother, pushing her words out of my mind. If, not leaving her alone and grovelling, could be considered a plan, well, then, yeah, I had a plan.
“Just be yourself,” he jokes, trying to keep a serious face but barely managing. I chuckle at his sage advice, closing my laptop and shoving all the papers in the top drawer.
“Have you spoken to her?” I ask him. Reid and Taiya used to be pretty good friends.
“Well, the first time I saw her she was too busy slapping you across the face,” he says, his lip twitching and his eyes alight with amusement.
“Good times,” I add dryly.
“The second time I ran into her with Summer, we spoke for a few minutes. It was mainly Summer trying to get Taiya to go out with her. She can be very persuasive when she wants to be,” he says, pride evident by the glint in his eyes.
“Yeah, she’s a firecracker, that one.”
He lifts his shoulder in a shrug. “I thought I’d tag along with them, keep an eye out. Even though I don’t fight anymore, you never know what kind of grudges those douchebags could still be holding.”
“Shit, I never even thought of that,” I mutter, scowling. Reid used to fight in underground MMA, and in the past, things have gotten out of hand with other fighters. Fights have broken out. Once, a fighter made lewd comments about Summer, wanting to start shit; there was no stopping Reid.
“I don’t think anything will happen, but you know me, I’d rather be wherever Summer is.”
“And you’re obviously man enough to admit it,” I say, grinning widely.
Reid flexes his ripped biceps. “Anyone have anything to say about it?” he mock threats, showing off.
“I could take you.”
He grins, all teeth. “It’s adorable that you think so, baby brother.”
“Baby? By like, a minute.” If that.
“Still counts,” he taunts, grinning.
“Are you two done?” came an amused voice at the door. Reid turns around, and I look behind him to see Summer standing in the doorway, her eyes twinkling at our enlightening conversation.
“We will continue this conversation at a later time,” I tell Reid, walking past him and nudging him with my shoulder. “Everything all right?” I ask Summer.
“Yeah. Tag just went home so one of you needs to come help out front. But I can see you guys are busy doing something important, so…” she trails off, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m on it. Reid can handle the stocktake,” I call out, walking past Summer and exiting the room.
Chapter Six
I don’t see Taiya at all over the next few days, and I’m sure that’s not by accident. That’s why I’m surprised when I run into her on the stairs.
“What are you doing here?” she asks, her brows furrowing. Her curls are piled on her head, and she’s dressed in running clothes.
“What am I doing, on the stairs?” I ask, bemused.
“Yeah, you normally take the lift,” she says, grimacing when she realises what she just gave up.
“So that’s why I haven’t seen you around. You’ve been hiding?” I ask, feeling sad. I had guessed this was what she was doing, but I was hoping I was wrong. I can’t believe our relationship has resorted to this. “Taiya, you live here. You shouldn’t feel as though you need to avoid me.” It hurts; it really does.
She exhales deeply, looking down. “It’s just easier, you know.”
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to do that.” I wish I could tell her I’ll leave her alone. I wish I could, but I can’t. I want to be near her. It’s as simple as that.
She glances up at me. “Yeah, you’re right. Guess I’ll see you around then?”
I don’t want her to leave. “You want to come over for a bit, so we can talk?”
“Maybe later,” she says, her face falling. I see her look down at my hand, and notice that I’m now wearing my wedding band.
She stiffens. “Bye, Ryan.”
“Bye,” I say softly. I love you. So much it hurts.
With nothing better to do, I head into work, even though today is meant to be my day off.
“What are you doing here?” Jade asks as I walk in, blowing her chewing gum into a bubble.
“Hello to you too,” I say dryly, taking in the almost empty bar. We have three customers, which isn’t unusual for this hour. “Thought I’d see if you need some help.”
Jade looks around the bar. “I think I’ve got it under control.”
“Well, now that I’m here you can do some cleaning,” I say, smiling evilly. She pushes her short blonde hair behind her ears, and rolls her eyes.