“I’m sorry,” she called again as I walked away.
“No need to be sorry, love.”
Unless she was saying sorry for something else, something she hadn’t said.
“I’ll make it up to you,” she said.
“Also not necessary, though I do like the sound of that.”
She pulled the blankets up to her neck, settling back on the pillow. I switched off the lights and said, “Good night, Bliss.”
Then I ended our roller coaster of a day with an ice-cold shower and too many worries to count.
“WAIT, WAIT! JUST one more!”
“Bliss, there are children waiting.”
And they probably hated us, but I was just so glad to see her smiling that I didn’t care.
“Yeah, well, they all just jumped on the bandwagon. Most of them weren’t alive when I read Harry Potter for the first time.”
I turned to the Canadian family behind me and said, “I’m so sorry. This is the last one, I promise.” Then I took one more picture of Bliss pretending to push the luggage cart through the wall at the Platform 9? monument at King’s Cross Station.
A little boy stuck his tongue out at Bliss as we left. I pulled her away before she could follow suit.
“That kid better watch it. I’m totally a Slytherin.”
I shook my head, smiling.
“Love, I’m going to need you to pull back on the crazy a bit.”
“You’re right. Realistically, I’m a Ravenclaw.”
I laughed. Even when I didn’t quite get her, I loved her. Probably because I didn’t get her. She knew who she was, and she didn’t ever compromise that. Not even for me.
I chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m just imagining you with kids someday. You’ll probably end up fighting them to play with the toys.”
I didn’t notice that she’d stopped walking until I went to round the corner, and she wasn’t beside me. I turned and she was still standing a few feet back.
“I was joking, love.”
She crossed her arms over her middle and shrugged. “I know that.”
“Then why do you look so freaked out?”
“I just didn’t realize you thought about stuff like that.”
Oh God. The last thing I needed on this already stressful trip was to scare her off with talk of kids, not when she seemed mostly back to normal today. I could be really thick sometimes.
I laid my arm across her shoulders and said, “Whatever thoughts are unspooling in your mind, stop them. I’ve still got a lot to show you, and I was only having a laugh.”
“Right, where to next?”
“Well, we’ve seen the Globe.”
I felt her relax beside me as we walked, and she said, “You mean the replica of the Globe.”
“Close enough. We’ve done Big Ben, the Parliament, the Tower. What about the Eye?” I asked.
“Is that the giant Ferris wheel thing?” I nodded. “Yes, let’s do that!”
Just spending the day with Bliss and introducing her to my old city was enough to erase some of the messiness of last night, to erase some of my worries. She really must have just needed sleep because this morning, she was as perfect as ever.
“Can we stop by a store first?” she asked. “A pharmacy? I just wanted to get something in case I start feeling sick again.”
“Of course,” I kissed her temple, and we headed for the tube that would take us to the other side of the city.
10
Bliss
WE STOPPED AT a small store that was just a little bigger than a convenience store. It had food and toiletries and a random assortment of items, but the pharmacy in back was my concern.
“Would you mind grabbing me a drink?” I asked. “I’m going to run to the bathroom, grab that medicine, and I’ll meet you back up here.”
I didn’t wait for Garrick to agree before I turned to walk away. I headed for the pharmacy at a stroll, glancing behind me to see when he was no longer looking. When he turned, I picked up the pace and began scouring the shelves for pregnancy tests. It took me three tries to find the right aisle, and then all I could do was just stare at the display.
Why did there have to be so many?
There were brand names and off brands, digital and sticks and cups, one lines and two lines and plus signs and the signs of the apocalypse.
And oh God, why was this so terrifying?
Maybe I should just get one of each.
Then I looked at the price.
Eh . . . probably just one would do for now.
I grabbed the stick one with the plus sign, and bolted for the pharmacy counter at the back. An Indian guy in glasses was typing away at the computer.
“Excuse me?” He looked up. “Can I check out here?”
“No ma’am. Cashier is up front.”
Fabulous.
I grabbed a couple other things. Ibuprofen and sunscreen and a box of tampons (wishful thinking). I gathered all the items in my arms, hiding the pregnancy test behind them all. Then I went to the front to meet Garrick.
He stood holding a bottle of Coke, smiling and perfect, and God, I wanted to tell him. But his comment about kids earlier had my head all twisted. I’d thought about telling him then, but then he’d been so insistent that it was a joke that I started to worry that he would freak out. I mean, why wouldn’t he? We’d only been together a year. We were just about to get married. There were probably prison cells roomier than our apartment.