“Bliss—”
“I mean it, Garrick. I appreciate what you’re doing, and I get it. I love you for being willing to do this, but it’s not worth it. Not if you stop being you.”
She took my hand and pressed it to her stomach. “If we did have a child, and he came to you with something like this, would you tell him to take the money, to take the job that didn’t mean anything? Why am I even asking, I know what you’d say. You’d tell him to do the thing he loved, the thing that made him feel more alive. Life’s too short to waste time living it any other way.”
She was right.
Damn it. She was right.
The knot in my stomach loosened, and I released a heavy breath.
“How is it that you know me even better than I know myself?”
“Because I love you.”
My heart sprinted, and the force of each beat drew me closer to her. Every time she said those words . . . every time it felt like the first time. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled until I had her feet dangling off the floor. I kissed the corner of her jaw and returned the words.
“But if we’re pregnant . . . there are so many things we’ll have to overcome. It’s going to be hard with our lifestyles.”
She threaded her fingers through my hair and said, “Your mother took me to see a friend of hers who’s a doctor.”
I met her gaze, and set her feet back on the floor. “You told my mother?”
She shrugged. “That woman has a way of prying out my secrets.”
“And?”
“And I’m not pregnant.”
I swallowed, my stomach twisting with a combination of emotions, too vast for me to really identify.
“You’re not?”
She shook her head. “The doctor said she thinks it’s probably just stress that’s thrown off my cycle. Probably the combination of all the work and thinking about meeting your family.”
My heartbeat was slow, but loud in my ears.
“So . . . so we don’t have to worry about any of those things.”
“Not now, no.”
For the life of me, I couldn’t tell if I was disappointed or relieved. Not about the baby. The job though . . . that felt like I was a hundred times lighter.
“You okay?” she asked.
I kissed her forehead, then the tip of her nose, followed by her lips. I absorbed the calm from her warm skin, breathed in the balance from her closeness. I said, “Yes. I’m more than okay.”
She nodded. Her expression was just as hard to read, and I got the feeling that she was just as confused about how she felt as I was.
“Garrick? One more question.”
“Anything.”
Her smile widened, brilliant and beautiful. All her confusion disappeared.
“Marry me?”
Half a dozen responses flitted through my mind, from simple to snarky. But there was one thing that would always be true about me. I preferred action to words.
So, I pulled her close and answered her as thoroughly as I could.