"What the hell is your problem?" Nathan demanded as he shot an elbow to Eric's gut to get him off.
"You want Joe," Eric said, moving to throttle the bastard.
Nathan's horrified look gave him pause. "I don't want Joe!" he snapped, sounding disgusted and looking close to vomiting at the very idea.
"What the hell is wrong with Joe?" he demanded, pissed at that look of revulsion on Nathan's face.
"She's my sister, ass**le! Now get the hell off of me!" Nathan said, shoving him away so that he could get to his feet.
Eric got to his own feet, noticing the blood dripping from his nose for the first time. Well, it looked as though Nathan got in a few shots. Thankfully the man hadn't broken his nose, but it still stung like a bitch.
"What the hell is your problem?" Nathan demanded as he wiped blood off his lip with the back of his hand.
"What's yours?" Eric demanded right back.
"You are!" Nathan snapped, looking ready to leap at him.
"What did I do?"
"Joe!" Nathan shot back, shoving a frustrated hand through his hair as he started pacing Eric's small living room.
"What about her?" Eric asked, wondering if Nathan knew what happened between the two of them.
"You're a f**king idiot," Nathan practically snarled.
"You want to explain that?" Eric bit out tightly as he took an aggressive step towards his brother. Between the bullshit at work, what happened with Joe and having to push her away for her own good he was in no mood for any more bullshit.
"You have a woman who is beyond perfect for you, loves you, and who would walk on glass for you and you don't even see it," Nathan spat out.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Eric lied, wishing like hell they weren't having this conversation.
"Bullshit!" Nathan snapped, getting into his face. "You love her. I know you do and she loves you. I've seen the way you look at her. I know that the two of you have a connection that anyone would kill for," he said before muttering, "I would kill to have a woman who made me feel the way Joe makes you feel."
"How exactly do you think you think she makes me feel?" Eric asked, wondering how the hell they ended up here. He didn't want to have this conversation and was more than willing to go back to trading punches to avoid it.
"Whole," Nathan said, hitting the nail on the head and damn near making him stumble.
That's exactly how she made him feel. When she was around he felt complete, happy and at peace and when she wasn't around he felt lost. He hated being away from her and hated knowing that it was something that he would have to get used to it.
"I want what you're refusing to see," Nathan explained. "I want a woman that makes me feel complete, makes me happy and someone I couldn't imagine living without."
"We're just friends," Eric said lamely as he tried to ignore the ache in his chest. He missed her, wanted her and he was too f**king scared to go for it.
"Bullshit! She's everything to you and you damn well know it. While I would kill to have my own Joe you're throwing yours aside like it's nothing. What the hell are you going to do when she finds someone else? You don't think that will kill you to watch her with another man, knowing it could have been you?"
"Yes!" he roared. "It will f**king kill me to watch her with another man. Are you f**king happy?" he demanded, ignoring the look of pity on his brother's face as he scrubbed his hands down his face. "I'm not good enough for her. I wouldn't have the first clue about how to treat her."
"What the hell are you talking about? No one would ever treat her better and we both know it."
Eric let out a humorless laugh at that. "Really? What exactly are you basing this on? I sure as hell hope it's not based on how I treated all my old girlfriends because we both know that's exactly how it will be with Joe. I'll grow bored and it will be over and I'll lose her."
"You're avoiding being with her because of your past?" Nathan asked, looking at a loss for words when Eric nodded firmly. Nathan shook his head in disbelief. "You really are a f**king idiot."
Chapter 23
That bastard, Joe thought as she forced herself not to check her phone. She refused to be that woman. There was no way in hell that she was going to wait around for a text message or a phone call from a guy, even if that guy was Eric.
He'd made it more than clear that he had no intentions of calling her this weekend so she wasn't going to worry. She was going to force herself to stay awake during the mind numbingly boring slide show presentation. Then she was going to her hotel room, changing, hitting a bar and getting a drink and having some fun. Then tomorrow and the next day she would come back to this beige classroom that smelled like alcohol wipes and doing this all over again.
She really wished Eric was here. Normally they took all of their refresher courses and continuing education courses, the requirements that OEMS required every EMT to do to keep their EMT ticket active, together. He would keep her entertained while they sat through things like this, but he wasn't here and wouldn't be here tomorrow or the next day.
There was no doubt in her mind that she'd be doing a lot more things in the future without him. He didn't want to be with her and after what they did last night she had no doubt that he was going to start pulling away more and more. She idly wondered while she stared blankly at the graphs blown up on the screen if his reasons for not pursuing this were the same as hers.
He wasn't the best boyfriend and he had to know that by now. He wouldn't want to hurt her. She knew he loved her, but he didn't realize that he was hurting her by doing this. There really was no point in lying and saying that she wasn't afraid that he was going to end up hurting her, but after last night she was willing to take that chance.
Eric wasn't.
She wanted him, but she wasn't going to beg him. He needed to want to give them a chance. If he wasn't.........
Well, he might just get his wish after all. She knew herself well enough to know that it would become hard enough working with him day in and day out, but that didn't mean she wanted to watch as other women threw themselves at him, or worse when he started dating them. When it became too much she'd either switch out to a different station or work in dispatch full time where she wouldn't have to see him.
Of course she'd still see him at family gatherings and that was fine with her. She wasn't willing to give up Nathan or Alive for anything. They were her family and she loved them. For them she'd pretend she was happy when he was around. She'd do the same for him. She'd never stop loving him, but if it made his life easier then she'd move on.
Oh, he still had an ass kicking coming and she fully planned on giving it to him, but she knew she wouldn't be able to stay mad at him even for breaking her heart. He'd move on and so would she.
"If you want the results of your test you can call the office Tuesday," Brian, the instructor from hell, said, catching her attention.
It was over? Finally, she thought as she got to her feet and grabbed the notebook she'd filled up with doodles. That reminded her that she'd have to swing by a store and pick up two more if she had any hopes of staying mildly entertained during the next two days. Of course if Eric was here she'd just draw on his arm to keep herself entertained, but he wasn't so she'd just have to learn to deal.
She headed for the door and quickened her pace when she spotted Alex, a brand spanking new EMT that decided to take the class, following her. Normally she was patient with new EMTs, well she tried to be anyway, and she understood it was an exciting job and that some of them got a little wrapped up in it, but she really didn't think she could take another minute with him.
During her breaks when she just wanted to relax and enjoy the fresh air he'd talked and wouldn't stop talking until Brian announced that the break was over. She could have probably handled a chatter box, but this guy decided that he had to share every single detail of every single call he'd ever been on. He'd been an EMT for all of six months and was sure that he'd seen it all.
She had to laugh at that. She'd been on the job for twelve years and knew damn well that she hadn't seen everything. No two days were alike and that's what she loved about the job. She could probably do this job for a hundred years and still see new things that surprised and shocked her. Alex didn't see it that way. He told her that he was already growing bored with the job and was looking into becoming a paramedic or a fireman.
When she made the mistake of encouraging him, mostly to end the conversation, he listed all the reasons why he should be a fireman. Her only escape had been the woman's room, but it was a short lived escape. He waited for her outside the restroom and jumped right back into his little spiel as though he'd never stopped. He did the same thing during their lunch break, making it impossible for her to get a bite to eat.
Now she was hungry, cranky and in no mood for another minute of listening to another "Whacker" story. She just wanted to go to her hotel room, shower, change and go out for the night. Of course with her luck she'd run into him wherever she went.
When he called her name she pretended that she didn't hear him and jumped into her car. Thank god she'd come straight here otherwise she would have had to walk the quarter mile back to the hotel room and he'd catch up with her. She really hoped he wasn't staying at the same hotel that she was.
Two minutes later she was groaning when she spotted his beat up green pickup truck pulling into the hotel parking lot right behind her. Would this day never end? she wondered. She shut down the engine, grabbed her bag and made a mad dash for the hotel lobby, hoping it would be a quick check-in so that she could escape to her room. Then again the way her luck was going he'd probably end up being her neighbor. She sent up a silent prayer that that wasn't the case as she opened the hotel lobby door and nearly tripped over her own feet.
Nathan and Eric were sitting in dainty chairs that looked really uncomfortable as they were forced to watch some daytime talk show. She ran her eyes quickly over their faces and noted a few bruises and cuts and wondered about that, but just as quickly pushed her curiosity aside.
"Hey, Joe! Wait up," Alex called, drawing Nathan and Eric's attention.
Nathan looked relieved to see her and Eric looked pissed as his eyes shifted from her to the guy trying to get her attention. She was just about to ask them why they were there when Nathan walked over and put his arm around her and gave her a gentle tug in the direction of the hotel clerk.
"Let's check in, shall we?" Nathan asked cheerfully. When she tried to look back at Eric he gave her another gentle tug in the direction of the hotel clerk.
"What's going on?" she asked as she pulled out her license and the credit card she used to hold the room.
"Nothing much," Nathan said, shrugging. "We thought we'd come up and see how the fish were biting."
"Okay," she said slowly, sneaking a peek to find Eric leaning against the wall near the elevators as he glared at something behind her. Frowning, she looked back to find Alex standing behind her and looking eager to continue where they left off.
Silently groaning, she signed her slip, bit her lip when Nathan asked for two key passes to her room and once again wondered when this nightmare would end. She didn't think Eric would bring Nathan up here if he wanted to be with her, which meant he brought Nathan up here for moral support.....for her.
That kind of pissed her off since she'd already figured things out for herself. She didn't need him coming up here and wrecking her already boring weekend with this drama. He didn't want her? That was fine with her. He could tell her and then go on his merry way and she'd work him out of her system starting tonight.
"Let me carry that for you, Joe," Alex said smoothly as he picked up her bag and gestured towards the elevator. He either didn't notice that Nathan was standing next to her or was cocky enough to have already dismissed Nathan, probably the latter.
"No need. I've got it," Eric said coldly as he grabbed the bag away from Alex.
"Who the hell are you?" Alex demanded, crossing his large arms over his chest as he tried to glare up at Eric.
"Her boyfriend, ass**le, so move along," Eric said, shocking the hell out of her.
Alex turned accusing eyes on her. "You didn't say anything about a boyfriend."
She opened her mouth to inform the man that he'd never asked. Hell, he never let her get a word in edgewise. Not that she would have claimed Eric was her boyfriend when he'd made it more than obvious that there would never be anything more between them. But before she could say anything Nathan smoothly stepped in.
"She doesn't talk about him because she's ashamed of him."
Joe couldn't help but nod in agreement. "It's true. I am."
Eric snorted at that as he gave her hand a gentle tug towards the elevator. She couldn't help but feel a little awkward when Nathan and a pouting Alex joined them and Eric still didn't let her hand go. She dared a glance at Nathan to see how he was taking all of this only to catch the man grinning hugely.
She didn't know what was going on, but right then she didn't care. As soon as she got into her room she was taking a hot soothing bath and then she was going out. Whatever brought Eric and Nathan up here could damn well wait until tomorrow, she decided as the elevator doors slid open and Alex practically stomped off.
Biting back a few choice words, she pulled her hand away from Eric, grabbed her bag and followed the signs to her room, hoping the guys got the hint and left her alone. So when they followed her into her room she couldn't exactly say she was really all that surprised.