"Then why the hell do you act like you like them?"
"It makes it easier to keep an eye on you," he explained as he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "It's the same reason why you pretend to like the annoying women I date, Joe. You don't want to be pushed off to the side," he said softly as he entwined their fingers together.
"They really are annoying," she agreed on a sigh.
"I want you safe, Joe."
"I am safe," she said, biting back a groan. What the hell was it going to take for him to see that?
"I hate being away from you and I know if I keep pushing this that you're going to pull away from me so for now I'm going to drop it, but I'm really hoping that you discover that you like dispatching more than working on the truck," he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips that shocked her, but what shocked her even more was her reaction to the simple chaste kiss.
When he moved away from her, cursing softly, she leaned up and brushed her lips against his, unable to help herself. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, but she couldn't help herself. Years of holding back, pretending that she didn't want him, need him shattered with that first kiss last week and any hope of holding back what she felt for this man was gone.
This was probably going to wreck their relationship, but at the moment she didn't care. She needed to hold him, to touch him and be with him more than she needed her next breath.
It wasn't fair that the one man she craved was the one she shouldn't be touching. He was her best friend, the person she counted on, needed, and loved more than anyone on this earth and she was going to lose him over this.
His mouth crashed down on hers, forcing her head back onto the pillow as he devoured her mouth. When his tongue slid into her mouth and tangled with hers she moaned. He released her hands as he kneeled between her legs, putting space between their chests. She cupped the back of his neck to keep his mouth right where she wanted it, afraid that he was going to put a stop to this madness.
He reached between them and grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it up hard along with her sports bra until both of br**sts were bared. She let out a groan of pleasure when he cupped one of her br**sts and gave it a gentle squeeze. When he ground his erection against her she suckled his tongue.
She wrapped her arms around him, loving the combination of warm skin and solid muscle. Her hands slid down his back and beneath the waist of his pants and onto smooth muscle that flexed erotically with each shallow thrust.
"We shouldn't be doing this," Eric said, panting as he moved his mouth to her neck the same time he reached between them to pull her damp panties to the side. He brushed his fingers teasingly over her slit.
"Yes, we should," she said breathlessly as he slid a finger deep inside of her.
"Yeah, we should," he said tightly the next second as he struggled to undo his belt. When he couldn't get the belt off with one hand he unzipped his pants. The sound of his zipper being pulled opened was one of the most erotic sounds she'd ever heard.
"We can't let this wreck what we have," he said, sounding desperate as he removed his finger and replaced it with the large blunt head of his erection.
"It changes nothing," she said, sliding her hands up his back to fist them in his hair and pull his mouth back to hers.
He slammed into her.
She squeezed her eyes shut as she sucked in a sharp breath. Never in her life had she ever felt this full. She'd known that he was large, but this was incredible. He stretched her almost to the point of pain, but she wanted more.
As he moved she cupped the back of her knees and pulled her legs up and to the sides, opening herself up more for him. This time when he slid back inside of her he was buried to the root. He let out a growl of appreciation as he slowly swirled his h*ps in a way that had her whimpering and pleading against his mouth.
"Shhhh," he said quietly against her lips, reminding her that they were not alone. They were surrounded by other bunkrooms and the break room was right down the hall.
He pulled away to kiss his way to her ear. "Do you like that, Joe?" he asked, deepening his movements.
Beyond words now, she nodded as she licked her lips and moved her h*ps against his, desperate for more. If they got a call right now she was pretty sure she would die.
"You have no idea how many times I've imagined doing this to you," he whispered against her ear, his warm breath fanning her sensitive skin and sending a shiver through her body that caused her ni**les to tighten impossibly further.
"Have you ever thought about me f**king you, Joe?"
"Yes!" she hissed quietly, not wanting to draw attention to what they were doing. She had thought about him, from her first time to the last time. It was Eric's face she pictured when she made love to a man. He made her feel safe and loved and she needed that.
"If there wasn't a very real possibility that we'd be interrupted I'd show you all those things I've imagined doing to you over the years," he promised hotly before returning to her mouth.
She wrapped her arms around him as he quickened his thrusts, but when the bed made the telltale sounds that would give them away he slowed his pace once again. The kiss on the other hand was out of control. He didn't hold back and neither did she. She couldn't get enough of him. She loved the way he teased and dueled with her tongue.
It wasn't long before he was swallowing her screams and biting back his own. She felt him harden impossibly further before she felt him come inside of her. It was the first time she'd ever felt a man come inside of her and she couldn't believe how good it felt. She was even more surprised when it set her off into another orgasm.
"Shit," Eric groaned as he continued to thrust inside of her until she stopped squeezing him and her legs dropped back onto the bed while they both desperately tried to catch their breath.
"What the hell are we going to do now?" Eric muttered against the nape of her neck. She wrapped her arms around his sweat slicked back, wishing she had the answer.
Chapter 20
He'd never been more relieved to receive a call from dispatch in the middle of the night as he was right then.
They'd f**ked up.
Why after all these years did he finally give into his body's demands and taken her? He knew the trouble he was courting by doing it. She was his best friend, the only woman besides his mother that he ever loved and he'd just f**ked up big time.
Every time he toyed with the idea of f**king her he always thought that he'd work her out of his system. It was just leftover hormones from when he was a kid and first noticed her, he'd always told himself, but he'd been wrong. If anything having her just made it worse.
He wanted her, now, tomorrow and always. The way his body felt let him know it was going to be a long time before he tired of her. That was a problem because he didn't know if could give her up. He needed her in his life and as great as the sex was, and there was no question in his mind that it was the best sex he'd ever had, he'd gladly give up the chance to touch her again if it meant that she wouldn't leave him.
His chest tightened just thinking about it. He needed her in his life, always. Their friendship came first and he wasn't sure if they'd survive taking the next step, but thankfully dispatch was giving them a chance to step back and focus on something else for the moment. It also gave him a chance to cool down and figure out if he could do this.
What if he f**ked up and hurt her? He'd never cheat on her, hit her or say an unkind word to her, but he did have the ability to piss her right the hell off. With sex involved that might complicate things and she would no longer feel that she was able to come to him for everything. He sure as hell didn't want her confiding in some other guy.
"MVA," Joe said as she hung the phone back up. She ripped the piece of paper she wrote the details of the call on off her small notebook and went to stuff it in her pants pocket only to remember that she wasn't wearing pants. He loved that beautiful blush that crept up her face as she turned to quickly get dressed.
His Joe was shy after sex? He would never have guessed, he thought with a chuckle. He had to wonder what else he didn't know about her. The idea that there were still things to discover about her intrigued him. Even after twenty-years she was still a mystery to him.
He finished tucking in his shirt and headed for the door, pausing only long enough to grab the scrap of paper with the details of the call out of her hand and to give her a quick kiss that seemed to leave her momentarily stunned. She looked so cute standing there looking all confused, but they had a job to do.
"We'll talk later, okay?"
She looked up at him. "All I care about is that this doesn't change anything, Eric. I don't want to lose you."
He gently cupped her cheek, brushing her swollen lips with his thumb. "You'll never lose me, Joe. No matter what we decide to do about this." He pressed a quick kiss to her lips before he took her hand and gave it a small tug in the direction of the door.
*******
"It's gotta be some kind of record," Joe said, fighting back a yawn as Eric pulled the ambulance into the small line of ambulances and a Fire department SUV to fill the gas tank up. He threw the ambulance in park as they waited for their turn at the gas pumps.
It had been a long, weird night and she was more than ready for it to be over. The only thing she wasn't ready for was the "talk" they would have to have. She knew they had to talk about what happened between them, but she just wasn't sure what to say.
The sex had been great, fantastic, and surprisingly she didn't regret it, which was kind of stupid since it could very well be the beginning of the end of their friendship. What were they supposed to do now?
They had sex one time and she didn't exactly equate that with a declaration of love. She knew he loved her and would never hurt, at least not on purpose. This was Eric she was talking about here. There was no arguing that he was the best friend she'd ever had and she would never hurt him or say anything unkind about him, but she couldn't lie.
Eric was a lousy boyfriend.
He treated all the women he dated as annoyances, barely gave them any consideration and had a short attention span. On more than one occasion she had to remind him what his date's name was and jump the hell out of the way when one of them grabbed whatever was nearby and chucked it at him. It never took much for him to get bored and move on.
She'd rather have Eric as a best friend than a boyfriend any day of the week. The best friend she could have for the rest of her life, that is if they got over this little bump in their relationship, but Eric as a boyfriend? He'd be hauling ass in less than a week.
Part of her thought that he'd treat her differently, but that would only make her an idiot. The two of them had been stepping around falling into bed for years and it happened. Dwelling on it would only cause her heartache that she didn't need or want. She loved him, couldn't live without him, but knew that if she had any hopes in keeping him she had to bite back her feelings and laugh this whole thing off when they had their little "talk" later.
"Why don't you head out? I've got this," Eric said, surprising the hell out of her.
Not once in twelve years had he ever offered to put the truck away on his own. Of course she'd never asked, but that's because they enjoyed working together. It didn't hurt that working together to put the truck away meant they could both leave quicker.
She opened her mouth to say no, but then thought better of it. He obviously didn't want to have this talk and neither did she. Common sense said that they should have it soon before it became awkward, but if he was willing to be a coward about it then so was she.
"Are you sure?" she asked, her hand hesitating over the door handle.
"Yeah, go ahead," he said, not bothering to look up from his clipboard.
She climbed out, feeling unsure for the first time since they met. When he still didn't look at her or say anything about what they'd done she shrugged it off and shut the door.
The next thirty minutes were a blur as she hauled ass to grab her bedding, punch out, and drive off. The entire time she was afraid that he was going to change his mind and want to have the talk that she was so not ready to have. By the time she pulled into her driveway she was a mass of nerves. It didn't get any better once she walked into her house.
Every few minutes she'd look up from what she was doing, half expecting Eric to come sauntering in. When he didn't show up an hour later she was both relieved and disappointed. She was glad that they weren't going to have the talk just yet, but she was disappointed because she wanted to see him, be with him.
She was such an idiot, she decided as she headed to her room. She quickly undressed and forced herself to take a long hot shower when all she wanted to do was wait by the phone like some love sick teenage girl. This was bad, this was very bad. If she was going to convince Eric that she could get over what happened between them then she couldn't go around acting like this.
He was her best friend and that's all. That much was clear when she was done with her shower, dressed and hitting her fridge for a drink before she went to bed. She knew that if he wanted to be here that he would already be here, but clearly he'd realized they'd made a mistake.
Fine, she thought, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before heading to her room. If that's what he wanted then that was more than fine with her. She could pretend that he hadn't given her the best sex of her life or that she was dying to touch him again. She was a big girl. She could handle a little rejection. She closed the blinds, darkening the room and flopped down on the bed more than ready to put this day behind her.
She was going to kick his ass, she decided three hours later when she couldn't fall asleep or get him out of her mind. If he didn't want anything to do with her then he could have damn well said so instead of giving her the cold shoulder and treating her like every other woman in his life. She'd been his best friend for over twenty years and deserved a hell of a lot more consideration than he was giving her at the moment.