“Back up,” he said firmly, patting his thigh with his unoccupied hand.
I turned my head away from him before letting my face have that moment of anger I so desperately needed to express. You have to if you ever want a chance to escape. Repeating that, along with don’t cry, inside my head hardly helped, but it gave me the courage to follow through. With a tightened jaw, I crawled backwards. When I got within reach, he grabbed my h*ps and guided me up his thighs. I cringed when I felt his dick pierce me enough to push his tip in. Then his hands moved higher and lifted me upward, bringing me down on him, forcing me to accept him as I sat up in his lap. I didn’t like the way my damn muscles trembled as he squeezed in, nor the guttural rumbling emitted by his throat, his fingers digging deep into my thighs. After adapting himself inside, he whispered, “Arms up.” I cringed inwardly, but both of them lifted north long enough for him to pull my slip over my head.
I never wanted to cover myself up so badly. Even though he was behind and couldn’t really see anything, this was the worst position he’d ever held me in. Because it was so intimate the way my body could curl into his, and he proved it when he guided my head to roll back over his shoulder. He resumed sucking spots on my neck and shoulder, which I was sure would leave marks. His hands slipped across my stomach, one heading south, one going north. My left breast got squeezed the same time he began rubbing the outside of my sex. Again, I couldn’t stop the inhalation and shock as my body seized and arced uncontrollably, not once but several times as he repeated his assault. I couldn’t help it. All that twitching made me squeeze his shaft as it swelled inside me, made my h*ps jerk in random directions. Liking the attention, his hands moved to my hips, making them circle him. Bastard knew he was arousing me as much as he was himself, and he fanned the fire by lifting me just a few inches before dropping me back down again, teasing the both of us.
I squinted my eyes shut, trying to ignore the sensations bursting to life as he lifted me higher and higher, each time pushing me down more aggressively than the last. He couldn’t keep up with the kisses now that he had my body jerking up and down so quickly, and his grunts were in rhythm with his pile drives. His hands moved up to fondle my br**sts, making more damn shivers travel alongst my spine. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized my damn body was driving our thrusts voluntarily and that I was moaning in a way I shouldn’t be. Body’s pleasure be damned, I came to an abrupt stop. Zander, however, didn’t agree with the timing of my rebellion, because the next thing I knew I was shoved forward onto my stomach. He snatched my thighs and I felt his legs lift up beneath me, coming to a stand on his knees. Keeping my thighs in the air, he took control and lunged his hips.
I never should’ve stopped before, because at least I had some control over what was happening. Now, he had me locked in a position that not only had me quivering because he could push so much deeper, but I was humiliating myself with some f**ked up combination of screams, whimpers and moans that I couldn’t stop making. My hands fisted the sheet out to my sides as he slammed even harder into me, drilling me until I came. He paused to enjoy the moment, then got himself to come shortly after.
I was gasping, even though he led the assault. I buried my forehead into the bed like a f**king ostrich, as if I could hide from the shame that finally began to fester inside me. What the hell was I thinking going along with this? Suddenly my plan of doing everything he wanted in order to gain his trust more quickly didn’t seem like such a bright idea. How could I possibly let him do that to me from here on out? What if it took years for me to get out of here? Are you telling me I’d have to let him f**k me like that a thousand times before escaping?
I couldn’t do it.
I tried to suffocate myself right there in the bed, denying my body the oxygen it was begging for. Fuck my body. It just begged for him to f**k me! Letting him ram into me wasn’t enough. My goddamn body actually arced and lifted my h*ps so he could have a better angle to jab me that much deeper! Fuck the air it wanted now that it was coming down off its high.
I wanted to cry, but I guess when your body was starving for air, tears weren’t capable of shedding. Like their needs were deprioritized. My lungs and chest were burning, cells screaming in their stationary positions throughout my body, forced to lie there and die. An intense pain shot through my head and I twisted to the side for air, slowly easing the pain throughout my insides.
Zander was still inside me, splayed over my backside lazily. It gave me great pleasure to squeeze the shit out of him now that he was deflating and overly sensitive. He hissed and pulled himself out slowly, and I refused to make it easy for him. It was his turn to gasp once he was finally out. I mildly groaned, the muscles he just abandoned still vibrating and aching with heat.
He fell back on the bed beside me, an evil sort of chuckle following once he recovered. “There’s the Natalie I remember. I’m not even going to punish you for that because that was the best f**k I’ve had in a long time. And judging by the sounds coming off of you, you’re an extremely satisfied customer.”
God, I hated him. Again, I tried to bury my head in shame. I felt gross in the aftermath. I wanted to drench every part of my body that he touched in scalding hot water, even on the inside. “God I hope the cameras got a good angle of that.”
I whimpered again, sinking even farther into the fluff of the feather bed beneath me. I could feel his grin despite my hidey-hole, particularly by the way he kept moaning his content. “You have the tightest little pu**y. Like a damn boa constrictor wrapping around my cock. Never lets up the whole way through.”
I didn’t want to hear anymore. “Can I shower now?” Seriously, I felt gross inside and out. I just wanted to go crouch down in the shower and wait until I decomposed into tiny enough pieces to wash down the drain. I was that filthy.
I felt him roll off the bed and heard the door slide open. It was the only reason I removed myself from that bed. He was no longer in view, and my chest sank when I realized he might’ve taken that as an invitation to shower with me. Like I ever had a choice…
Spotting him in the closet as I came in, I immediately darted to the shower. With any luck he’d just put on clothes and go. I walked between the tiled walls and curved into the shower, immediately starting the hot water. I gently wash myself down below, then just stood there with my head hanging in the heavy stream. I refused to think. About anything.
What hope I had of being left alone shattered the moment foreign fingers found my hips. No… God, not again. Not already. But all he did was lightly push me aside so he could get under the water himself. I left the shower as casually as I could, knowing that if I stuck around, it’d only be an invitation for him to keep touching me.
I buried myself in the back part of the chaise, even though he’d left the room two hours ago without bothering me. He just cocked his eyebrows suggestively and thanked me for the good time. Fucker.
There was nothing to do in this room. Nothing to read. No remote to turn on the TV. I suppose I could’ve moved the chaise and stood on it to find the manual controls, but I was pretty sure that would be frowned upon. He had to grant me the ability to watch TV. Like it was a reward or something. For some wicked reason, he wanted to leave me with nothing but my thoughts while he was gone, leaving me to fear his return, leaving me to fight back the tears that fled for each moment of weakness that passed through my defenses.
After a while I finally moved to lie down in bed. Wasn’t like the chaise was any safer anyways. Half an hour later the door slid open and I shot up in bed, instinctively curling myself into a ball, not leaving myself vulnerable like I did before. Zander came in, eyeing me with a curiosity I didn’t want to explore. There was a hint of a smile as he came to a stop at the end of the bed. For some reason he kept incredibly silent as he stared me down. My skin shivered and my arms locked tightly around my knees.
“What?” I dared to ask, but still completely fearful to learn the answer.
“Are you ready to tell me the truth yet?”
“About what?” I asked innocently. What I told him last night wasn’t a complete lie, if that was what he was referring to. I didn’t want to be beaten. If I had the choice between that and sex, I would force my way through the sex, because he was going to take that from me either way. Better not to be beaten between.
“About what your game is. Or are you going to keep going on pretending…” he climbed over just enough to snatch my ankles. I yelped as he yanked me and jumped back, pulling me until my ass reached the edge. His hands gripped beneath both knees and spread me open before him. I was flat on my back but hitched up on my elbows now, my chest heaving, my hands palm down on the sheets at my sides. “…that this doesn’t bother you?”
He didn’t move to do anything. He wasn’t even looking between my legs suggestively, but directly into my eyes. I swallowed hard, my breaths repeatedly deep, and I hated that it drew that much more attention to my br**sts. Because that was where his eyes went next.
“I didn’t lie.” His damn gaze didn’t move. “I thought I was giving you want you wanted.”
That got him to look back north. He let out a single laugh. “Since when are you keen on giving me what I want? You know, you were a lot more fun when you had Veronica to protect. Perhaps I should bring in another girl after all.”
“What? No! You said it would just be us!”
He laughed again. His hands were hot against my kneecaps and I desperately wanted him to let go. But I also knew he wouldn’t. Because he loved to make me uncomfortable. And he was waiting for me to squirm, to fight the hold he had on me.
“I’m entitled to change my mind at any time. You know who’s cute?” he asked, his eyes a little too eager for comfort. “That sister of yours. Thea.”
I think my f**king heart stopped. That was the second time he’d threatened her in two days. “No! You leave her alone!”
I got my wish. His right hand dropped from my leg, but it came down hard against my cheek. I hardly had time to turn away, but it was useless; there just wasn’t anywhere for it go. I didn’t scream upon impact, but tears shot from my eyes as my mouth hung wide, my breaths panting as I froze in place, waiting for the intense stinging to fade.
“I knew you had some fight left in you. This bending over and taking it thing you’ve got going on just isn’t your style.”
Jesus, the ass**le was actually thrilled that I yelled. I let my body collapse to the bed, because it was powerless to stop him from what he was going to do next, and I refused to play a game that would only excite him further.
19
I couldn’t shake the grogginess away. He repeatedly stuck me with something that kept me drowsy yet didn’t make me fall asleep. I felt miserably weak, and my ears were killing me, the ache behind my eyes pounding away because of it. For the past two days, my television had done nothing but shown reruns of that shithead violating Megan. Some of which I knew happened the last time he had her, because he was blond and a second girl was sometimes in the same frame. Veronica, I gathered.
I tried not to watch, tried even harder not to listen. I didn’t know what was worse. Hearing Megan cry and yell for him to stop whatever he was doing, or hear all the sounds she was making this time around, which tried to fool me into believing she was actually enjoying it.
I knew she wasn’t. I knew she was trying to fake it, just like he announced to me yesterday. But it still killed me inside, because those were the kind of sounds she made for me. My intestines had been twisted and knotted for so long the pressure moved up to my stomach, making the acid pop with explosions. I needed to throw up.
Earlier this morning he came in to loosen my chains and explain how much time I had in the bathroom. It gave me enough slack to move about the room and go all the way to the shower. The heat drained me of even more energy, but I still took the longest rinse I could before making my way back out. Oddly enough, he didn’t tighten me back up again. I wanted to hide out in the bathroom and shut the door behind me, but I knew it would only lead me to be tightened, so I collapsed on the bed and draped my arms over my eyes and tried to ignore the sound as much as possible.
The only upside to this type of torture was that my head hurt too much to focus on my mom and what she must be going through right now, fearing she may never see me again. I was all she had left in the world. She was supposed to leave this life long before I did, but in a sense, I was leaving it first if I didn’t get the f**k out of here.
The clanking noise returned. I sat up and watched as the length in my chains decreased. I groaned and got down from the bed, automatically sitting where I knew it would force me in a minute anyway, flat against the wall with my hands to the floor at my sides. Once the noise stopped and I was secured, he came through the door.
He left a sandwich in front of me and a glass of water. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t ravenous and thankful to see it. Using his phone, he thumbed a button and loosened my chains just enough to reach the food. I didn’t thank him – I might’ve been drugged and starving but I wasn’t f**king delusional from it yet. I just picked it up and began eating. I never thought PB&J could taste so good.
He sat down on the ottoman and watched me. I looked up momentarily, but if he was looking for casual conversation, he could go f**k himself. But then I realized he wouldn’t do that. He’d go f**k Megan. So I forced myself to talk to him. If anything, to reduce the time he spent with her.
“Why am I here?” I muttered, not bothering to hide my obvious dislike of him.
“Insurance,” he stated plainly. “I’m still waiting to see if she rebels. And if she does, I’ve got you to screw around with like I did Veronica.” He turned his attention to the TV angled off behind him. I had an inkling of what screwing around referred to, having been forced to endure the interactions he shared with both girls in the room. And damn if it hadn’t been effective at breaking Megan down. I always knew she had a good heart, and I understood why she tried to do the things she did to protect that other girl.