She raises her brows at me, her expression going neutral when Shep’s gaze meets hers. “Yeah. You can’t keep her all to yourself all the time, Gabe.”
“Says who?” He tightens his arm around my waist and pulls me in so close I collide with his very warm, very solid body. “I’m selfish. Everyone knows this. If I want to keep Lucy to myself, I will.” He grins down at me, though I see something in his gaze. A flash of uncertainty, a hint of vulnerability that makes me wonder what he’s thinking. Is he still worried about the potential pregnancy? We haven’t really discussed it lately. I have no idea what he’s thinking. I’m completely in the dark.
But then again, when it comes to me and what I’m thinking, so is he.
“So I’ll be your kept woman?” I joke, but I sound tense, even to my own ears. “Is that what you’re saying?”
His smile fades, replaced with a frown.
“Um, I think that’s my cue to get out of here,” Jade mutters before she takes off.
The moment she’s gone I pull myself out of Gabe’s hold so I can face him. “What’s going on with you?”
He frowns. “Uh, dinner is almost ready? I was hoping you’d come inside and help me.”
I close my eyes briefly, fighting back the stupid tears that have been lying in wait all day. All week. “What are we doing, Gabe?”
“I thought we were hanging out with friends and eating and drinking, having a good time. But I’m starting to think you mean something else.” He pauses and I see the fire in his eyes. Are we actually having a minor fight? Yeah, I think we are. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, Luce.”
“I don’t know. Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s wrong.” I throw my hands up in the air, feeling stupid for making a big deal out of…nothing? I’m overly emotional and I can’t even begin to understand why.
Oh, you know why. You just don’t want to face the truth yet.
“So uh, have you started yet?” he asks, his voice low.
“Have I started what?” I’m playing stupid on purpose. I know exactly what he’s talking about.
He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. I love it when he does that. I love his hair. I love everything about him. But I don’t think we know what we’re doing when it comes to all of this serious stuff. “Your period. Have you started yet?”
I slowly shake my head, not saying a word, and he blows out a frustrated breath.
“How late are you?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. I do know. “Ten days?” More like twelve, maybe even thirteen. Oh yay, thirteen, a lucky number.
Not.
“Have you taken a test yet?”
“No.” I don’t want to waste the money on one. I’m trying to save every penny because I’m going to need those pennies come next semester when money’s going to become even tighter.
“Why not? We need to figure out what’s going on,” he starts, but I cut him off.
“Don’t you mean I need to figure out what’s going on? Considering I’m the one whose dealing with all of this?” I take a step back when he reaches for me. “Don’t touch me, Gabe. Don’t try and play this off with a few choice kisses and reassuring hugs. I’m kind of freaking out here.”
“I am too, Luce. Seriously. I want to help you. Be there for you.” He lets his hands drop to his sides. “But I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I don’t know what I want from you either,” I return.
“Yo, G!” Tristan yells from the back porch. He was manning the barbecue last I saw. He really irritates me sometimes. He’s just so…arrogant. And I don’t think he likes me much. Jade said he didn’t like her at first either so I don’t know what his problem is. “Where you at? Dinner’s about to be served!”
I roll my eyes. “Your people request your presence.”
Gabe glares and I immediately feel like a shit. I’m being awful, but it’s like I can’t help myself. I’m an emotional wreck. “I’d like you to come with me,” he says. “That is, if you want.”
Swallowing hard, I stand up straighter and tell myself to get over it. All the stress and bullshit of the past few weeks is getting to me and making me act like a jerk. “I’d like that.” I pause. “And I’m sorry.”
He doesn’t even hesitate, just pulls me to him and hugs me, my face buried against his chest, his hand cupping the back of my head. “I’m sorry, too. For whatever I did. I don’t like thinking you’re mad at me, Luce. It sucks.”
“I don’t want you mad at me either,” I confess, trying my best to push past the fear.
But it’s no use. He’s going to hate me when the truth comes out. It’s something I have to deal with whether I want to or not.
“Tomorrow I want to buy you a pregnancy test. We’ll do this together, okay?”
I nod, pressing my face more firmly against his chest. He smells so good. Feels even better. Having him hold me like this would never grow old. “Okay.” His chest muffles my voice and I breathe deep, inhaling his fresh clean scent.
“I’m here for you no matter what.”
I hope he means that.
I hate that Lucy and I argued tonight. I don’t like seeing her stressed and I swear at one point she was going to cry. That’s the last thing I wanted to see. Her tears would kill me. She’s extra emotional lately and that scares the ever-loving crap out of me. Seeing her act like that just reconfirms my suspicions.