Or drop dead from nerves.
She raises one delicate, perfectly arched brow. “I haven’t said squat to Shep since I saw you there and that was three days ago. I think you can trust me. I hope you can.” She pauses. “I thought we were friends.”
Great. The guilt trip tactic. Works like a charm every time. “I was at the office because I need financial aid to pay for my tuition. Actually, I’m not even getting enough financial aid. I’ll most likely have to get a student loan for next semester and the next two years after that in order to pay for my schooling.”
“So you don’t come from money,” Jade says slowly.
I shake my head. “My mom had me when she was sixteen. I have no idea who my father is.” My throat grows tight. God, that was hard to admit. I don’t think Jade will judge me but it’s hard to let go of those old insecurities.
Jade winces. “So you don’t have a rich father who neglects you and leaves you alone in his coastal mansion so he can tour the world with his young, beautiful girlfriend.”
My mouth drops open. “How did you…”
“Shep told me.” She shrugs. “And Gabe told him. They tell each other everything. That’s what friends do.”
Her words aren’t lost on me, but they make me feel like crap just the same. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. Gabe and I were only supposed to be a summer fling. Nothing serious, just a few weeks of fun. I didn’t realize we would end up at the same school together.”
Or that I’d have to keep up the pretense of pretending to be a rich girl. Not that I’d worked at it real hard. The clues to my true financial status are there, hidden between the lies. Gabe just never noticed.
“So how did this all come to be anyway?” Jade asks.
I tell her the entire story, keeping out the private bits—and not mentioning the current pregnancy scare. Yes, I’m still late, God, please kill me now and take me out of my misery for good. All I want is to start my period and prove that everything’s going to be okay. At least baby-wise.
My future is still uncertain though, and I hate that.
I explain everything to Jade, how Gabe and I met, how I became friends with his younger sister, the entire summer and how I pretended to be what I thought Gabe wanted me to be. How I now feel like a shit for all the lies, and how scared I am of Gabe’s reaction to the truth.
“He’ll forgive you and accept you for who you are,” she says the moment I finish my ridiculously tangled up story. “You want my personal opinion? I think he’s madly in love with you. He just hasn’t realized it yet.”
Ha, I wish. The knowing smile Jade gives me is supposed to be reassuring but it’s not working. I know he’s madly in lust with me. He downright worships my body and I love that. Really I do. I’m fairly certain I’m in love with him, I don’t doubt that for an instant.
But does Gabe love me? I don’t think so. Not yet. He cares. That’s all that matters.
Supposedly.
“I’m not so sure about that,” I say with a faint smile. “And I’m pretty positive his feelings will change once he finds out I’ve been keeping this from him.”
The look Jade sends me is painfully sympathetic. I think she feels sorry for me and I really don’t deserve her sympathy. “That’s why you need to tell him now. You can’t keep this from him much longer. It’ll be better if he hears it from you versus finding out the truth from someone else.”
“Do you mean that you’re going to be the one who’ll tell him the truth?” Is she threatening me?
“No, of course not. That’s up to you. I won’t tell Shep anything either,” she says. “I promise.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just…I’m afraid he’ll be mad at me. And I don’t want to ruin this. I really care for him,” I admit, my voice so soft I almost can’t hear myself. My throat feels tight and my eyes sting. God, if I cry right now, I will be so pissed.
“He won’t be mad. He’ll understand how your bogus story happened.”
“I don’t think he’ll care about the money thing, it’s the fact that I lied. That I’ve been lying this entire time,” I explain, needing her to know where I’m coming from. The money situation is no biggie. He’s a bazillionaire and I’m a broke joke. That’s fine.
It’s all the lies. I’m proving to him that I’m untrustworthy. And once trust has been broken…how will I ever get it back?
“I don’t know what to say. I can only suggest that you tell him the truth, and soon. Before you find yourself digging an even deeper hole,” she suggests, her voice, her face kind. I know she’s trying to reassure me and I appreciate that, but I think I’m beyond reassurance. Everything is piling up on me and I feel like I’m about to lose it.
Telling Gabe the truth now? Could cause me to lose him.
And that’s a risk I’m not willing to take.
“Why are you ladies hiding out here in the corner?”
I whirl around on a gasp when I see Gabe approach, that ever present smile curving his mouth. He comes to me, dropping a kiss on my lips and sliding his arm around my waist as he turns to face Jade. “Why are you monopolizing my woman?”
My heart beats triple time at hearing him call me his woman. I really hate when he says things like that. His words give me too much hope. “We were just talking,” I tell him before Jade can say anything.