Whereas Zane Kavanaugh basically liked to fuck his way through women, the man that looks back in the mirror at me now finds pleasure in hearing about Cady’s day, or the crazy antics of her best friend, Teagan, who is apparently like a female version of me… or so Cady says. I want to hear all about the pathetic guy that sits beside her in her Educational and Social Policy class, and whether or not he’s grown a pair of balls big enough to ask out the girl that sits on the other side of him. He apparently whines to Cady about it quite a bit, and it’s hilarious the way she tries to buck him up to no avail. She’s made it her mission to fortify his backbone this module—they call them modules, not semesters—and get him a date.
My home screen appears on my Mac, and I quickly hit the mail icon. It’s not until my breath gushes out in relief over seeing an email from Cady that I realize I had needed to hear from her a little too much. So, in order to prove to myself that my entire existence isn’t focused on hearing from the black-haired, blue-eyed temptress, I purposely ignore her email and scroll through the others.
That lasts all of about thirty seconds. Then I’m clicking on IrishLass1990, so I can get my daily dose of Cady.
To: Zane Kavanaugh
From: Cady Dunne
Subject: Victory At Last
Date: September 12, 2014
I am pleased to inform you that my meek little classmate has finally built up enough nerve to approach her. God, Zane… my heart was pounding as I watched him walk up to her after class, repetitively wiping his hands on his pants because you and I both know how sweaty they were, right? I swear… his face was actually a shade of green when she made eye contact with him. But it went off better than expected. His stutter was to a minimum and even though he kept glancing at me for emotional reassurance, he got the words out. I think it was something like, “Wouldyoupleasegooutwithme?” He practically screamed it at her and it came out so fast, I couldn’t understand what he said, and I know she didn’t either.
I thought for sure he was doomed but then he took a deep breath, which is exactly what I advised him to do if he got nervous, and tried again… this time a little slower, and a little clearer. It must have been said with a great deal of charm too because before I knew it, she was smiling at him and giving him her number.
Score!!!
My work is done, and now I feel complete.
So, what are you up to? I’m thinking you are probably on the plane right now. Right? I bet you are so excited to see your family. I can’t even imagine living so far from mine, especially as close as we are. And, because I do know, in fact, how close you are to your parents and your “bratty little sister,” who I am quite positive is not bratty at all despite how many times you tell me that, I can guess how you must feel living so far away from them.
My advice is to relax and enjoy these last few days you have off before training camp starts. Because your ass is getting ready to get super busy.
Okay… have to run. Teagan’s here and we’re going out tonight. I hope she doesn’t keep yammering at me to go out with her co-worker. You know, the one I told you about. I might just have to give in so she’ll shut up. Have you ever been on a blind date before? The thought of it makes me nervous, but maybe I’m being silly.
Okay, I’m really out…
Have fun visiting your family! Talk soon.
Cheers,
Cady
My stomach dips and rolls, not having a damn thing to do with a turbulent flight. She had mentioned in her last email to me that Teagan was trying to set her up on a date with some dude. An architect, apparently, which I’m betting makes him an uber douche.
I sort of just ignored that little piece of information she had handed out to me. I’m not even going to mention it when I write back. I won’t mention it because my heart wants me to tell her not to do it. There are a million reasons I can throw out to her to dissuade her from going out with this guy, but my fears are keeping me silent. I don’t want her to think this is anything more than a friendship, and if I ever admit to her that my blood boils with jealous thoughts over the mere idea of her going out with someone, she’d think I am certifiably crazy.
Cady has never hinted at wanting anything more than the easy friendship we’ve slipped into. Our emails are usually light and chatty, but we’ve talked about some deep things as well, which has done nothing but solidify the bonds we’re creating. Yet neither one of us have ever mentioned that night again after that first set of emails, and it’s almost like it’s become taboo to talk about the fact that she and I almost killed each other with an overdose of orgasms.
We don’t talk about it, but I sure as fuck can’t stop thinking about it. Every woman I meet fails to live up to Cady. I’ve been out clubbing a few times with my teammates, squeezing the most out of my summer vacation. I’ve had plenty of women come on to me, even once had a set of twin sisters wanting to come home with me.
And every fucking time, I said no.
Like a fucking loser… I said no.
I have no commitment to Cady. She would never expect me to stay monogamous to her, and I don’t expect the same of her. We had a one-night experience that we both agreed would never recur because we didn’t live near each other. Instead, we built a solid and close-knit friendship. In fact, I’d say it was my closest friendship at this point in my life.
But that’s all it is. It’s all it can ever be, because I can’t fucking see her… touch her… taste her. You can’t have a relationship like that outside of the bounds of friendship. It just can’t work, and so, I can’t be mad or jealous about her going out with someone.