I’m sorry and I really, really want to keep talking. Stay friends. You know, continue on the way we have.
Cady
I don’t hesitate in my response, even as my chest aches with an odd feeling of emptiness that I’ve never felt before.
To: Cady Dunne
From: Zane Kavanaugh
Subject: I Get It!
Date: September 16, 2014
I can say the same to you… you’ve come to know me well enough the last few weeks with our constant and lengthy emails to know that I would never consider you a booty-call. While I’m sure if you came to visit that the sex would be just as stellar as before, I can also assure you that wouldn’t be the only thing we would do. I thought we could go out on a date with Linc and Ever, and then you could watch one of my games.
So I’m telling you… it wouldn’t be a booty-call, although I certainly would be fucking you soundly. But I really did want to see you… spend some time with you.
Zane
She’s waiting for my response on the other end, so I quickly hit send and stare at my screen—just waiting to see what she says. It takes a little less than three minutes to get her response.
To: Zane Kavanaugh
From: Cady Dunne
Subject: Re: I Get It!
Date: September 16, 2014
God, I’m so sorry, Zane. I really didn’t mean that you thought of me that way. I just will feel that way about myself. I mean, really… this can’t go anywhere, right? I could fly out for a few days, and then what? We go back to emailing—maybe a few phone calls. And then I come visit next summer? When you finish your season? Because we know you don’t have time to come visit me.
I think there’s a reason that long-distance relationships don’t generally work out, and we need to be honest about this. It has disaster written all over it because I don’t believe just spending time together during your off-season is ultimately going to be enough.
Here’s the thing… I care about you. It’s true. You and I have shared so much the last few weeks in our emails, and we have a definite intimate connection. But truly, my heart wouldn’t be able to stand some type of half-assed, long-distance affair with you. I’m not built that way.
I totally understand if you want to break things off completely. I mean… do guys even really do just “friendships”? (That was supposed to be sort of funny and sarcastic by the way).
Cady
Fuck, fuck, fuck! My temper flares but, deep down, I know she’s right. I know that while I invited her for one visit, that wouldn’t be enough for either of us. As a woman, her heart would be involved. As a man, I’d never physically be satisfied with only seeing her a few times a year. The distance between us is a killer.
To: Cady Dunne
From: Zane Kavanaugh
Subject: Guys Can Do Friendships
Date: September 16, 2014
This fucking sucks, but I get it. I think you’re right. I hate you’re right, but I admit that you are. You deserve more than that, and shit Cady… I deserve more than that too.
We haven’t really talked about it before, but I’m not a relationship type of dude. I’m sure you wouldn’t be surprised though to learn that I’ve been enjoying “the single life” for the last few years. I never thought I’d really find someone that would want to make me settle down.
The thing that really sucks is that I’m betting you would be that person. That is, if we didn’t live so far away from each other.
To answer your question… yes, guys can do friendships. Well, at least this guy can. I want to stay in touch, continue what we have, even though it can’t be exactly what I want. Let’s go for it, I say.
I’m going to log off for now. I have to get to the gym for a workout soon. Talk later.
Zane
P.S. You’re a hell of a woman, Cady Dunne.
I purposely don’t mention the upcoming date she has. While every bone in my body is still infused with jealousy, I don’t have the right to let her know about it. Not when we just agreed we’d only be friends.
Shutting my laptop, I lean back in my chair and pick up my apple. Taking another bite, I chew it thoughtfully, wondering what would happen if Cady lived here… in Phoenix. Would I truly give up the single life? All the beautiful and horny women that are in a never-ending supply around here?
Yeah, I most definitely would. Cady absolutely outshines any woman I’ve been with. She’s sexy, adventurous, bright, and witty. Her family values and work ethic are in line with mine. We never seem to be at a loss for things to talk about. Even what others would see as the most boring details of her life are so fucking interesting to me for some reason.
But that’s all fancy wishes on my part to even fantasize about it. Cady lives in Ireland. I live in the States. I can’t give up my hockey career, and she can’t give up her education… especially when we barely know each other.
With a sigh, I get up from my desk, tossing the half-eaten apple in the garbage can. I tell myself that I’m letting this go, and I’m going to enjoy what I can about Cady.
Chapter 7
Cady
October
“It’s getting late and I have an early appointment tomorrow, so I’m going to have to call it a night,” Colin says as he stands up from the couch where he’s sitting beside me.
I rise up alongside of him, as do Renner and Cillian as they sit in the chairs on the other side of my coffee table. Colin reaches out to shake their hands.
“It was nice meeting you both,” he says politely… in that clipped, English accent of his. “We should do this again some time.”