“It has been two weeks,” I gritted out.
Eli seemed to hunch in on himself, and his face showed an exhaustion I couldn’t begin to imagine. “I know, and I’m sorry. I just got back from Texas last night after being there for a week, and I couldn’t let myself call you once I realized everything. Because I knew the second I heard your voice I would say it all, and you need to hear this in person.”
He started to walk inside, so I moved around the door and mostly shut it behind me so I was blocking his way. Eli’s brows drew together, and I just shook my head. “It’s really not a good time right now.”
It took a few seconds before understanding crossed his features. “He’s here? Did he stay the night?” His chest’s movements got more exaggerated, and his blue eyes narrowed.
Eli was about to explode.
“I think you should go.”
“Did. He. Stay.”
“You don’t have the right to know that anymore, Eli. You made this decision. You decided there wouldn’t be anything between us, and then you threw our friendship away.”
His face softened and he stepped closer. “I never wanted to throw our friendship away, Pay. You’re my best friend; you always will be. The thought of losing you kills me. I haven’t talked to you because I thought you wouldn’t want to hear from me after that, and I didn’t even know what to say to you. I felt like the biggest kind of asshole and I didn’t know how to face you after what I’d put you through for years. But, Paisley, I don’t regret any of that nearly as much as I regret not realizing I was in love with you long before now.”
My lips parted on a nearly inaudible gasp, and the ache inside me grew at hearing Eli say those words. Words I had been craving from him for twelve years.
His large hands cupped my cheeks and tilted my head back to look at him. “I love you, Paisley Morro. I’m in love with you. I can’t lose you.”
I’d wanted this, waited for this, and dreamt about this day for years. But after talking with Jason and Kristen . . . after two weeks of nothing from him . . . I couldn’t tell if the passion and honesty in his voice was sincere, or something my mind was making up. As much as it killed me, I shook my head and stepped away from his grasp.
“You’re just saying that because you want your wingman back, Eli. I can’t be her anymore. I’m sorry.”
“Paisley—”
“Please, go home.” Stepping into my apartment, I shut and locked the door, and stood there for long seconds as I tried to compose myself. When I turned around, Brett was standing a few feet away watching me, and I knew from his expression that he’d heard every word. “I guess I should explain that,” I whispered.
With a sad smile, he nodded and turned to follow me to the couch, then sat stiffly as he waited for the story.
September 20, 2013
Eli
I LOOKED UP when a sandwich was dropped on my desk, and shot Jason a glare before I went back to working.
“You’re welcome for feeding you.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“You look like shit.”
“Appreciate it.”
“I knew this was going to happen,” he continued, and I sat back in my desk chair and sighed.
“So you’re coming in here to throw it in my face now? That’s what this is?” I held my hands out and shrugged. “Go for it. Say, ‘I told you so.’ Tell me how you tried to warn me that I was going to lose my best friend.”
He raised an eyebrow at me and unwrapped his sandwich. “Looks like you’re telling yourself that enough for me. So I’ll just sit here and eat.”
“Nice,” I sneered.
“Everyone’s going to O’Malley’s tonight, are you going to show?”
I rubbed at my aching temples and closed my eyes. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because you’ve been hiding ever since she told you how she felt. You’ve been gone from everything we normally do the last couple weeks—I don’t know why I would possibly think you wouldn’t show.”
“I was gone for a week dealing with shit you wouldn’t understand. And before that, my best friend had blown my world and I felt like shit for everything I’d ever done to her. I didn’t know how to be around her then.”
“And now?”
My eyes lifted to meet his and I swallowed roughly. “And now she’s moving on with her life, and I’m too late.”
Jason was quiet for a long time after that as he ate his sandwich. I still hadn’t touched mine by the time he asked, “What made you finally realize you were in love with her?”
I didn’t know if Paisley had told Kristen and Jason, or if he just guessed it by the way I’d been acting this whole week, but I wasn’t surprised by his question. “Last week I almost lost one of my sisters and my dad, both within twenty-four hours. I hated that with all that bullshit going on I felt like I couldn’t even call Paisley to tell her what was happening. I hated that I’d already lost her. And it hurt—it hurt so much more than I could’ve ever imagined it would. Then my sister said something in reference to her fiancé, and it all just clicked. You remember how you told me I would be losing my best friend, not just my wingman?”
Jason nodded as he stared at me intently.
“My sister Rachel said something about the other half of her soul. And I knew it right then. The pain, feeling like nothing would be right again, all of it. I just thought to myself that I’d lost the girl who could touch my soul. I knew I was in love with her, and couldn’t think of a time when I wasn’t in love with her.”