Pure, utter disappointment.
He obviously isn’t attracted to me in that way and I have to accept that. Unable to stop myself, I glance up to see his eyes on me. I see him grimace slightly, caught doing the walk of shame.
Is it even called that for a man?
Not wanting it to be awkward, I force myself to say something. “Hey, Xander.”
It isn’t his fault that he doesn’t want me. We can be friends. I can keep the fact that I am attracted to him more than I’ve ever been attracted to anyone before in my life to myself.
“Hey, Trillian,” he says in that husky voice of his. He stares at my house and then looks back at me. “You live next door?”
I nod. “I do. Didn’t Zach mention that?”
He scowls. “No, no, he didn’t. He’s spoken about his neighbour before, but I didn’t realise it was you.”
“Oh,” I say. “Well, yeah, that’s me. Anyway, I’ll see you around. I hope you had fun last night.”
I cringe, covering my face with my hair, using it as a shield.
Yes, I just said that.
Kill me now.
I get into my car and pull out of the driveway, only to see Xander standing there watching me. Forcing myself to look away, I turn right onto the road. I have to get to work. I don’t have time to think about Xander and what he was up to last night. It doesn’t even matter anymore. So I have a little crush on him, big deal. It isn’t like I’m in love with him. I just met him, for Christ’s sake.
When I arrive at work, I realise that I left the coffee on top of my car and drove away with it.
No wonder Xander was staring.
He must think I’m a complete idiot.
Cringing, I cover my face with my hands for a second before getting a wet cloth from work to wipe the coffee from my car. Then, with a heavy sigh, I walk back into Candy Creamery to start my shift.
*****
I’m about to clock out when Richard walks in. I remember what Amanda said about him coming out last night, but I didn’t see him.
“Hey, Richard, what can I get you?” I ask politely.
“The usual, please,” he says, smiling. “I was hoping to see you last night, but apparently, I just missed you.”
Well, that explains it.
I scoop up some chocolate ice cream and put it in a wafer cone. “Yeah, it was a good night.”
Richard shifts on his feet. “Are you seeing anyone, Trillian?”
I hand him the cone and bite my bottom lip. How do you explain to someone that no, you aren’t seeing anyone, but you also aren’t interested, without hurting their feelings? There is nothing wrong with Richard, and I’m sure he would make a woman very lucky, but that woman isn’t going to be me.
“No, I’m not,” I mumble, taking the ten-dollar note from his hand as he reaches out with it.
“Are you free next weekend? I thought maybe I could…” He trails off and I lift my eyes from the cash register to see Zach walking in. He stands next to Richard.
“Trill, gimme some ice cream,” Zach says, grinning.
I shake my head.
He’s standing here, dressed in all black, wearing his cut, demanding ice cream like a little kid.
“Wait your turn, Zach,” I tell him, giving Richard back his change, and then offering him an apologetic smile.
“I guess I’ll talk to you next time,” Richard says. “Have a good day, Trillian.”
Zach eyes him as he leaves, waiting for him to exit before he speaks. “He wants you. Bad.”
“He was about to ask me out,” I admit.
Zach smirks. “Like he has a chance.”
I make him a cookies and cream cone. “And why would you say that? He’s good looking and nice enough.”
He shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets. “Not your type.”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t have a type.”
I don’t have much experience with men. I may not be a virgin, but I haven’t had that much sex, either.
“So, what brings you here? I’m surprised you’re even out of bed.”
I hand him the ice cream cone and put my hand out for the money.
Zach grins and hands me a twenty. “I actually need a favour.”
“Of course you do,” I mutter. “What do you need?”
“I got some club shit going on tonight, so I was wondering if maybe you could keep Xander company?” he asks.
I hand him his change and think about how to answer this. Zach knows I would have no plans tonight, but I don’t want to be alone with Xander. Not only do I turn into a bumbling idiot, but after last night and this morning, it’s going to be extremely awkward.
“Can’t he hang out with that chick from last night?” I ask. He did sleep with her, after all. Surely, he would be more comfortable around her.
Zach chuckles. “She was an easy lay. He’s not going to see her again.”
It’s a small town, but I don’t bother to point that out. I still run into Cain, the guy I lost my virginity to at seventeen. Yeah, not so good times.
“I saw him coming in this morning,” I say. “He didn’t even know I lived next door.”
Zack licks his ice cream, then answers. “I know, he asked me why I didn’t tell him.”
“Why didn’t you?” I ask, curious.
He shrugs. “I saw him staring at you last night. I didn’t want him to make you feel awkward. I know how you get. You freeze up, then try to think of an excuse to turn the guy down without hurting him, but end up saying yes last minute anyway.”