“How long are you staying in Channon?”
He puts his mug down on the coffee table and gazes into my eyes. “Depends.”
“Depends on what?”
His eyes crinkle, but he doesn’t answer the question, instead asking one of his own. “Do you get lonely living here by yourself?”
I shake my head. “I’m used to it. Plus, Zach and Grim are next door if I need anything.”
“You should get a dog,” he says. “A guard dog.”
I smirk. “I live next door to the president of the Channon chapter the Wind Dragons MC and his reckless son. Who would be stupid enough to rob this house?”
He laughs at that. “Fuck, you’re right. But still, it never hurts to be careful.”
“Are you worried about me, Xander?” I ask, grinning. “I was going to full name you, but I don’t even know your surname.”
“It’s Kane,” he says.
“Xander Kane,” I say, testing the words. “I like it.”
He moves his leg so it’s now touching mine. My eyes dart from our legs back up to his face.
“Any plans tomorrow?”
“Just studying, I guess.”
“What are you studying?” he asks, seeming genuinely interested.
“Bachelor of Education.” I bite the inside of my cheek as he leans forward, getting close enough to me that I can smell his cologne.
He nods slightly. “I think you would make an amazing teacher.”
“And why is that?”
“You’re patient and kind,” he says. “I could already tell that about you, even if Zach didn’t go on about how fuckin’ amazing you are every chance he gets.”
I can’t help but laugh at that. “Is that what he says about me when I’m not around? Good to know. What do you do with yourself back in Perth?”
“My dad owned his own motorcycle shop, which is now mine. So I run that business, plus I’m also a mechanic.”
“Who’s looking after the business then?”
“My friend Dash is keeping an eye on things for me,” Xander replies. “I have good people that work there, I trust them. They’ve been working for my dad for a long time. My sister, Summer, pops in from time to time as well.”
“Sounds nice.”
“It is. Hasn’t been the same since Dad left though, which is why I wanted to get away. And I’m glad I did.”
I hear the sadness in his voice and it makes my own heart hurt. For him and for myself because I still miss my own dad every day. I also don’t miss that he said his dad left, instead of passed.
Was he in denial?
“Is it true what they say?” he suddenly asks.
“Is what true?”
“Does time heal?”
I know what he’s asking. He wants to know if, as time passes, will the pain of losing someone he loved disappear.
“I guess, in a way, you learn to deal with the pain. It does lessen as you accept things. So time does heal all wounds, just not completely. Nothing can do that. You learn to live with the scars and soon forget they’re there, but they never disappear completely.”
He nods like I’ve confirmed something he already knows. “Dad loved Channon. It feels nice being here. A change, you know?”
“It’s a peaceful place,” I say. “For the most part, you know, besides being the home of a badass motorcycle club.”
Xander grins. “You’re fuckin’ cute, do you know that?”
His hair is tied back in a bun today and I can’t help but find it extremely sexy. My gaze wanders down his arms, his tattoos, and huge, strong hands.
“Do you like what you see?” he asks quietly, not in a cocky tone, but a serious one. Does he really want to know if I find him attractive? I don’t think there’s a woman alive that wouldn’t.
“I do,” I admit, my cheeks feeling flushed. I look down, a little shy. “You know I do.”
He slides over, closing the space between us and lifts my face up to meet his with his finger under my chin. “How do I know that you do?”
I decide to be honest with him and talk about the big elephant in the room. “When I saw you at the bar, I thought you were the most handsome man I’d ever seen in my life, but you didn’t want me, did you? You left with someone else, but that’s okay. I mean, we can be friends. I like hanging around you.”
He curses, then lowers his lips to mine and kisses me, sucking on my lower lip, and then drawing it into his mouth. His tongue slides into my mouth, tentatively at first, then more demanding. His hands cup my face while mine rest on his rock hard chest, clutching his shirt. I don’t think about anything except what I’m feeling, the taste and smell of him.
He is such a good kisser.
He pulls away before I’m ready and I moan in protest.
He gazes into my eyes. “Listen to me, Trill. I’ve never seen a woman as beautiful as you. Never. And you’re so fuckin’ sweet you could make a man lose himself. Leaving with someone else was fuckin’ stupid, but I did it because I thought I couldn’t have you.”
I blink a few times, still feeling dazed by his kisses.
“I fucked up, Trill,” he says when I stay silent, still trying to make sense of everything.
“What am I doing?” I ask as my heart races.
What the fuck am I doing? Can I just have a one-night stand with him? I’ve never had one before, and I’m not sure I can without getting hurt in the end. I don’t feel good about even considering this when he was with another woman just last night. Apparently, when it comes to Xander, I have no shame or dignity.