"I just can't," Silas said. "Mind your own goddamn business, all right?"
"Fine," I said, standing up to leave. "But see if you can talk some f**king sense into her too. I'm going to go see her this afternoon. You're her f**king favorite. I'm bad cop. You go play good cop."
"I'll talk to her when I get back," Silas said.
"Good."
I didn't know what the f**k Silas had going on, but whatever it was, it couldn't be good. He looked like he was burning the candle at both ends, more so the past two weeks. The skin under his eyes was dark, and he looked like he hadn't slept in a week.
It better not be his f**king conspiracy theories keeping him awake, I thought.
Of course, I doubted I looked much better either. Looking at him was like looking in the mirror.
Instead of sleeping, I found myself keeping f**king tabs on River like some kind of celebrity stalker. At first, I'd tried to ignore everything that went between us, pretend like it never happened. But then I went home to my new house, the place I was renting, and all the f**king silence got to me.
I should have gone to stay with my mom, but the thought of going back to that hellhole was too f**king depressing, so I'd rented a place. And then, with too much time on my hands, I couldn't get my mind off of River, thinking about what she was doing now, what she was wearing, how she smelled...how she tasted when I put my mouth between her legs.
I couldn't get her out of my f**king head. She'd taken up residence there, and wouldn't let me go.
She was on a movie set, some romantic comedy about a small-town girl and a famous guy. Ironic, that. Small Town Love was the name of it. Her movie studio had issued a statement - she was here in West Bend doing in-depth research for her film.
Real f**king in-depth.
I wondered if that's really all it was, between her and me. Research.
The gossip sites said she'd gotten a new place, cut her mom off financially. I was pissed as hell at her for leaving like she did, but I couldn't help but feel secretly proud of her for jettisoning her toxic mother from her life.
And then there was the speculation about her recently-divorced costar, apparently one of Hollywood's most eligible bachelors. They'd been photographed outside the set, his hand on her arm.
If I ever met the guy in person, I'd f**king throttle him.
She hadn't issued a statement about anything. I wanted to know what the f**k she would say.
Brandon reached for my hand, covering it with his. "Why don't you come by tonight," he said. "You can cry on my shoulder."
I pulled my hand back like I'd been electrocuted. "I'm not really looking for anything more than friends," I said. Brandon, my co-star, seemed nice enough at first, all sympathetic after I'd gotten back from West Bend and was just pissed off at having to be on set. No offense taken, he'd said, grinning, when I told him I just didn't have it in me to be here.
He was recently divorced himself, and said he understood the feeling. Sitting in his trailer right now, though, I was definitely getting a creep vibe from him.
I was regretting going to his trailer to read over lines, and I was regretting talking to him about Elias. Brandon laughed. "I wasn't suggesting we'd be anything more than friends," he said. "But friends can still f**k, can't they?
"Thanks but no thanks," I said, turning to leave. "I'm all right with my lines, actually. We can read on set."
He smirked. "What, you only got a thing for guys with one leg now?" he said, reaching for my wrist. I tried to pull it from his grip, but he squeezed it tightly.
"Let go of my wrist."
"Come on, River," he said. "Don't be such a bitch. Viper was right. He said you were frigid."
"Don't you f**king say shit about me." I slapped him across the face with my free hand, and watched his expression change to one of rage.
He pushed me up against the wall, and the only thing I could hear was the blood pumping in my ears, my breath short.
"Fuck you, Brandon." I spit out the words. "Get the f**k away from me."
Brandon ran his hand over my breast, and I tried to push it away, but he pinned my arms above my head. "Maybe the problem is you need a real man to warm you up," he said, reaching between my legs.
I struggled, trying to move his hand away with my leg, but he shoved his fingers inside my panties.
"Definitely frigid," he said. "But I can make you wet."
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I screamed, but he covered my mouth with his, forcing his tongue inside mine.
"You like it a little rough too," he whispered. "That's what Viper said."
There was a knock at the door, and it flew open. "Roger said River was in here reading lines with -" she stopped, backing up. "Oh, sorry to interrupt!"
I screamed, this time at the top of my lungs, and Brandon looked stunned for a moment, letting go of me.
The crew member, someone I didn't know, stood there, staring, unmoving. But her presence was enough.
I kneed Brandon in the balls as hard as I could. Then I grabbed the nearest thing to me, this vase of flowers on a table, and threw it at his head.
He ducked. "You bitch," he yelled, doubled over as he lunged for me, still clutching his balls. "You better be f**king glad that didn't hit me."