River didn't say anything at first. She just nodded. "I don't know who mine is," she said. "My father, I mean."
"Fuck family," I said. "The whole blood is thicker than water thing is such horseshit."
"You have brothers, though?" June asked, her voice soft.
"Four," I said.
"I just have a sister," June said. "I mean, obviously. My sister is the one screwing Viper. What are your brothers like?"
"We used to be close," I said. "Not as much anymore." That was the goddamned understatement of the year.
"How many of you are there?"
"Mason was the oldest, died when I was a kid."
River was silent, and I just continued, this deluge of words, non-stop. I didn't talk about my brothers much, or about my family at all. Even to the guys in my unit. They knew I was going home to West Bend, but not about much more than that. Telling someone about my family felt foreign.
"My mother married the ass**le -" I cleared my throat. "My father, I mean, after that. Had Mason when she was a teenager. The rest of us were from him - Silas, Luke, and Killian. There's four of us."
"Are they in West Bend?"
"Silas is," I said. "Works at a bar- bounces, I guess."
"Are you close?"
"It's complicated."
"Seems like a straightforward enough question."
"You're f**king pushy, aren't you?" I asked. River didn't seem bothered by my language or my irritation. She just shrugged and smiled.
"Been called worse," she said.
"We used to be close," I said. I didn't have to talk to her about my f**king family, I reminded myself. I could just tell her to f**k off and mind her own business.
Except I didn't want to. Not really.
For whatever the hell reason, I found myself wanting to tell River things I didn't talk about with other people. And that's the part that was scaring the shit out of me.
"And then what happened?"
"I don't know," I said. "Life, I guess. People change."
"You're so full of shit, Elias Saint," River said. But she didn't press me on it. It made me like her more. "June and Cade told me what happened with Mason."
"What the -?" I pulled away from her, irritated that she'd probed around in my past.
River put her hand on my chest, calm in the midst of my fury. "I asked them what they knew about Elias Saint. You. After what happened in town, with the sheriff, I wanted to know."
"Why?"
River pulled back from me and turned to face me, still under the blanket. I could feel her knees tucked up protectively to her chest. She looked down. "I wanted to know if I was wrong about you."
"Wrong about what?"
"Who you are."
"Who do you think I am?" My chest felt tight, like there was a vise grip on my heart. I didn't f**king want to hear what she'd assumed about me from the beginning - who she assumed I was. I'd gotten enough of that bullshit growing up.
"I thought you were a good guy," she said. "Protective. Loyal. Principled."
I laughed. "Principled," I said, shaking my head. "I've never f**king gotten called that before."
River ignored me. "June told me the town had it in for your family."
"You know the whole f**king story, then," I said.
"I know what June told me," River said. "I somehow doubt that's the whole story."
I shrugged. "Not much more to it than what she told you, probably. Mason had it roughest growing up, out of all of us, not being blood-related to the ass**le. I don't remember much of it, not really - Killian and Luke remember more, but that's the way they told it. Got away from our place, worked as a ranch hand on June's dad's ranch. He and June's sister had a thing. Anyway, he killed June's parents drunk driving, died in the accident. June's sister killed herself."
"It happened a long time ago," River said, more of a question than a statement.
"I don't even remember it. I was too young," I said. "Just the aftermath. Mom already had a black mark on her from the beginning, showing up in town pregnant and young, running away from her home. Add my father to the mix, the f**king town drunk, a mean sonofabitch, and...then, the accident after that."
"You were like pariahs, then."
"Small town bullshit."
"Growing up an outsider...it sticks with you forever," River said. "Makes it hard to trust people."
What the f**k would River Andrews know about being an outsider? Millions of adoring fans, a job most people dream of... she acted like she knew something about this kind of family bullshit? I looked into her eyes, at the sincerity etched into her features.
Yeah, right. She didn't know about this kind of thing. She was an actress.
“Why the f**k are we even talking about this?” I asked, pulling her toward me. “How bout a little less talking and a lot more f**king?”
River bit her bottom lip, but she couldn't hide her grin. “Show me what you’ve got, then.”