She began rummaging around in cabinets, pulling out a mixing bowl and utensils. “I have bananas,” she said. “I’m going to make that banana bread you boys always liked. You know Silas came by here yesterday.”
“Yeah?”
Her back was toward me as she took a carton of eggs from the refrigerator. “Asking questions about these things,” she said. “About the accident with your father, how he died. You boys know all that just causes me more stress than I can deal with, and then I start getting the headaches.”
“All right, mom,” I said. I made a mental note to ask Silas about it. She may not have ever been a great mother, but she didn’t deserve to just waste away in this shithole house, not if a big developer was offering her something for it.
“You talked to Silas, then?” she asked.
“Yeah, I talked to him.”
“I don’t like the two of you fighting,” she said. “You’re twins. You should be close. All of you should- Killian and Luke, too.”
Maybe if we’d have had a regular childhood, we would have all been close. That’s what I wanted to say, but I didn’t. Instead, I said, “Have you talked to Luke and Killian?”
She turned around, her back against the counter, her tone defensive. “Luke comes into town every now and again,” she said. “Smoke jumpers travel a lot, you know. He’d like to be here more, but he can’t. Sends me postcards though.”
I was sure that Luke’s job wasn't the only thing keeping him far away from West Bend.
“And Killian,” she said. “He’s traveling, too. Out on the oil rigs. Don’t hear from him much, every few months or so. Of course, that’s because he’s out of contact for long stretches of time. But he says he likes it.”
"Look, mom," I said. "I want you to be okay, money-wise. I want to look at whatever they're offering you."
She turned back toward the counter, waved me away with her hand. "Later, Elias," she said. "Not right now. I already feel a headache coming on."
I sighed. I wouldn't be getting anywhere with her, not on this topic. I'd have to see what Silas had to say about it. If anything.
"One more thing, mom," I said. "I ran into Jed Easton in town today."
She stopped mid-motion, her mixing spoon in her hand, but didn't turn around. "Oh?"
"He said I should give you his father's regards," I said. "What the hell was he talking about?"
She was silent, still for a moment. "I have no idea," she said, her voice strained.
"You have no idea why Jed's father, the town mayor, would be giving you his regards?" I asked. "You don't know what the hell he wants with you?"
She shook her head. "You need to stay out of business that doesn't concern you, Elias," she said, her voice dark. It was the first time I'd ever heard my mother speak directly about something like that in my life. It wasn't her way.
Now I was interested.
I also knew when to leave things alone. So I wasn't going to push it.
Then she surprised me again. "I think you should leave now," she said.
I rode away from the bed and breakfast and the ranch house, letting the mare guide me more than I guided her. I figured she knew this place better than I did, knew the rolling hills and the meadows out here, the groves of aspen trees that clustered like little oases in the desert. Except that this was the opposite of desert, all lush and green, even in late summer. It was as far removed from Hollywood as you could get, from the smog and dust of Los Angeles.
Riding out here like this, I couldn’t understand why Elias would hate to come back here. But I guess it was the same kind of relationship I had with my hometown.
Out here by myself, I could see how someone might never want to leave. Like June and her husband. It was idyllic. This was the kind of place I could feel like was a home.
Home wasn’t something I had felt in a long time, maybe ever.
I pulled the saddle and the blankets from the back of the mare and brushed her down. As I left the barn, Cade was walking toward me. “How was the ride?” he asked.
“Great,” I said. “I've never ridden anywhere like this.”
Cade nodded. “Yep. West Bend isn’t like any other place.”
“No,” I agreed. “I can see why it’s special, for sure. It’s gorgeous out here.”
“What I said earlier, about the Saint brothers -” Cade started.
“It’s okay,” I said. “June explained. It’s complicated.”
“Nah,” he said. “Not that complicated. I was out of line. June called my ass on it, said I was being too protective. Don’t tell her I said she was right, but she was. What all happened was a long time ago, and the other brothers, they were only kids. I spoke out of turn, not knowing anything about Elias.”
“June is your family,” I said. “Makes sense, you protecting her like that.”
Cade nodded toward the ranch house. “June’s inside putting little Stan down to sleep,” he said. “You want to come up for a beer? I know she’d love to have you over.”