Ryan was right to ask Claire. Jared was wel known for lengthy explanations. Claire went right to the point.
Ryan’s eyes drifted away from Claire to me. “Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “Great. Fantastic, actual y. I feel like I could run a marathon.”
Ryan smiled. “That’s good.” He turned to Claire. “That’s good, right?”
Her nose wrinkled. “Why are you asking me?”
“I don’t know,” Ryan shrugged, “I thought you might know better than anyone else.”
Claire stood, laughing once. “I’m hardly the expert. It’s never been an option for me, so I didn’t bother asking my mother about the details.”
“Why wouldn’t it be an option?”
Claire rol ed her eyes. “Because I’m busy.”
“With what?” he said, dubious.
Claire placed both of her palms facedown on the bed and looked at Ryan. “Keeping you alive.”
Ryan’s hand slid slowly across the blanket. His fingers layered hers. “Wel ...what if we were together? That could make it an option.”
Claire straightened quickly and crossed her arms. “Dream on.”
The corners of his mouth turned up. He enjoyed unsettling Claire far too much for his own good. “Am I wrong?”
“First of all ,” she said, shifting her weight, “it’s never going to happen. Second, I’d have a hard time protecting you when I’m as round as a bowling bal .”
“I bet you could,” Ryan said. “I can stay out of trouble for nine months.”
Claire raised an eyebrow. “You can’t stay out of trouble for one month. You’ve been hospitalized, had major surgeries, and needed extensive rehabilitation three times in as many years.”
His eyes turned soft. “I would if I had to. I’d do it for you.”
She cupped her hand over his mouth. “Shut up.”
Jared fidgeted, feeling out of place. “Uh…we should go.”
“No!” Claire said. She pul ed back her hand and wiped it on her leggings. “No, you should stay. I’ll uh...I’ll get more chairs.”
“I’ll help you,” Jared said. He briefly kissed my cheek before fol owing Claire into the hal .
“Wow,” I said, taking a seat beside the bed. “You can clear a room better than I. And that’s saying something.”
Ryan frowned. “She’s tough. Tougher than you.”
“Without a doubt,” I nodded.
“No…I mean yes, but not in the physical way. She’s here every second while I heal. I know she has to watch over me, but she doesn’t have to sit beside my bed and hold my hand.”
“She holds your hand?”
Ryan offered a half-smile. “The first morning—when I woke up—she was holding my hand with both of hers. The second I opened my eyes, she let go. But yes, she did.”
“Okay, but you don’t have to torture her. By her actions, she must care about you. This is Claire you’re dealing with. You can’t force it.”
Ryan turned on his side, leaning on his elbow. “Nina, you’re pregnant. Some rough shit is going to go down. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day you give birth to Lil’ Bitty Saint Ryel.” He pointed to my stomach, “But I think we can all agree that taking time for granted is precarious.”
“Precarious,” I said. “I’m so impressed.”
“Shut your face,” Ryan grinned. “I love her. I want to be with her. And not just around her. It’s even worse knowing she’s not here, but she’s stil somewhere around.”
“I know the feeling,” I said. My eyes unfocused as I remembered a not-so-distant past where I struggled studying in my dorm room at Andrews Hal , knowing Jared was somewhere nearby. Talking into a microphone hanging from my wal , standing in the freezing rain. Knowing he would come.
“I think she likes me, too, she just won’t admit it. I just gotta crack that shel .”
Ryan’s voice snapped me back to reality. “Good luck,” I said.
Claire and Jared returned carrying chairs in their arms.
“I love you,” Ryan said, looking straight at Claire. She stood, speechless.
“Smooth,” I nodded.
“I…uh…,” Claire said, looking around. She sat the chairs on the floor and then looked at her brother. “Someone else might visit…I better get more chairs.”
When the door closed behind her, Ryan looked down and laughed once without humor. “So stubborn.”
“Better than stupid,” Jared said.
Ryan’s head jerked up. “Excuse me?”
“Let her do her job,” Jared said, his voice flat.
“Coming from you? That’s hysterical.”
The tension between them thickened the air in the room. “Come on, guys,” I said.
Jared’s eyes were tight, and Ryan leaned forward a bit. Any civility between them had always seemed forced. It was only a matter of time before they exchanged words.
Jared shifted. “What is that supposed to mean, exactly, Ryan?”
“You seem to forget why everyone is in this mess to begin with. If you’d done your job by the book, none of this would have happened. So how about you let us all make our own choices without judgment?”
Jared’s body was rigid; his jaw tight. I waited for him to let Ryan have it—to come back with one of his undeniable and logical retorts, but he didn’t. Without a word, he left the room.