"Cady, why didn't you tell me your Yank cousin was so beautiful?"
Cillian asks this question of Cady but he stares at me the entire time. My pulse starts galloping away.
Cady sighs loudly. "Quit being such an eejit, Cillian. Everyone in Mac's could tell you're interested in her by the way you stared at her all night."
I’m so embarrassed because Cady calls him out on the carpet like that, but it doesn't seem to bother Cillian in the slightest because he says with a devilish smile, "Just staking my claim is all."
"Bloody fool," Cady grumbles but Cillian and I share a look, and he knows I'm interested in him too.
"So... you ladies fashion going to a party with me tonight?"
***
I'm having the best time since I've been in Ireland all summer. Cillian brought us to a party at the house of one of his band mates, who I haven't had the chance to meet yet. All night, Cillian is stuck to my side. He introduces me to some of his friends, and eventually his arm winds around my waist to hold me close to him. I revel in the feeling, especially since it's been awhile since I've had a boyfriend. It's extra nice, because Cillian is clearly a guy that women are interested in. Other girls blatantly come on to him, but he only seems to notice me.
I finish my beer and Cillian leaves to get me another. I use the opportunity to take a quick peek around for Cady and see her playing beer pong in the kitchen. She doesn't seem too drunk, for which I'm thankful. I don't look forward to helping her stumble home.
When Cillian returns, his hands are empty. Before I can say anything, he grabs my wrist and leads me down a hallway into a bedroom. After closing the door, he turns to me and takes my face in his hands. I know I should be worried as to what this means, but I'm buzzed not only on beer, but also with the excitement of being alone with him. It makes me feel daring and reckless, two things that are foreign to me.
Stepping in close, he leans down and whispers against my lips, "I've been wanting to kiss you all night and I'm tired of waiting."
He doesn't wait for me to respond. He doesn't care if I want the same thing. He just presses his lips against mine, and because I do, in fact, want the same thing, my mouth opens willingly.
Cillian kisses me slow and deep and I am lost. My hands come up to his chest and my fingers curl into his t-shirt. Pulling back slightly, he murmurs against my mouth, "Cailín álainn."
I don't know what he said but I recognize it's Gaelic. It sounded like "coll-een aw-leen" and with this Irish lilt, I think they are the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard. Before I can ask the translation, he is kissing me again, and suddenly, I could care less what it means.
His lips are soft but controlling. His tongue isn’t shy and it claims my mouth as if he has owned it for my entire life. Feelings that I’ve never experienced race through my body. My heart thumps madly in my chest and my entire existence seems to boil down to the fact that I am in Cillian’s arms.
My young body is demanding to know what comes next, but my virginal status makes me a bit leery as to where this is heading. I've made out plenty of times with my ex-boyfriend in high school, but he knew I never had any intention of going all the way with him. Thus, he never really tried to push me any further than some hot kisses and clumsy groping. It's probably why he broke up with me, just before graduation... because I wouldn't have sex with him.
Oh well.
But Cillian's mouth on mine is like nothing I've ever experienced and for the first time...ever...I truly wonder what sex is like. His kisses are heady and fill me with a yearning that I didn't know I possessed inside of me. When one of his hands glides lightly over my breast, I can't help the soft moan that comes out of my mouth. My moan seems to elicit a responding growl from Cillian and our kiss becomes deeper.
Emboldened, Cillian's hands start to roam a bit further, and I find that I want him to plunder every bit of me.
At least I want that, at first. My inhibitions are lowered from the alcohol and my common sense is blurred from the exhilaration of making out with a hot musician. But when one of his hands starts to undo the button on my pants, I start to snap out of the lust-induced haze I'm in.
My hand covers his and I say, "Wait."
Cillian slowly pulls his hand away and takes a small step back. His eyes search my face. "Too fast for you?"
I nod shyly, looking down at the floor. "I'm sorry. I can't."
"Don't be sorry, cailín álainn. Just be you." He smiles at me warmly and he doesn't look mad at all. "It's not a problem."
Giving me a kiss on my forehead, Cillian takes my hand and leads me back out to the party. My head is spinning, because God help me I wanted him to go further. I chew on my lip, wondering if I made a mistake... wondering if I missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to become a woman in the most sinfully naughty of ways. To give it up to a gorgeous Irish musician who I would probably never see again.
But no... I remember Cillian's last words. Just be you.
And I know I did the right thing, and clearly, he respected that.
Dropping me back off in Cady's care, Cillian tells me he'll be back and melts into the crowd.
"Where were you two?" Cady asks as she grabs my arm.
"Um..."
"You didn't... you and he didn't...?"
"God no, Cady. We just... kissed."
"He kissed you? I'm going to kill him."