“Trillian—”
“Last night, your mouth was on someone else, and now I’m letting you kiss me and enjoying it. What the hell does that say about me?”
Without warning, Xander lifts me up and puts me on his lap. I can feel his hardness pressing against me, but he doesn’t say anything and neither do I. I’m too upset and confused to feel anything else.
“Now are you going to listen to me?” he asks, his tone laced with steel.
I nod.
I’m going to listen, but I also know I’m not going to like what he has to say.
Chapter Eight
Xander
How does a man say sorry to a woman he wants because he was between another woman’s thighs just the night before? There isn’t any way around this. I fucked up big time and nothing I say will fix it.
What changed between last night and tonight? Last night, Trillian was just a beautiful woman I was drawn to and someone I thought was off limits. Tonight, Trillian is someone I can see myself with for a lot more than a simple fuck. I like being around her and I want to get to know her better. I want to know everything about her. Trillian is angry with herself because she allowed herself to kiss me when I, like a stupid shit, was with someone else last night. If only I had just kept it in my pants. Fuck. I don’t know how to solve this, but there is one thing I can do to buy me some time and keep her around me.
So I do it.
“I’m going to be straight with you. I wanted you, I thought I couldn’t have you, so I played it off and left with someone else. Yes, I fucked her, but it didn’t mean anything, it was just sex. I felt like shit afterward, even though I shouldn’t have because we’d only met once and that was it. But it was you I wanted, not her or anyone else.”
I take a breath, watching the expressions play on her face and wondering what the hell she is thinking.
“I like you, Trillian, and I want to get to know you better,” I say, now in a quieter tone. “I know I’m only here for a little while, but I want to spend that time with you.”
She opens those pouty lips of hers. “You want a casual fling with me then, until you have to leave?”
Is that what I want? It’s all that makes sense really, given the situation. It isn’t like I can offer her anything else. She didn’t sound offended when she said casual fling. It just sounds like she wanted to understand exactly what it is I want from her.
“We don’t have to label it, Trill,” I say. “Do you like being around me? Do you want to be around me? That’s all it really comes down to. After spending tonight with you, I don’t think I could sit at Zach’s without wanting to be here.”
She scrapes her teeth along her bottom lip. “I do want to be around you.”
I exhale with relief. I don’t know what I would do if she didn’t or how I would accept it.
You just met her, calm the fuck down.
“I don’t expect anything from you, Trill,” I say, in case she thinks I’m going to take her to her room and have my way with her as soon as an agreement passes her lips. Not that I don’t want to be with her in that way because, fuck, I do—my throbbing dick is a testament to that, but I’m not going to—at least, not tonight when I know she is thinking about Paula… or whatever the fuck her name was.
“I want you to trust me.”
When she sighs and lays her head against my chest, I know that I’ve won. I kiss the top of her head, smiling. I won’t rush her. I’ll just enjoy my time with her before I have to go home. Running a hand down her back, I relax back into the couch.
“Can I make you breakfast in the morning?” I ask, wanting to do something nice for her.
She lifts her head. “You cook?”
I kiss her cheek. “I do okay in the kitchen.”
“Expect Zach to join us,” she mumbles. “There’s no way he won’t be here on a Sunday morning expecting to be fed.”
I chuckle. “Noted.”
I need to talk to him about Trillian. I don’t know how he’ll react, but I’m hoping he’ll be okay with it. I got the feeling from him that he liked the idea, but I don’t know why. Zach knows me well. He used to live in Perth until he moved to Channon. After that, he and Grim did annual trips down to visit Dad and me when they were on club business. We’ve gotten up to a lot of shit over the years, things I’m sure he wouldn’t have told anyone about, especially Trillian.
I glance down at her to find her eyes closed. It’s about one am, so she must be exhausted after going out last night and then working all day today. I don’t like the thought of leaving her here alone to go next door, but I don’t think she’d like the idea of me sleeping over tonight. I really wanted to, though. It feels right somehow.
I stand with her in my arms and walk toward her bedroom. Opening the door, I step to the bed and pull the red quilt down, then place her on the bed and tuck her in. The first time being in her room, I glance around before leaning down and kissing her mouth softly.
I pull back when she stirs.
“Xander?”
“Yeah, Trill,” I whisper. “Go to sleep. I’ll lock the door on the way out.”
She opens her bright blue eyes and frowns sleepily. “Can’t you sleep here tonight?”
I swallow hard, wanting nothing more than to slide in next to her. “Are you sure?”
She nods her head. “Just to sleep, I mean.”
I hide my smile. “Just to sleep. I want to, Trill, but I don’t know…”