James shakes his head at me. “Do you think so little of me?”
Before I can respond he says, “I’ll be here tomorrow.” Then he turns around and leaves.
***
James
I have a son. And he's amazing. He looks just like I did when I was his age, except for that mop of jet black hair. Sasha’s hair. The two of us have created something so perfect, and I had no idea.
I have a son, and I don’t even know him. I feel heart-broken and elated at the same time.
What does he like to eat? Does he sleep through the night? What's his favourite toy? I know nothing. I want to blame Sasha but it isn’t her fault alone. I should have rung her back, f**k. She could have tried to contact me again, though, but I guess there’s no point playing the ‘what if’ game.
My phone rings, it’s Tatiana. I was supposed to be at her house an hour ago. I press reject on the phone because I need some time to think before talking to her. I decide to head straight for my mother’s house. She needs to hear that she has another grandson. Then, I’m going shopping. I have over a year of making up to do.
I get out of the car, and I see the front door of my mum’s house open. She stands just outside of the door, waiting for me.
“James!” she says, her eyes brightening with pleasure as they do whenever she sees any of her children. I walk up to her and envelope her in a warm hug.
“Is everything okay?” she quickly asks.
I sigh. “Come on, let’s go inside and talk."
We both walk in and take a seat in the living room. Mum’s eyes are full of concern and worry. I run my hands over my face, “I don’t even know where to start.” She remains quiet, waiting patiently for me to gather my thoughts.
“You remember Sasha?” I ask her, already knowing that she does. When Sasha and I dated, she and my mother were close. Her eyes light up at the mention of Sasha’s name.
“Of course, how is she? Are the two of you back together?” she asks, her words rushed in excitement. Mum knows all about Sasha and what happened. How she thought I was cheating. I ended up telling my mum everything when she caught me in a moment of weakness.
“Well you know how she was at Kade’s wedding,” I start.
“Oh, yes, we spoke for a bit. She looked stunning, didn’t she?” my mother digresses.
“Yes, she did. We ended up hooking up that night,” I say a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck.
“What does ‘hooking up’ entail exactly?” she asks bluntly.
I groan. She’s actually going to make me say it. “We had sex.”
“Well then just say that, you don’t need to call it something else. The youth of today…” she huffs in exasperation.
“So, Sasha is back in Perth. I told you she was overseas, remember?” I ask her.
“I remember,” she says.
I palm my face. “I got her pregnant that night. She had my child.”
Her eyes snaps to mine, pulling her thoughts away from what I suspect were wedding plans. “Kade’s wedding was, what? Over two years ago?” she asks, her eyes narrowed.
I nod, inhaling deeply, as I watch an array of emotions cross my mother’s face.
“So do you have a son or a daughter?” she asks quietly.
“A son. His name is Jye, and he's amazing, mum. You'll love him,” I say.
“I already do,” she instantly replies, her eyes locked with mine.
“I'll bring him over to see you, okay?” I tell her.
“As soon as possible. Oh, I must go shopping!” she says absently.
“Aren’t you going to ask why she didn’t tell me?” I ask her, my brows furrowed.
“I’m obviously not happy about it. My own grandson doesn’t even know me. There must be an explanation. Right now, I just want to see him, okay? Nothing is going to change the past, I just want to be in his life now,” she says as she leans over and hugs me.
“You're going to be an incredible father, James,” she says, placing a kiss on my forehead. I love my mum.
I’m her favourite.
***
I walk down the aisles of the toy store, picking up anything that catches my eye. Jye had a toy tiger in his hand that he seemed fond of, so I pick up any tiger toys I come across. I also get some toy cars, making sure the age recommendation is accurate. I see a few women eyeing me and sending smiles my way. I bite my lip ring and frown.
Isn’t it weird how women flock to men with children, but men run away from single mothers? Not all men, of course, but hell, I know a lot of men that steer clear.
I see a train set that catches my eye, pulling me out of my musings. I grab it, adding it to my trolley. Once it's overflowing and I can’t possibly fit anything else, I head to the check out. As I’m paying for the thousand dollars' worth of toys, a thought crosses my mind. How has Sasha managed financially all this time? The idea of her or Jye going without makes me want to punch something.
“Any suggestions on where there’s a good kids' clothing store?” I ask the girl at the checkout.
***
Sasha
To say I’m surprised when James drops by later that same evening with toys and clothes would be an understatement. I think he bought the whole damn shop, too.
“James, what is this?” I ask dryly.
“I wanted to buy my son some things,” he says, stating the obvious.
“Right,” I say, drawing the word out. I stare at my living room, now covered in shopping bags. My lip twitches, and I purse my lips together trying to stop myself from giggling.