“Oh,” I say, my mouth hanging open a little. “She said—”
“Doesn’t matter what she said; that’s the truth, all right? So don’t go around fuckin’ threatening to go fuck some other guy, because you don’t want to push me, Anna.”
“Arrow—”
“I’m not used to having to explain myself, Anna, and I don’t fuckin’ like having to do it now. You either have faith in me and trust me, or you don’t.”
It wasn’t that simple, was it?
My eyes narrow slightly. “We can’t do this, Arrow. You either want me or you don’t. You either take me or you don’t. I can’t do this back-and-forth shit.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “Why?”
“Why what?” I ask.
“Why the fuck do you have to be so beautiful that I can’t get you out of my head?”
“Oh,” I say again, blinking furiously. Did he really think that about me? Of course he did, Arrow didn’t say things he didn’t mean. Fuck, that compliment feels good. It is nice to know he wants me as much as I want him.
“Here’s something no one knows. Before I gave in and fucked Jill, I hadn’t been with anyone since Mary. Five years, Anna. I only fucked her to try to get you out of my head, and I fucking regret it. It should have been you. I don’t give a fuck about Jill. I just didn’t want to hurt you.”
He didn’t have sex for five years? Because of Mary?
“Why?” I ask.
He looks me straight in the eye. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anything. How is it fair that I caused her death and now I get to be happy?” He stops and takes a breath. “I can’t go through something like that again. And with you . . . it’s worse, Anna. It’s fuckin’ worse.”
I speak in a soft, gentle tone. “I’m not going to end up like Mary, Arrow. And what happened to her wasn’t your fault. It could have been anyone that day.”
“Anna—”
“I know you loved Mary, but she would want you to be happy, Arrow,” I say, my eyes pleading with his to believe me.
“She would,” he replies, smiling sadly. “She was always so good, so perfect, you know? It was hard to live up to that. She was soft. She never disagreed with me; she never raised her voice. She wasn’t made for me.”
He pauses and takes a deep breath.
“But you, Anna? You’re my perfect match. You were made for me, because you not only take me as I am but make me want to be a better man at the same time. Because you challenge me and aren’t afraid to give me your opinion. You’re a fighter, Anna, and exactly what I want. I thought fucking Jill would take some of the want away, but it didn’t. I won’t be satisfied until I have you.”
“It should have been with me, not Jill, and I’m fucking pissed off that she took what’s mine.”
I seriously hated that bitch.
His eyes darken. “Fuck, hearing you talk like this . . .”
“What? What does it do to you, Arrow?” I demand.
He reaches down and adjusts himself. “I’ve never wanted to be inside someone more in my entire life.”
We stare at each other for a few tense moments. “Rake wants someone better for you—”
“Rake is going to have to deal,” I say, lifting my chin stubbornly. “You think I’d choose some overbearing criminal if I had the choice? You’re it for me, whether I like it or not.”
His lip twitches at that.
“I tried not to want you, Arrow, but these things don’t work like that,” I murmur softly. “It’s making me crazy. I’m overthinking everything, trying to understand it all, but really what it all comes down to is that I want you. More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
He smiles, walks over to the bed, sits down and pulls me on top of his lap. “I don’t know what this is with us. It’s making me crazy too. You’re a gift I didn’t expect and sure as hell don’t deserve.”
I don’t believe that is true.
I lean my forehead against his. “Arrow. Kiss me.”
“Anna—”
I take matters into my own hands. Grabbing his beard and pulling his face to me, I capture his lips in a kiss he isn’t going to soon forget. I move so I’m straddling his lap, my hands on his shoulders, gripping him in place. He moans, his hands moving to cup each globe of my ass. He squeezes. I slowly grind myself onto him, feeling his hard cock standing to attention. He holds me in place, so I can’t move anymore. I wonder why, until I hear the sound of someone knocking on my door.
“Anna! Come on, breakfast is ready,” my brother calls out, interrupting us.
Arrow’s cock goes a little soft at that.
I sigh, burying my face in his neck. “Surely being this frustrated with no release isn’t good for my health.”
“You aren’t the one with blue balls,” he says, puffing out a breath.
I lift my head. “I didn’t have women at my beck and call these last few weeks.”
He slaps my ass. “You going to hold that against me forever? And don’t say it was cheating, because it wasn’t. We weren’t together, and I was trying to get you off my mind. Not that it fuckin’ worked, but I tried.”
“So what are you saying? We’re together now?” I ask, wanting to clarify this once and for all.