Just when I think to myself what next, it turns out I shouldn’t have wondered. Of course the paparazzi would show up. There’s an A-list celebrity on the premises.
Pressed against the living room wal like a ninja assassin, I peek out the window. Reid continues to work, paying no attention to the photographers, who are simply everywhere. They remind me of a nature special about army ants that I watched in a state of unmoving horror when I was six. Devouring everything in their col ective path, ants swarmed across the landscape in a bold undulating line of black. I couldn’t sleep for a week, until Deb convinced me that African army ants weren’t general y known to raid urban California.
Exhausted after a night of tossing and turning, I consider whether or not I’m hungry enough to risk appearing in even the outer fringes of those photos. This is ridiculous. Several hours stand between me and my next meal. I shouldn’t feel the need to skulk around inside because of some sil y photographers. Besides, they aren’t interested in me.
The Plan: go out, grab something to eat, dash back inside.
Minutes later, I’m skirting the crowd with a bowl of fruit and an iced tea when one of our corporate volunteers veers directly towards me, ogling the photographers gathered on the neighbor’s roof. Realizing too late that she doesn’t see me, I scoot as close to the patio edge as possible. As she passes, our sleeves grazing, I exhale in relief. And then she whips around and accidental y elbows me right off the patio’s four-foot no-railing-instal ed-yet drop.
Everything is slow-motion. Eyes widening, mouth rounding into a shocked “O,” she grabs for me as I lurch over the edge, backwards. She catches nothing but air, and neither do I. The bowl flies up, chunks of fruit tossed in every direction. The tea levitates from the cup in an arc above me. And though I know I’ve generated a squeak of surprise, I can’t hear anything—it’s as though the world has been muted.
If you’ve never fal en and been caught by someone before, I am here to tel you that the landing is not as smooth and effortless as Hol ywood portrays it to be. In reality, parts land where they land, and though hitting a human body is probably less painful than hitting the ground, it’s not like landing on a sofa or a trampoline or anything that gives.
My limbs stil flailing uselessly, my head slams against a shoulder and I knee myself in the chin as the body I’ve tumbled onto goes down under me. “Oof,” he says as he hits the ground, my elbow jabbing into his abdomen as he absorbs my entire body weight.
I don’t have to see his face—I know the voice—but I can’t help looking. With a yard ful of people looking on, plus several yards ful of photographers, I’m lying halfway on top of Reid, who is sprawled on the ground, holding me tightly, blinking as the blue sky rains fruit on top of us.
Camera shutters whir and snap in the distance. And to think, I feared being in the peripheral background of a photo taken of him.
I scramble to rol off of him, and he releases me slowly enough that I’m pul ing against his hold for a couple of seconds, until he realizes we’re not actual y fal ing anymore.
My iced tea has splashed a swath across both of our white t-shirts, and pieces of pineapple, cantaloupe and various berries tumble from our clothes and hair as we move to sit upright.
People who a moment ago were al frozen, agog, are rushing towards us, asking if we’re okay, helping us to our feet.
Mortified, I stare down at my soggy, fruit laden outfit. My legs are wet, too—rivulets of iced tea dripping from my shorts and snaking down the bare skin. I can’t look directly at Reid. “I’m so sorry,” I say in his general direction before mumbling, “I need to go clean up,” in answer to offers of assistance from half a dozen people.
Grabbing a stack of napkins, I walk inside, fighting the urge to run. The bathroom plumbing has been hooked up, thank God, though mirrors haven’t been hung yet. After mopping the tea from my legs, I press a damp napkin into the shirt where the tea has stained it, though it’s a hopeless gesture. Running my fingers over my head, I pluck out bits of fruit, struggling not to picture what might get into the gossip rags or, oh gol y, on the Internet tomorrow: Unbalanced Fan Tackles Heartthrob, see page 2.
Clumsy Girl falls for Reid Alexander—Click Here for Photos!
Good grief.
“You missed some cantaloupe.” Reid stops me from turning, one hand on my shoulder, his fingers in my hair, plucking a thin slice of orange melon from my ponytail. “It could be worse, you know.”
“Oh?” I’m sure he’s correct, but at the moment, I can’t imagine how.
“Sure. Spaghetti and meatbal s would be worse.
Chocolate milk. Sangria. That stuff stains anything, trust me.” He dislodges a blueberry from my shoulder and it lands in the sink, rol ing, leaving a purple trail. I make a mental note to get some bleach-containing cleaner from Roberta to scour the sink so it won’t discolor the white porcelain.
Picturing myself covered in spaghetti, I turn and face him without even a hint of a smile. “We don’t usual y serve pasta. Or sangria.”
“I guess you’re safe from tomato sauce and red wine stains then.” His expression is serious, but his eyes dance.
“Yes.”
“Hey, make sure I don’t have any stray fruit in my hair, wil you?” He angles the top of his head towards me. “I ran my hands over it, but I think I missed some.”
“I don’t see anything… oh, wait. There are a few strawberry bits.” I try to remove the squishy stuff without actual y touching his head, which proves impossible.