I’m waiting for Fable now in our hotel room. While I went to practice, she went and explored Boston with one of the other players’ wives. That’s another thing—my wife is out making friends, getting to know the other wives, becoming more social. She’s really opened up. She’s more confident, easier to laugh, easier to talk to someone she doesn’t know. Again, she’s a private person, but she’s become adept at putting on a public persona. She shows the world what they want to see.
But deep down, she’s still the sweet, fiercely protective girl I fell in love with. She’s still my Fable. My story. My life.
An idea comes to me, one so outrageous, so over the top, I know we have to do it. Fable will think I’m crazy but I don’t care. I’m excited just thinking about it.
The door suddenly swings open, interrupting my thoughts, and in walks Fable, carrying what looks like about fifty shopping bags on either arm. She huffs out a loud breath and I go to her, help her by taking some of the bags so I can set them on the bed.
“What the hell, did you buy all of Boston?” I ask incredulously, noting the store names scrawled across the bags. Expensive places, most of them. I guess she’s gotten over her fear of spending too much money.
Not that I’m protesting. I want her to have fun and buy whatever the hell she wants, whenever she wants it. She’s worth it.
With a laugh she dumps the remaining bags on the bed and then collapses on top of it, her arms thrown out wide, the bags starting to tumble over and fall on her. Her laughter grows and I grab the bags, dumping them on the floor so they’re not spilling all over her. “I had the best time. We went all over the place and had lunch. Amanda is so sweet, and so is Bryce.”
I frown and settle on the bed beside her, making the mattress dip so she slides toward me. “Who’s Bryce?”
“Her baby. Oh, Drew.” She sits up, her eyes shining, her cheeks glowing from the cold air outside. She looks excited, full of hope. “He’s so sweet and cute. Just a little doll. And so good-natured. He hardly cried at all and we were out shopping for hours.”
Uneasiness slips over me. “Right. I, uh, forgot Thomas has a new baby.” Jay Thomas is a great guy, but hell, he’s thirty years old. I still have a ways to go before I hit that age. I’m not ready for kids.
Am I?
No. I’m definitely not. Not yet.
For the longest time I could hardly take care of myself. How can I take on the responsibility of a baby? Yeah, I’ve helped raise Owen, but that’s different. He came into my life when he was fourteen. He could already pretty much take care of himself. And he’s not my child. Once you have a baby, it’s yours whether you like it or not. Completely dependent on you for the next eighteen-plus years.
A shiver moves through me at the thought.
“Yes, he’s adorable.” She sits up and takes my hand, her shoulder bumping against mine as she stares into my eyes. “Being with Amanda and Bryce made me realize something.”
“What?” I ask, my voice weak. I know exactly what she’s going to say. I’m not ready to hear it, though. I’m not ready for any of this.
“I want to try for a baby,” she says softly. “We should try now, don’t you think? If I get pregnant quick, I’d have the baby in the summer when you’re home and then I wouldn’t have to worry about you being away for a game or whatever when I go into labor. Now is the perfect time. The best time. I know we’re young and all, but we’ve been together for so long. I think the next natural step is having a baby. Don’t you? Don’t you want a baby boy that can carry on the name, or a baby girl you could spoil rotten?”
“Uh …”
“Amanda is young. She’s only twenty-five. But she loves being a mommy. She says Bryce is the best baby and besides, she has a nanny who can help out when she needs it,” Fable continues.
“You want a nanny?” I scratch the back of my neck, my brain overloaded with images of babies and nannies and diapers and crying and strollers and …
Shit.
“I don’t really think so,” she says with a frown, as if she was seriously contemplating it. “I probably don’t need one. I can handle taking care of the baby, especially since I don’t work.”
“You wouldn’t be able to travel with me as much,” I point out.
Her frown deepens. “True. But we’d adjust. And after we adjust, I’m sure I could travel with you and the baby. It would be fun, don’t you think?”
“I guess.” I shrug. “You know, we wouldn’t have each other all to ourselves anymore, and I’d miss that. I think you would too. Our lives would completely change. There’d be someone else we’d always have to consider.”
“We always have someone else to consider. Owen,” she reminds me.
“That’s different. He’s on his own now and he knows we’ll help him no matter what.” I wave a hand, getting up off the bed so I can start pacing in front of her. Back and forth, back and forth in front of the bed, my mind racing, panic slipping through my veins. “A baby needs constant care, Fable. It would be dependent on us. More like the baby would be dependent on you, because I won’t be around much. Are you ready for that?”
“Absolutely,” she says with utter conviction. “I can’t wait to have our baby, Drew. I want to have lots of babies with you.”
Lots of babies. Those three words send fear clawing up my throat. I stop my pacing and rest my hands on my hips as I stare at her, looking hopeful and puzzled as she sits on the edge of the bed.