“Oh, baby,” he murmurs, reaching a hand across the table to take mine.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him, my voice quavering with emotion. “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t be stronger.”
Tim’s fingers squeeze hard against mine. “No,” he says harshly. “It’s not your fault. You were fucking eighteen years old and scared out of your mind. You did what you had to do, and if that meant cutting me loose, then you had to do that to keep yourself secure.”
“I don’t deserve that from you,” I choke out.
“Don’t, Holly,” he tells me firmly. “You need to let it go. You did nothing wrong. You hear me? You. Did. Nothing. Wrong.”
I nod, not really accepting what he’s saying, but no longer having the strength to argue against his forgiveness.
“How did you end up in New Orleans?” Tim asks as he gives me a final squeeze and releases my hand. He then nods to my plate and adds on, “Eat.”
I take the small reprieve he gives me in the heavy conversation and pick at a crab cake. “My relationship with my father was broken. I took his roof that summer and then his tuition money, but the day he kicked you out of our house… I broke emotional ties with him. I spent my freshman year at Columbia applying for scholarships to other universities so I could get out from his hold completely. I got several offers, but Tulane was the furthest away from New York. I left after my freshman year and never looked back.”
“You cut ties with your father?” Tim asks incredulously.
“He was my hero, Tim,” I defend my actions. “And then he completely violated my trust in him. And I’m sorry… but I just can’t accept his views. They aren’t me. He made me feel bad for having feelings for you, and I just couldn’t forgive it.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he murmurs, taking a sip of the wine we had ordered.
“I still talk to my parents, but it’s stilted… impersonal. I think I’ve been back home maybe three times in the past nine years. My mother still pretends like we’re a family, but we’re not. Haven’t been for ten years.”
“I’m sorry,” Tim says.
I give him a wry smile. “Nothing for you to be sorry about.”
“There is,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry for thinking the worst about you for so long. I just assumed that you prescribed to your father’s way of thinking. That maybe I was just a novelty to you… rich, white chick dating the ruggedly handsome, black football player.”
I snicker over the imagery, but then I turn serious. I hope he understands when I say, “I loved you, Tim. You were my first love. It was true. My father never changed that. He just made it impossible for me to see it through.”
The muscles in Tim’s throat work as he swallows hard. His eyes are deep pools of sadness and lost time. “What am I going to do with you?” he murmurs.
I cut my gaze over to our waiter, who is hovering nearby. With a motion of my wrist, I silently ask for our check. Picking up my napkin from my lap, I dab at my mouth and then lay it across my plate. “How about taking me home? I’m sure you can figure out something after that.”
Tim’s eyes flash hot… sparking with intensity as he stares at me across the table. His lips curve up in a wicked grin. “I think I can come up with something.”
Chapter 5
Tim
The short drive back to Holly’s house is noticeably quiet. I expect it’s because both of our minds are preoccupied with what’s to come.
I can’t deny it… from the moment I laid eyes on Holly in the emergency room the other day, I was reminded of how deeply attracted I am to this woman on a physical level. Despite the pain she had caused me, my cock was still very much interested in her.
After our conversation tonight… and the things I’ve learned?
My mind is on absolute overdrive trying to make sense of it all. Because now, I have been cleared to act on that attraction, and clearly, Holly wants the same thing. Before too long, I’m going to be sunk into that beauty.
But this is now more than just physical attraction, something Holly and I never ran short of when we were together in high school. Now old feelings have been revived, and every bit of pain and anger is gone. All I feel now is warmth and care toward her as well as tremendous sympathy for what she went through. I admire her bravery in standing up to her old man and for holding true to her values. This all presses down upon me, and I have to wonder what that bitch fate has in mind for us going forward.
For the immediate future, the one thing I do know is that I’m going to fuck Holly like she’s never had it before. I was a boy then… but I’m a man now. I’ve learned a thing or two since we lost our virginity to each other in the back seat of my mom’s old Buick Skylark.
I park the car in Holly’s driveway and follow her silently up to her front porch. Her house is modest for a doctor, but Holly never struck me as one that wanted wasted extravagance. Even though she grew up in wealth, she was never the type of girl that was stuck on trends or possessions, which is something that made me more comfortable with her, because I absolutely didn’t come from wealth.
When Holly bends her head to stick her key in the lock, I walk up close behind her, immediately immersed in her scent. My chest brushes against her shoulder blades, and I lean forward to nuzzle into her neck. She sighs… softly, and leans back into me, the lock momentarily forgotten.