“And what’s that?” I ask, hating that there’s anything she likes about me being gone.
She lifts her head up and grins at me. “I get to drive Ryder’s car until you get back.”
I laugh at the look on her face. Pure happiness mixed with goofiness. It’s a good look on her. “You can drive any of my cars, you know.”
She suddenly looks interested. “Really?”
“Sure,” I tell her, kissing her brow. “Be good.”
One day everything I own will be hers as well, after all.
And I can’t wait for that day.
Chapter Five
Tee
Saxon leaves, and I find myself sulking as I wait for Lexi to pick me up. Why the f**k am I sulking? Okay, so he asked me if I wanted him to not be with any girls while on tour, and I said I didn’t care.
I don’t care.
I picture him with some groupie on his lap, his hands full of her ass.
I want to strangle said imaginary girl.
Okay, so I do care.
But I shouldn’t.
An image flashes in my mind. Him in the shower this morning, stroking himself. Now that was a perfect penis if I’d ever seen one. Long, thick, and completely lickable. I’m practically drooling when Lexi beeps her horn for me to get my ass out there. Locking the door behind me, I walk to her car, flashing her a wave. Sliding into the passenger’s seat, I turn and stare at my best friend. “I need jam donuts.”
She wrinkles her nose. She hates them. “How much do you love me?”
“Why?” I ask, instantly suspicious.
“Because I bought you a twelve pack and they’re at home waiting for you,” she says, reversing the car and turning onto the road.
She bought me a twelve pack of donuts? “You’re kind of perfect you know. You should ditch my cousin and marry me.”
“Really Tee? Poaching your own cousin’s woman, shame on you,” comes a voice from the back seat.
I scream. “Motherf—”
Lexi and Ryder laugh.
Assholes.
“What the hell are you doing skulking in the back seat?” I turn and ask Ryder. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready to leave?”
He leans back against the seat. “I want to spend as much time with Lexi as I can before I have to go so I tagged along. Oh and I’m in the backseat because I wanted to scare you.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Let the woman breathe now and again. And you totally didn’t scare me.”
He laughs. “Sure I didn’t.”
Seriously, how old is my cousin? I shake my head at his immature antics. Reminds me of the days he used to wear a scary mask and sneak up outside my window at night just to scare me. I really should get him back for that. Planning revenge against him makes the drive go faster, and soon we’re at his house. I spend an hour with Lexi then take Ryder’s car and the rest of my donuts and speed off.
The donuts weren’t as good as the ones Saxon brought me.
Damn Saxon.
*****
The next few days pass in a blur. I don’t hear from Saxon, and I don’t contact him. What I do do is wonder what and who he’s doing. I know I don’t have any right to do so, or to get upset after how I played it off like I didn’t care, but I can’t stop myself. I turn and look at Lexi, who is staring at the screen of her phone, a secretive smile playing on her lips.
“That’s my cousin you’re sexting right now,” I remind her, pursing my lips.
Golden eyes peep up at me. “I know. I just miss him so much.”
“When does he get back from tour again?” I ask her, not really caring when Ryder gets back, but one of his band mates instead.
“In a week,” she replies, her attention back on her phone. “Longest week of my life.”
I make a whipping sound causing her to giggle.
“Why didn’t you go with him?” I ask.
“I have work. I just handed in my notice though so next time I will definitely be going with them.”
“A kept woman hey?” I joke, wiggling my eyebrows.
She peeks at me and sighs. “So many women throw themselves at him on these tours. I know it’s a normal thing for him now, and I know he’d never cheat on me, but…”
“But what?” I ask, not liking the fact that she’s feeling a little unsure and questioning my cousin’s loyalty.
“In the back of my mind there is always doubt. You know? That I’m not good enough,” she tries to explain. “That he might find someone better.”
I think it over, tilting my head to the side and narrowing my eyes. “No. I don’t think I do know.”
Why doubt yourself? What does that do? It’s better to look at all your good qualities and focus on those. I’m my own biggest fan.
Her eyes widen. “You don’t ever feel like you’re not worthy or good enough for something or someone?” She laughs at my blank expression. “Ever?”
I shake my head. “I’m kind of awesome—and totally worthy. So are you.”
She stares at me in astonishment, blinking slowly. “I wish I had your confidence.”
Confidence.
Is that what I have? I was kind of thinking I had a huge ego instead, but I guess confidence works too.
“We should go out tonight,” I blurt out, changing the subject and trying to cheer her up. I think we could both use a girls’ night out. It’s been a while. And for some reason every time I try to take Lexi out Ryder always wants to tag along. He’s so clingy and needy sometimes!