Mark is staring, almost in horror, at Candace then turns to me. I know he can see the panic in my face because I feel it all throughout my body. “Yeah, man. Sure. I’ll just be in the other room.”
Mark turns and closes the door behind him.
“Shit. I’m so sorry,” she says as she hangs her head down.
“What for?”
“I don’t know. For having your boyfriend see us in bed together.”
“Don’t worry about it. I talk about you all the time. He knows how we are; it doesn’t bother him,” I tell her, trying to reassure her, but I’m freaking out because now I don’t know what to say to Mark. Come to think of it, I haven’t spoken to him since she’s been here. I haven’t even thought about it because I’ve been so consumed with her. But Mark and I are trying to make whatever we have going on right. “Candace, I don’t know what to do here. I just got back together with Mark, and I can’t lie to him.”
She looks up at me, and I see the worry etched across her face. She doesn’t speak; she just stares at me. I can tell she’s confused, but she eventually nods her head. I feel like I just asked too much of her, but I need her to do this for me, as selfish as it is. I need her to allow me to tell Mark the truth.
Lifting her chin with my finger, I assure her, “Mark would never say anything. He isn’t like that.”
She nods her head again as her face scrunches up in pain and she starts crying.
“Don’t cry,” I whisper as I wipe her tears, but they’re falling too fast for me.
“I’m so embarrassed.”
I band my arms around her. “I know you are, sweetie, but you shouldn’t be.”
I continue to hold her as her cries turn into wails. I rock her back and forth in an attempt to soothe her as she buries her head in my neck. The sounds coming out of her are so hard for me to hear, and I can’t keep the pain bottled up, so I cry as quietly as I can. I’ve haven’t cried like this—so painfully— since I lost Jace.
I manage to get myself under control as she continues to sob in my arms. She’s so loud. I can only imagine what Mark must be thinking. She’s been crying for nearly an hour when I look up and see Mark quietly walking across my room. My eyes follow him as he sits down next to Candace on the bed. Her arms tighten around me when Mark puts his hand on her back. I know she’s embarrassed, and I f**kin’ hate that. She clings to me and continues to cry as Mark and I stare at each other. He looks at me with questions written all over his face as I lay my cheek on top of her head.
When I feel Candace’s body going limp in my arms, I loosen my hold and look at her. She’s completely worn herself out. Mark slides off the bed and onto the floor in front of her, and she turns to look down at him. I watch him take her hand before he gently asks, “Who did this?”
I know she won’t speak. I know I’ll have to be the one to say it. Fuck. I don’t want to say it. It’s gonna kill her.
Mark’s eyes stay locked on her when I clear my throat to try and speak around the lump that’s lodged in it. “Um . . . Candace was attacked Monday night.”
When I say that, she lowers her elbows to her knees, hiding her face in her hands. I keep my hand on her back, and see Mark wrap his hands around her knees.
“What happened?” Mark asks.
Staring down at Candace, she starts shaking her head. I know I just need to say it. I shift my eyes to Mark, and he looks up at me with his brows knitted together. My face heats with tears, and I hate that Mark is seeing me like this, so I just say it.
I grip her shoulder tightly and let it out. “She was raped.”
Mark’s eyes close, and he huffs out a pained breath, dropping his head onto her lap as a new slew of sobs rip through Candace.
The three of us sit there and cling to each other. I hate seeing her so broken and wonder what the hell must be going through Mark’s head right now. I hate feeling so powerless. I hate everything about this.
Candace begins to quiet down, and she lifts her head, wiping her face with her hands.
“I won’t say anything, if you were worried about that,” Mark assures her.
“I’m so tired,” she responds.
“I told her she could stay here for a few days. She doesn’t want anyone to know, and if Kimber saw her face, she would question her.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Mark tells me, then looks at Candace and says, “I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m here if you ever need me. I feel like I know you by how much Jase speaks of you. The both of us are always here for you.”
God, I can’t even describe what his words do to me. That he doesn’t even hesitate for a second. I didn’t realize how much I might actually need him because just having him here in the same room as me right now makes me feel like I have the support I’ve been missing to keep it together. I don’t know how this guy can do that for me, but he does.
Chapter twelve
Slinging my backpack on, I hate that I’m leaving her. I look at Candace curled up on my couch, wrapped in a blanket.
“I’m fine,” she tries to convince me as I walk over and kiss her head.
I can’t miss any more classes this week. It’s the first week of the quarter and it’s the week where we pick our projects for graduation, so I have to go.
“I have a break in between my classes, so I’ll come back here, okay?”