Perry was napping by the time we got back to the car. I was torn beside sitting in the backseat with her and riding shotgun. I decided to ride in the front because it made me behave.
On the way back down the mountain, I’d be lying if I wasn’t trying to read her thoughts again, waiting for some clarity to make sense of what I heard earlier. No such luck. I couldn’t pick up on anything, not when we pulled into town, not when the doctor looked her over and proclaimed her fine (despite slathering her scratches in antiseptic), not when we hurried back to the motel and checked out before the suspicious front desk lady tossed our luggage in the hot tub.
And certainly not during the ass-numbing drive back to Seattle. Oh, Perry and I talked when we weren’t listening to our ever expanding playlist. But our topics were safe—wondering about if we’d get in trouble for making a run for the border without checking in with Rigby or the cops, or what Jimmy was going to say when we told him we didn’t have any footage and how he needs to trim his nosehairs. I wanted to ask her a million questions and talk about a million other things—big things, meaningful things—but every time I opened my mouth to do so, I was met with fear.
I remembered what she said last night: “You are a part of me, Dex. You’re every part of me. Always have been. Always will be.” I remembered clinging to those words as I fell asleep. And I remembered the things that she didn’t say. That I’d told her I loved her and never heard a thing in return. I had never told her just so she could say it back, but the silence was…nerve-wracking.
Which made the fact that I was unbearably horny even worse. Dex with blue balls was one thing, but when I was anxious as well, it made for a capricious situation. So I did my best to keep my eyes on the road, wishing she’d put her bulky sweatshirt back on, and got us home as quickly as I could.
It was around 11PM when I pulled the Highlander into the underground garage and parked it in my space. I switched off the engine and twisted in my seat to face her. Her eyes twinkled in the dim light but I couldn’t read her expression.
“So,” I said, trying to ignore the awkwardness that seemed to be building up in the car by the second.
She gave me a small smile and placed her hands in her lap. “So.”
Oh Jesus. Why did it feel like I was back in high school, trying to score with Cindy Brown in my beat-up Civic? Granted I ended up getting a wicked handjob, but the moments leading up to it were like pulling teeth. And I wasn’t even trying to get a handjob here, I’d just forgotten how to talk to Perry.
I bit the bullet. “Are you happy to be home?”
She nodded. “Fuck yeah.”
I held myself in check. I lowered my voice and leaned in closer. “Do you consider this to be your home now?”
My eyes searched hers, my brain concentrating, trying to hear anything, see anything, to get the truth from her.
“Seattle?” she asked cautiously. She looked down at her hands and tilted her head. “Yeah. I think I do.”
I should have accepted that. That should have been good enough. But it wasn’t good enough.
“I mean with me. Am I your home?”
She rubbed her lips together as the pressure in the car increased. The waiting, the tension, was unbearable. On the plus side, I didn’t have an erection anymore.
“Dex…” she started. “I’m still a bit confused over everything. Things have changed so fast…I just need time to get used to it, that’s all. I haven’t been able to think about much other than not dying. You know?”
I stared at her intensely and put my hand on her cheek, relishing the warmth of her skin, that incurable softness. “You’re my home, Perry. And I will be yours.”
I leaned over and kissed her softly, just a taste of her lips and what she could promise me. I pulled away and her eyes fluttered open, her lips still parted.
Swallowing hard, I gave her a quick smile and said, “Let’s get our things upstairs.”
We got our gear out of the car and embarked on a short but awkward elevator ride up to the second floor where my—our—apartment was. I started thinking that perhaps I’d been a little too presumptuous telling her I wanted to make her my home and that I would be hers. Then I realized I’d been nothing but presumptuous with her from the very start, from that very moment she made me pie. There was no point in stopping now, no matter how heavy my legs felt as we walked down the hall to our door, no matter how sweaty the back of my neck was, no matter how badly my mind wanted to analyze the moment. There was no stopping this—us.
I paused in front of the door, my keys out, and took in a deep breath. Then I turned to look at her. She stared back at me in anticipation neither of us could ignore any longer.
I cleared my throat. “I just thought I should warn you that the second we walk into the apartment, I am going to maul the f**k out of you. I don’t care if you’re tired or bruised or scratched. You’ll just be more so when I’m finished.”
I didn’t think it was possible for her eyes to get wider. But they did. Hey, at least she now knew what was coming.
Both of us.
I opened the door and stepped into the apartment which smelled slightly musty. Damn Seattle dampness got into everything. I expected Perry to hesitate after what I’d just told her, but she marched right on in after me. Her confidence was a surprise. My hard-on was back in full swing.
I dropped my bag then grabbed her, slamming the door shut by slamming her up against it. She let out a cry, but it had a throatiness to it, the kind that reached into my gut and stroked my balls and made me want to unleash everything on her that I’d kept to myself all day.
I devoured her lips with mine, wanting so much of her, all of her, always wanting more. She tasted sweeter than she did back in the car, wetter, more open, more giving. Our tongues entwined in the heat and I pressed hard against her, wanting to consume her in every way possible. One hand was lost in the silkiness of her thick hair, tugging on it lightly, the other was jerking up her shirt, soaking in the feeling of her skin.
My lips pulled away and went to her ear where I licked up the rim, feeling her shiver under my tastebuds.
“I want to put my tongue so deep inside you,” I moaned.
She let out a breathy laugh. “I think you just did.”
I smiled as my lips trailed down her neck. “That was nothing.”
I pulled her shirt over her head and unclasped her bra until her heavy br**sts bounced free. I dipped my head and sucked hard on one nipple, making it pucker delicately in my mouth. Perry’s breath hitched sharply and I knew I was on the right track. Last night she was in charge, but now, now we were on my turf and I was going to f**k her senseless.